Context: We've been dating for almost 10 months now. We matched on Bumble last September and we mutually decided to get off the apps as we spent more time with each other a couple weeks before we put a label on things. It was verbalised, discussed and confirmed.
Recently, I've been going through a mental rough patch. Depression and anxiety have been eating me away for the past month. On top of that, I lost my job about a week ago. It was the second time I got laid off in 6 months. I'm not doing well, both physically and mentally.
I have a weird habit of going through old texts for fun. After getting fed a couple of dating app ads by YouTube in the middle of the night, I decided to re-download Bumble to go through the first messages we've ever exchanged.
Then, I noticed his profile was different. New introduction. New pictures, one of which was taken by me on our big trip in April. My stomach sunk.
I called him (woke him up cuz it was 1 am) and told him what I discovered. Here is his explanation: 3-4 weeks ago, he was feeling lonely about not having friends who actively invite him to hiking or camping adventures. So he decided to go on Bumble bff to give it a shot and see if it was any good. He told me he was only on there for half a day cuz it was trash, and forgot about it since, and that's why he never felt the need to tell me.
He asked me if I thought he was cheating. I told him I didn't, but I did think he was looking for better options before he decides it's time to leave me. He told me it was my depression talking, trying to find evidence to fit into the narrative of him leaving. I am guilty of that thought, but part of me feels potentially gaslit.
I'm not mad. But I am feeling awfully insecure. I don't want to break up with him yet. But should I further confront him about it? If so, how should I approach it?
submitted by /u/anxious_attachment21
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