Throwaway because my fiancé knows my Reddit account. Also apologies for formatting and grammar because I’m on mobile.
My (24f) fiancé (27m) have been engaged for four months. I’d like to preface that other than this issue we truly have a great relationship. He is very kind and respectful and we very rarely disagree or argue. I love him very much and I want to work on some sort of compromise.
It started when my fiancé asked if we could eat healthier. I have never had an “unhealthy lifestyle”. I eat out maybe once to twice a week and it’s typically something like chipotle. Occasionally I’ll get a burger somewhere. I also indulge in a zero sugar pop every now and then. My cooking is generally normal. Not super healthy but not extremely unhealthy by any means. My only unhealthy habit has been caffeine (energy drinks, pre-workout). But I’ve severely limited that since he asked me to stop.
My issue lies in the fact that there is zero compromise. I have completely changed my lifestyle. Every meal we cook is healthy. I limit to one sugar free soda a day. I don’t snack. I don’t eat sugar. I also don’t eat out. Occasionally I will try to break these habits. For example, his brother got us a pack of Oreos and I tried to eat one and my fiancé physically took it from my mouth. His reasoning is that they’re not healthy.
If I occasionally want to pick up food he gets upset because it’s not healthy. If I try to snack he takes the food from me. If I get an energy drink he dumps it out. He makes comments constantly about what I eat and gets upset if he doesn’t approve.
I’ve tried to talk to him but he just says “I want you to take care of yourself” or “am I not supposed to care about your health”. I don’t mind being healthy, but at some point I want to enjoy food. I don’t want to be self conscious about what I eat.
It came to head last night when he thought I grabbed a second Coke Zero and got upset. I didn’t even grab one. He just thought I did. I got really upset, but he was too stubborn to hear my side so I just asked for space. We still haven’t resolved the issue. Has anyone had this problem before? Am I wrong in wanting to indulge every now and then? Is there a compromise I’m missing?
(I wanted to add that I’m not overweight and I’m pretty active. I’m no fitness model, but I’m also not unfit)
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