Oh boy I don't even know how to start this or what type of advice I'm even looking for. I just know I'm at the end of my rope and I'm seriously thinking about ending our relationship. I just need to get this off my chest so apologies if it sounds disjointed. English is not my first language.
I met "Bill" about four years ago when I was finishing my PhD. Because of the timing we didn't spend a whole lot of time together for the first 6 months, so his "issues" weren't as obvious to me. Fast forward a year into the relationship and we are living together and his lack of luck(?) starts to show.
First it was the laundry. When Bill will do laundry something will go wrong. At first I thought this was a typical case of weaponized incompetence, but it soon came apparent that he's just cursed. He would meticulously sort the whites, only to find out there was already a pair of colored socks in the washer. The washer ended up breaking on six different occasions. Once flooding the entire kitchen and ruining the floor. It never gives me issues. He once boiled our underwear but swears up and down he made sure it was on the right setting.
If he orders food it will get cancelled, the wrong order arrives, it gets stolen or arrives comically late. This never happens when I order. He sets a timer with Alexa when cooking and she just doesn't remind him. This has resulted in a multitude of ruined dinners.
He applied for a better position at his company. The person who was supposed to take over his old position got arrested for drug use on the job. This delayed the promotion by six months while they looked for a new candidate and trained them.
He has been rear-ended FOUR TIMES in the last 8 months. Once while he was at a gas station. Once while he was stopped at a red light. Two fairly new cars just ruined.
He got bit by a cat at a friend's house and got such a severe infection that he ended up being hospitalised for three days.
He got robbed while on a run last year.
He gets food poisoning at least every three months. I'm not sure how he's still alive at this point.
He bought a new TV and had it installed. It broke off the wall two days later. TV broken and the wall needed to be fixed.
He electrocuted himself changing a lightbulb a month ago, fell off the ladder and needed six stitches on the back of his head.
He walked around the corner outside our apartment complex a week after we moved in and got hit by a rock some kid threw. It chipped his front tooth and split his lip.
I could go on for hours. I'm fully aware this sounds like a script for a bad comedy and sometimes I'm not completely convinced I'm not living in some crazy Truman show situation. I work 12-14 hour shifts 6 days a week and I'm constantly worried about him to the point I can't do my job. Is he going to cross a road and get hit by a truck? Am I going to come home and all my walls have collapsed? Are we going to spend a good chunk of our savings buying new electronics, fixing the house, or paying for an ambulance ride this month?
It's at a point where I take care of almost everything. I do the laundry, wash the dishes, cook, order groceries, fix what needs fixing or call the handyman. If we go anywhere then I drive. If we plan a vacation then I do it, otherwise our flights end up getting cancelled or the the hotel accidentally books us into a single bedroom. If he does anything I need to double or tripple check it just for my own peace of mind. And in his defence, he does all the right things. He's just extremely unlucky.
I don't know if he's playing an extremely elaborate trick on me to make sure he never needs to lift a finger. I highly doubt it but who tf knows. We've had so many conversations about this and his response is just that he has always been terribly unlucky. He apologises and promises to be more careful but some of these events aren't even in his control.
This feels like such a shitty thing to break up over but I don't know what to do anymore. I can't online with this constant anxiety and I don't think counselling would help. What the heck do I do?
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Ok, boomer
Even if you did casual or a hookup, you still would not have a BF.
He just got out a relationship. He sounds sound ready.