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My (38m) wife (38f) always get sick when I take vacation

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My (38m) wife (38f) always get sick when I take vacation from work. She is a stay at home mom with lots of freedom. If she is having an off day, I encourage her that laundry and etc. can wait.

I work 40+ hours a week at a salary job and it is high stress. It's not unusual to get calls after hours or work on Saturday. I'm active with the kids and also help with the house.

When I take vacation from work, it's scheduled 30+ days in advance. Most of the time it's a stay-cation (relax at home). She is well aware of the dates.

It never fails. My vacation arrives and she is either sick or not feeling well (ie sore back). My plans get canceled, like sleeping in or a morning fishing trip. She feels bad for feeling bad, usually cries, and spends the whole time in bed.

This isn't normal. How do I deal with this? I've tried to discuss it in the past, but it just turns into her crying.

This round I get 2 days off and suddenly her back hurts bad enough she can barely walk. She claimed that she cleaned all day, but the kids said she basically just played a computer game.

Help?!?

Update: She went to bed shortly after I posted this.

Details : We have 3 kids, all 6+ years old. She gets time away from the kids often for the day or multiple days.

submitted by /u/Edmonkayakguy
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Date: August 3, 2023

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