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My brother (25m) is getting married on the day of my (26f) med school graduation and everyone expects me to ditch my graduation for his wedding. I don’t want to, but I know if I don’t my relationship with my entire family will suffer.

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Brother and I love each other very much. But he is the only boy, the baby, and the golden child of the family and so I'm used to kinda standing in his shade. But I've worked my ass off in med school and I would really like to attend my own graduation, but when I expressed that to my family (brother included), everyone got very upset for even considering attending my graduation in lieu of his wedding. And now I really don't know what to do..

submitted by /u/ThrowRA_ughhhhhh
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From:
Date: March 9, 2023
Actors: Cuteprincess21

31 thoughts on “My brother (25m) is getting married on the day of my (26f) med school graduation and everyone expects me to ditch my graduation for his wedding. I don’t want to, but I know if I don’t my relationship with my entire family will suffer.

  1. Idk how to weigh the emotions of your embarrassment vs the emotions of your boyfriend being treated in a blatantly (not arguably) racist, derogatory manner. Why are you more focused on your embarrassed emotions and your brother being slapped for being a racist than focusing on your brother saying some racist shit to the partner you love?

    Put your embarrassment and your emotions aside and take up for the partner you’ve chosen to be with.

  2. So you want to marry someone who's cheated on you multiple times? You're nineteen. You're not even fully mature. Please do not get married to this turd.

  3. What he needs to hear is “I do love him but I don’t want to spend my whole life feeling like this”.

    He needs to understand that this isn't sustainable and will end in divorce if it isn't resolved.

  4. You’re for the streets. Just sleeping with any and everything without connections. ? It’s funny how you assume someone else’s is fake or boring when you continue to comment. Jesus you need a therapist not Reddit.

  5. Hey thank you. This is encouraging as well as pragmatic! I agree. And yes, I’m excited about that possibility of living in another country just for its own sake 🙂

  6. My emotionally abusive ex used this one too.

    “If I leave this home, I will walk straight into the road under a bus, I will have nothing to online for without you.”

    You know what happened when we split? He moved 4 hours away and started dating within a fortnight.

    It's a flat out lie to emotionally blackmail you into staying. Do not listen.

  7. Second this sub. Saved my butt going through this three years ago honestly and really helped me work out my feelings in a safe place.

  8. I adopted my wife’s son and then we had 3 of our own. I also was adopted from birth, Puerto Rican with a south Louisiana draw

  9. Insist either she returns the PlayStation & mind her own business or you will call the police & report the theft. Charge her & she will not be allowed back into your home. This is your home not hers. She has no right to tell you what to do & when to do it. She crossed a huge line.

  10. So you have to make a decision here. I can see her side and yours because it was an identical conversation I had with an ex of mine who we had the same situation. I don't share, and I consider sex as a bonding thing and intimate thing whereas my ex didn't see it that way and as youe fiance said, it's just sex.

    Needless to say as I referred to her, my ex. You can't change someone and you can't force someone to not want to do something. If she wants to be in a open marriage (or swinging as it will be) then you need to basically tell her she has a choice to make. You won't share, regardless if it's a man or woman. So she needs to be open and honest on what she really wants. If she wants to be in a relationship where she can sleep with other people then you two won't be moving forward with marriage.

  11. I can't imagine he would be upset, I'm just worried that if my friend tells him I was cheating it will plant doubts in his mind, and as we go to different colleges and only see each other on weekends trust is very important.

  12. I don't disagree…people do change. They also ignore huge red flags or dont trust their gut feeling before they married including myself. I wish I would have learned to trust my gut 20 yrs ago. We got married young because our parents pushed the issue.

    We all wake up everyday and make a choice to be happy, you make the choice to have deep respect for your spouse, you make the choice to have sex with your spouse, you make the choice to attend marriage counseling, make the choice to be faithful, you also have the choice to leave or cheat.

    After 20 yrs of marriage my ex-husband had an affair…it was the best decision he ever made. We built an excellent life together, we were a good team, and parted as friends. We both choose wisely from a financial standpoint because we worked so well together. We had a good marriage because we were friends and still are. We both had an opportunity to start a new chapter in life and I'm thankful to him.

    Hes been living with her for several years and I've been remarried for 3 yrs. We made each other better people but we didn't put the effort into our marriage…our careers were more important and we never had children. We had nothing keeping us together other than assets.

  13. Lol Jesus Christ, OP doesn't like her fiancé anymore because he ages like everyone else and she's willing to end their relationship because he's concerned about her safety.

    Also I've noticed she's only replying to those who share her opinion even though she asked for advice from everyone?

  14. Because it’s racist to discriminate someone based on race. Excluding people is discrimination. Discrimination is racist.

  15. You know when you know.

    From what you've already written, you know.

    Knowing what to do about it is the hardest part.

  16. You know when you know.

    From what you've already written, you know.

    Knowing what to do about it is the hardest part.

  17. Why would you marry a man like this? He sounds insensitive and rude. A man who really loved you would put your feelings first in regards to YOUR body above all things. They wouldn't disregard your trauma like that. Like is this even a real person? I have a very hot time believing someone is this apathetic to someone they love.

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