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Date: October 2, 2022
Your brother sounds like an actual legit moron in the medical sense, and you need better boundaries for your son/children, if I may. Bro sounds toxic af, not just politics-but that awful villain type reality tv show goblin type. Why would you want your son anywhere near that personality type? Gads.
All I can say is based on what you said above, I see no reason to think she is cheating. If there are other things happening that are suspicious, that is different, but just being on FB a lot does not signal anything to me. She could be chatting with friends, reading news articles, looking at pictures of cute puppies, participating in groups that share her interest in her favorite books or favorite movies, who knows. I mean… it is FB, it is not like she is on a dating app. And as far as her not being on FB around you, my guess is that she is occupied when she is with you so she is not getting bored and needing to play on her phone. So maybe just ask her “You seem to be on FB quite a bit, what the heck do you even do on there?” and see what she says. However, be sure you are using a really curious, normal tone of voice and not saying it in a snarky way because it is not fair to accuse someone of being up to no good when you have zero evidence and she would likely take offense to that, especially considering you say that there are no existing trust issues. But really, you should trust her unless she gives you a reason not to trust her. Now if she is pulling away from you, not wanting to spend time together, that sort of thing, than that is a totally different conversation, but no FB in itself is not a signal of anything. Heck, my grandma is on FB all of the time.
You can give ME the STD then blame me for giving it to YOU and you’re covered!
If you don't drink and get high with your friends, who do you do it with? You seem to have a lot of insecurities.
The old relationship seems fried, so on with the new. Both of you met someone else while you were long distance. He didn't tell you about his platonic relationship, which seems to have stayed that way. It's not clear whether you told him about your platonic relationship, which you now realize wasn't platonic at all.
I’d say she’s failing the lifelong partner test pretty bad here. By not shutting this down means she is enjoying the attention regardless of what she may tell you. This has the biggest red flags all over it.
Redhead here. Long red hair. I shed like a mofo. Walked into my besties. He was at the kitchen counter making tea. He went to grab his coat (we were on opposite ends of the house) put it on, I walked over and went for a hug…and saw one of my hairs on his jacket before I’d even touched him. His ex was always mad about finding my hair everywhere- I felt so bad. He just wasn’t a vacuum daily kind of person, so over the years of our friendship, my hair was just there. My guess is daycare.
Your childhood/teenage ex bf is not causing fight in your adult relationship. It's your bf who is fighting with you because he is as abusive as your ex. You jumped from boiling water into frying pan.
You can't fix your bf. It's his own insecurities which he has to deal with most probably alone and in therapy.
RIGHT? And he was upset he “had” to block her. Lmao
This.
Honestly if she forced him to celebrate in the past he may not even want to go this year. I know I wouldn’t want to spend my birthday with a recent ex and their new partner so recently after a breakup. Even if things were friendly. Just too awkward.
So he may not even come!
I would say you can give your opinion that it may be uncomfortable for everyone, ie you, him, her, plus mutual friends if this is the first time you are meeting some of them. Let her decide what to do afterwards.
It sounds like she is truly to be respectful of everyone’s feelings, not that she isn’t over him.
Personally I would suggest she just invite who she actually wants to be there and let the coins fall where they may. He may be hurt, but things change after breakups, it sucks but it is just how it is. The whole point of breakups is you are deciding to live your own life away from the ex and make decisions on what is best for you.
Kind people try to minimize harm if they can, but they still need to move on and on-line their lives. The hurt has already happened, she is dating you and seems happy.
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She told me that one of her toxic exes called her a psycho and that she should go to a psychologists. He meant that as an insult during a fight they had and now I'm afraid to bring up the subject. How can I do that in a tactful way? I don't want to be compared to that guy because he did a lot of awful things to her.
Throw the whole man away
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Well, sometimes it’s not the very hot dog…. Maybe the hallway is just too big?
“would you date me if….xyz” yes dude she has a crush on you. Question is: whatcha gonna do about it?
Well this seems like a rather interesting idea. I never really thought of a professor as somebody I could approach with a problem such as this. The professor in question is friendly enough that I could in theory tell him about this, though I have not conversed about anything but academic stuff, research stuff and general day-to-day stuff with him.
The counselor is the best option I have because I actually made an active effort to make myself known to my professors, dean and the counselor as a student they WANT to watch succeed I guess. It's to an extent where the dep. Dean is willing to give me a strong letter of recommendation if I want him to provide me one.
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I apologize for my facetious reply. I completely agree, and I'm surprised the number is as high as 8%.
Faaaaaaake
Honestly, that sounds like a very common and healthy marriage, I'd just start telling him I'd like to go on dates again and initiate being flirty. No need to admit something that didn't happen, she was drunk, got attention, got flirty and left before things escalated.
Please try to follow the story. She's going to school and he supports her and he will go to school when she's done and then she will support him. He will get a better job with better education.
It can. Xannies last in the blood stream for a good few weeks after consumption.
Thank you for clearing that up!
Way too soon for this IMO.
You expect him to give you heads up? If you have expectations, why didn't you give him heads up and asked him to hang out today?
I'm not attacking you, but some of your arguments can easily be turned around.
Have a serious conversation about finances (bills) and chores. Make sure you are both on the same page about these things. Even write it down. I know it sounds a bit clinical when you are all excited about moving in together, but it could save future misunderstandings and arguments. Good luck!
Yeah I don’t know either
He cheated and is trying to manipulate you into accepting.
What exactly did he say or do while you were on the trip?
Poor dude. At least he has some time and rest now to work on himself
The amount of downvotes tell you exactly who's the one overreacting here.
I hope this story is made up
Daylight savings with kids is exhausting
You win everything. Your comments made me laugh so fucking very hot. Thank you, I need that.
Tell him you no longer want him coming over when you're not home. Change the locks, put a lock on the gate, and install a security system.
It hurts to hear but I think you’re right
I think he wants you to break up with him. He’s pushing to find your limit and cross it, so you’ll leave.
It almost sounds like she wants you to cut all ties with exes in personal, private chats. Maybe she’s okay with social media, but texting is more direct/personal…like DM. You guys might need to talk about that further, but you can’t until she reaches out or stops being passive aggressive.
Perhaps a diplomatic approach is best for now. Tell her that you can tell she is unhappy and that you will be there when she is ready. Then, give her some space since that’s what she’s asking for by ignoring you.
Also, a lot of ppl are saying she might have cheated. It is possible, but this reaction could also come from deeply rooted insecurities without her having cheated.
He lost weight and his conscience.
It doesn't matter now. You invaded his privacy.
The relationship is dead. Sounds dramatic but I'm serious. You can not tell him and drag this on for years, maybe decades, but this relationship will fail. Relationships cannot live with mistrust.
Talk to a lawyer, don’t agree to anything. All communication should be through lawyer, now. Don’t trust him, he’s already screwed you.
Talk to a lawyer, don’t agree to anything. All communication should be through lawyer, now. Don’t trust him, he’s already screwed you.
Maybe make your authentic self someone who keeps their vows
Well, yes, but the only real information you have is that he is not interested now. Apparently because of a breakup. Again, people don't need to see flaws in other people to lack romantic feelings. It's not your issue
?♀️ Doesn't take a rocket scientist to conclude prostitutes sleep with more people than the average “casual dater”, thus being exposed to more stains of HPV.
I'm going to have to side with my gyno on this one, as opposed to some “redditor who almost had sex with someone with HPV”. My gyno would give you a serious scolding for saying HPV isn't a big deal.
He may have a kidney/bladder issue. Not all of those are full of overt symptoms. Could he be dehydrated? That adds to it, for sure. I'd suggest going to the doctor for blood work and urinalysis, just to be sure. With kidney issues, your whole body can smell of urine
If someone demands for sex this earlier in a relationship, and even threatens to break it off over him not getting sex, then its clear to day that he doesn't love you and is after your body. Once he gets it, its over.
Dont give in to him, break it off first. No actual reasonable person is going to pressure their partner in to sex like this.
im not a virgin(?)
“Yeah this isnt working and i frankly dont want to see you anymore”
Depends on YOUR level of gaming.
In my own 11+ year relationship, it isn’t much of an issue because we both partake in gaming on a daily basis. If I think he’s going overboard- I say it- and he responds by turning it off and focusing on me.
You won’t know until you live together whether or not it’s a real problem for the two of you as a couple.
and PS, when my SO WAS going overboard playing too long (3+ hrs with no breaks) and I was done, I pulled his plugs. That seemed to set a good boundary- one that I had vocally brought up tens of times before pulling the plug 🙂
Depends on YOUR level of gaming.
In my own 11+ year relationship, it isn’t much of an issue because we both partake in gaming on a daily basis. If I think he’s going overboard- I say it- and he responds by turning it off and focusing on me.
You won’t know until you live together whether or not it’s a real problem for the two of you as a couple.
and PS, when my SO WAS going overboard playing too long (3+ hrs with no breaks) and I was done, I pulled his plugs. That seemed to set a good boundary- one that I had vocally brought up tens of times before pulling the plug 🙂
Having empathy and caring about your feelings doesn’t mean catering to them to encourage behavior that he needs to be looking inwards to work on
That’s helping a symptom Not the root He sounds insecure, maybe even a little codependent and if you let that run your relationship that’s how you get isolated, have no friends, and basically narrow down your life as to not “upset” them and help make him comfortable Vs supporting him working through what’s really causing that deep down
So many times I see / experienced that it starts with small things like this and since there’s no push back for him to resolve the issue if OP caters to that
(assuming he’s even self aware of the jealous helicopter boyfriend behavior and not just pinning it all on OP) he naturally is not going to feel the need to work on it So OP will be stuck jumping through hoops and adding extra layers for HER to keep the peace.
There is a difference between love, empathy, and enabling toxic behavior that will likely get worse unless addressed early
I mean she said she’s bad with financies and wants to give me access to all her bank accounts etc so I can manage them better. She has adhd so she forgets to pay bills etc and pays late fees and I’m the opposite financially