I didn’t read too far, because right off the bat I could tell this guy has issues with your body autonomy, and that’s a neon red flag for me. What you did with your body before you met him is none of his business. If he’s uncomfortable with it, he can leave. What he doesn’t get to do is shame you for living a whole life before he came along.
You made the right choice for you at the time. Heck, even if you made wrong choices, you’re just doing your best existing and life is very hot and imperfect.
He’s 31, but still a kid. Men who have sh*t going on and careers and friends and a real life… they’re just happy to find a partners who can join them on all the adventures of adulting.
Baby boy over here doesn’t sound like he’s got a lot going on if he can obsess about your past trauma.
Maybe it’s because I’m old now and am super busy with my amazing life, but I can’t imagine my husband and I having this much energy for this level of narcissistic drama…
Between painting the deck, chasing kids, making money… and cooking dinner… our past life as carefree 20 years olds seem so unimportant.
Do yourself a favor and find a man. You’ve got a lot of life ahead of you to live and build up. He sounds…. Not busy enough.
If a partner for any reason told me they didn’t find me physically attractive I would never, ever be able to forget it. She can lose the weight, and if she does be careful because she’ll remember how you treated her while bigger….
So your father has the same toxic mindedness across the board and tries to use his height to intimidate.. yeah, he sounds like a great person – exactly how the bible wants its followers to be.
I think you should break up with your bf, clearly you'll never put him first in your relationship and you've already said that you need your father's support more (control isn't support btw).
You have every right to believe in whatever fairy tale you want and to apply those rules to your own lifestyle. But when you bigots start applying your fairy tale rules to others, like pretending that supporting your so called “friend” on his wedding day, somehow violates your beliefs. In reality you are just using it as a shield to avoid answering for your bigotry. I’d feel the same way if you had a friend that avoided your future wedding because it goes against their “beliefs”. Bigotry is bigotry.
None of what you described has anything to do with gaslighting. I wish people would stop using that term to mean “doing something I don't like”.
So you brought it up to him, he apologized, then you besought it up again. What were you expecting to gain from the second conversation? Can you explain to him what your goals were with bringing it up again and what you felt was missing from the first conversation?
That's financial abuse. You are scared because you are literally watching your mother be abused.
I didn’t read too far, because right off the bat I could tell this guy has issues with your body autonomy, and that’s a neon red flag for me. What you did with your body before you met him is none of his business. If he’s uncomfortable with it, he can leave. What he doesn’t get to do is shame you for living a whole life before he came along.
You made the right choice for you at the time. Heck, even if you made wrong choices, you’re just doing your best existing and life is very hot and imperfect.
He’s 31, but still a kid. Men who have sh*t going on and careers and friends and a real life… they’re just happy to find a partners who can join them on all the adventures of adulting.
Baby boy over here doesn’t sound like he’s got a lot going on if he can obsess about your past trauma.
Maybe it’s because I’m old now and am super busy with my amazing life, but I can’t imagine my husband and I having this much energy for this level of narcissistic drama…
Between painting the deck, chasing kids, making money… and cooking dinner… our past life as carefree 20 years olds seem so unimportant.
Do yourself a favor and find a man. You’ve got a lot of life ahead of you to live and build up. He sounds…. Not busy enough.
Don’t fight about it anymore – your deal with her is now void. Start liking women you know in bikini’s again –
Updateme!
If a partner for any reason told me they didn’t find me physically attractive I would never, ever be able to forget it. She can lose the weight, and if she does be careful because she’ll remember how you treated her while bigger….
So your father has the same toxic mindedness across the board and tries to use his height to intimidate.. yeah, he sounds like a great person – exactly how the bible wants its followers to be.
I think you should break up with your bf, clearly you'll never put him first in your relationship and you've already said that you need your father's support more (control isn't support btw).
You have every right to believe in whatever fairy tale you want and to apply those rules to your own lifestyle. But when you bigots start applying your fairy tale rules to others, like pretending that supporting your so called “friend” on his wedding day, somehow violates your beliefs. In reality you are just using it as a shield to avoid answering for your bigotry. I’d feel the same way if you had a friend that avoided your future wedding because it goes against their “beliefs”. Bigotry is bigotry.
None of what you described has anything to do with gaslighting. I wish people would stop using that term to mean “doing something I don't like”.
So you brought it up to him, he apologized, then you besought it up again. What were you expecting to gain from the second conversation? Can you explain to him what your goals were with bringing it up again and what you felt was missing from the first conversation?