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HOT + SQUIRT [308 tokens remaining]
Date: October 28, 2022
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If you’re not happy, then leave him. This relationship is not going to get better. It’s infinitely better to be single than it is to be in a relationship where you’re disrespected.
Morning-after remorse. Taken by surprise or not, Wife consented while drunk and initially agreed not to tell.
I realize that a growing number of ppl feel that intoxicants erase consent. But so many ppl happily drink or toke or whatever and do the wild thing! Try as I might, I cannot accept that they're all R-ing each other. I wouldn't hang my decision on whether Wife files a police report.
I'm a Forgive Once person. An unforced confession and remorse check my boxes. The decision for me would rest on Wife's actually cutting off these “friends” for whom this event was their idea of fun with other couples, who find it more convenient to ask forgiveness than to ask permission, and who have no boundaries whatever. Your house, your bed, your kids running around, for chrissakes. Wife needs to do with these friends exactly what she does with a dirty diaper. If she can't manage that, Wife would get no mulligan even from me.
Bro grow a pair and do what makes you happy. Not your brothers girlfriend??? Also what does race have anything to do with this? It seems like their more uncomfortable with her being white and opinionated rather than her being “childish”. Because why even bring up what race everyone is? It seems that you are almost uncomfortable with her. Either stay with her and tell your brother and his girlfriend to go get bent, or break up with her before you drag her into a mess she doesn’t deserve being in because you’re too scared to do what makes you happy.
It's wonderful to know that mental illnesses are SUCH a dealbreaker considering at this point most people have one, but you'd never notice because people hide them.
OP, I'm sorry this happened to you. I imagine it was a blow. I'm a professor and sometimes grade a paper more poorly than a student expected. In my own experience these are some of the reasons this happens
students did not resolve problems with the first draft (it sounds like you did not have a first draft as a separate assignment so its not that) students did not fulfill the requirement of the prompt. They may have written a summary of a topic for example, without having a thesis statement. They may have gotten side-tracked and gone on at length with a side issue… They may have misunderstood what they were supposed to be doing. This happens alot in the sciences, in my experience. Being clear and concise has a high value in scientific writing while being descriptive or changing sentence structure is a much lower value. When students are unprepared for that, their papers sound like fluff. Which brings us to 3: students do not write densely enough. What I mean by that is the ratio of support from literature to writing is not high enough. This can give the paper a feel of a blog rather than a research paper. They may follow the format of a paper with intro, three main body sections and conclusion so carefully that their paper has a lot of repetition between all the transitions, topic sentences, intro, and conclusions. This gives the paper a feel of being lazily written.
There are two other things I have seen contribute.
The professor: Grading papers is an arduous task. Midway through a pile, professors may find themselves curt and annoyed. Once, I had 100 + students in a class. On paper # 14, a student wrote for 7 pages before citing a reference. I was so tired, overwhelmed, and frustrated that a student wasted my time on such a poor product, that I cried. I've never written the comments you got, but I have been crabby when grading, especially a student who is really good but not producing at the level I think they can do. Your prof may just have been frustrated.
The strong student: Some very strong students always do well until they hit a course with a more professional level expectation. Like you, I was always a good writer. In graduate school, I realized there were things I had not learned about writing to go from “good university paper” to “publishable”. As a professor, I have found that I almost never have the luxury of adequately commenting on the best papers in the class. Sometimes other papers are so weak, that the top students get inflated grades and remarks. It may be the case that you genuinely got good grades in prior courses as one of the top students but that you have more writing weaknesses than you know.
In any case, one thing you could do is that a copy of your submitted paper to a writing tutor or to another professor you trust and ask them to look at it. Give them the assignment as well. Tell them that you got an unexpectedly low grade and ask if they can see why. See if they point out the same issues as your prof. Then, do talk to your professor. It will go better if you say that you were surprised by the low grade and want to know how you misunderstood what he was expecting and how you can improve. Good luck!
You are amazing! ❤️
Can't say much aside from +1 for couples therapy. Stay strong. Hope you heal from this and find peace.
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Time to eject from this relationship. There really is nothing else to do. This kind of accusation could ruin your life, OP. She could use this accusation to prevent you from being with your child in the future. She could post this accusation on social media.
My advice is to tell her that you are not discussing something you didn't do ever again. Period. And just walk away if she starts up again. Seriously. Stop continuing to attempt defending yourself for something that didn't happen.
Stop going anywhere with her (especially to visit her family!). Stop having sex with her. Stop sleeping in the same bed with her. Tell her that anyone who could even THINK such a terrible thing about you is not someone you want to spend your life with. Or even one more month.
You're only 21, OP. Something like this could haunt you for the rest of your life. Don't let it.
Horrible take. I would want to personally know that my mum is a POS. I agree installing the cameras is a big no from me still, but I would’ve gone NC with my mum the second I found out and she admitted to it.
He's cheating, don't let him lead you to believe otherwise. Sorry this has happened to you OP.
I think moving in together this soon would be way too risky. She could have a poor credit score and not able to get her own place. Or you lock in a place together and if she offered to pay suddenly “loses” her job. Tell her you’ll revisit the idea in a few months time. If she sticks around she may be genuine or maybe not but by then you’ll have enough time to judge her character and see if you mesh.
Daddy got his two lil girls. He doesn't need a new younger male trying to usurp his throne.
He's gross. The poly aspect only makes him even more pathetic.
Come on now my guy. I’m a lesbian with a girl and a guy best friend.
If that was really true, how would lgbtq folks make friends? Question your own thinking
I'm a girl and I don't think having boundaries is being insecure. You don't have to be a doormat. Also, that friend of yours is being disrespectful to his fiancee by texting your girlfriend so much.
Good for you being secure enough not to take shit from people.
Lol what I meant by that statement you quoted is why be in a long-term relationship with someone who you won't live! with pretty much ever lol
Then good lol
Spray him with a squirt bottle if he ever brings it up again ??
Why does it feel like my entire page lately is filled with people cheating with coworkers or falling for coworkers?!?! Hmmmm. Anyways, sorry this happened to you. Everyone has their boundaries and she crossed yours. Sounds like you’re healing. Get back out there and date when you’re ready. Only you know whether you can take her back. I can’t tell you that. Just make sure you don’t make a decision you’ll come to regret.
FAFO LOL He sounds to immature for a relationship
Couldnt find anything saying incest in moldova was less common than anywhere else in particular
What a mess of a relationship
All my BF said was “those cops didn’t deserve to die but I understand the frustration “ where is the disrespect
He assumed you were outside “cooling off” for 2 HOURS?
First point: He knew you were upset. Otherwise why would you need to 'cool off'?
So, he didn't check on his upset wife 15min after you left…
He didn't check on his upset wife 30 Min after ahe left.
He didn't check on his upset wife ONE HOUR after he thought you 'went outside to cool off'.
He didn't check on his upset wife an hour and a half after you left.
I would bet money that SOMEONE ELSE asked where you had gone around the 2 hour mark OR he was thinking he wanted to leave soon and then realized the car was gone.
The only suitable way to talk to this moron at this point is to start phrases with “What the fuck is wrong with you?…”
For example,
“What the fuck is wrong with you that you think that bringing up me being a surrogate for ANYONE at a friend get together is funny?”
“What the fuck is wrong with you that you think humiliating your wife in a group hangout is really fucking funny?”
“What the fuck is wrong with you? You just made it so that your friends will never be confortable around me AND you made fun of your friend's pregnancy issues?”
Basically, “I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you but you are so stupid and immature that I'm filing for divorce to get away from you.”
… you embarass yourself and the people who arrive with you so badly. I don't want to join you in being the brunt of the joke with your friends anymore. You can now keep that honor to yourself.”
And in the meantime, I would send a polite apology to the surrogacy couple. “I'm sorry my husband thought to make your challenges into the butt of his jokes. I've had enough of how inconsiderate he is. I'm done. I wish you all the best in your family plans.”
Frankly, if I could sabotage his relationship with these friends on the way out of the picture, I would.
Great news.
Please don't worry.
Sounds like my ex. We lived together 7 years and I finally left this year. It only got worse over time. In hindsight he always had controlling tendencies, but as I matured I realized it’s something I could not tolerate. I hope your guy is more reasonable than mine and you can work through it in therapy. Sounds like this came out of no where
It’s not understandable that your girlfriend got upset by what she found while snooping on you.
It’s not reasonable to tell someone to delete their past.
You can’t move because…you’re not the primary custodial parent? Is not moving in your divorce decree? How old are your kids?
The reality is, at 36, this is probably the best opportunity your bf’s going to get. If he’s the CEO’s darling, maybe he can split time? 6 hours apart could be a short plane ride.
So much to consider, here.
No I agree with you, I was just so excited about how our relationship was going. Of course after this I have a hot time trusting him. Im all about honesty and being genuine, so it’s not gonna work.
I mean emotionally. If I’m wrong I’m wrong but why else would you pick one of the weirdest origin stories for a relationship? Is this woman that stunning or amazing that you can overlook it all?
You said it yourself: he's not open to getting it.
He doesn't care about you supporting him financially. He doesn't have the empathy to try and understand your stress. I don't think this is as simple as “explaining it to him”. He sees you stressed out and ready to cry but just thinks “huh strange, what's her problem, knock off the crying it's just ____”. (You can fill in the blank there with anything, that is how he will treat you forever, this time it's money) . Explaining might help him leave you alone, but it won't make him care about you. You will still be dealing with your problems alone and avoiding your normal emotions around him.
In a relationship we need to be there for each other, build each other up, be a shoulder to cry on. Every person has their own anxieties and triggers, we need partners that have the patience and understanding to let us cry about weird things and then help us see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I completely understand why this stresses you out. I have some suggestions, but I'm not saying that your stress is unwarranted or that you need to stop crying about it. Get some cash so you aren't relying on plastic cards for everything. You were at the bank and they should have been able to pull money out for you right then. I always have some cash for when cards don't work. That credit card you applied for will be able to pay off when this is back to normal, it's a good choice for now and will help you build credit just don't let it fill up. Get a way to travel by yourself; taxi, city transit such as bus or tram, you might be able to buy punch cards for transit so you arent worried about paying each time.
You are already all the financial support, but he isn't offering any emotional support. Are you just with him because he drives and you are lonely? Is he just with you because you make a lot of money and he's lonely?
I do suggest you be sure before you bring it up.
She's probably using him as a sugar daddy. That's what he gets for going after a child.
OP a good therapist can help you deal with the issues that drove you to choose such a young partner and then stay with them after such behaviour.
You deserve a soft life full of love and a partner who contributes meaningfully to that. Getting a relationship like that will require work on your part. A good therapist can help.
uhhhhhh…what?
Well, I’m a straight woman, so no. I’m not jealous you’re banging her. I feel bad for her that she’s banging you when she could do a lot better.
Yeah she’s your ex for a reason. Stop it. She’s using you for attention when it suits her. Block her number.
The first love isn't as perfect as you imagine him to be, and likewise, this current relationship is still in the honeymoon period and will most likely end within the next 12-18 months.
If you're already daydreaming about this other guy, then you should break up with the current boyfriend as if he hasn't even been able to make you really like him now, then he never will.
Whether your crush is actually a good partner or not is irrelevant, atm you are emotionally cheating on your partner because if you had to choose between him or the other guy you'd definitely choose the other guy, no matter how difficult a decision you claim it would be.
Ok perfectly normal to be upset about being labeled that way. Unfortunately you can't control what others think. Maybe if she socializes with the neighbors and such she might be able to get it to cut down by showing she is the strong independent person you know her to be.
Beyond that you will just have to let it run its course. This is going to be hot because of what they are saying.
But she is right. Stick through it and ignore them After a while it will settle down. As often is the case with new people the gossip mill will tire out and move to the next thing
Beyond that remember most of them are just jealous that you have an awesome wife.
What do I do?
Find some self respect
There is no such thing as shared custody for dogs, but you should also not entertain this demand from Betty Newbie.
citation: Judge Judy.
You put your dick in crazy that’s what you get. At least now you know she’s crazy. She’s acted like this before. If you stay with her get used to it.
Call women’s shelters in your area today. Call the Hotline if you are in the US.
After you have talked to someone about how unsafe you are and his violence towards the dog, work out a plan to get yourself and your daughter out. The day you leave, you call animal protection for Copper.
If you and your daughter escape, he may well turn on the dog. If you get the dog out he may well turn on you or your child. Since Copper isn’t legally your property, you have to get you and your baby out first. You don’t want the record to have you stealing his dog. You need the record to state his abuse towards the dog and your fear he’ll hurt you and your child.
I mean you didnt have to say “its fucking late”
Even as the stay at home partner my job was never to keep it spotless while he did nothing. That is an unreasonable expectation.
I agree with the rest of your comment that his behavior seems abusive, but I disagree that his expectations seem unreasonable. He isn't doing notthing all day. He is working a full-time job and is paying for all of op's bills, her portion of the rent, and all of her expenses. In return, he just expects her to keep their place clean, which takes a lot less time to do than a full-time job, that's a reasonable expectation to have imo.
I just like to make him happy and if this will make him happy I want him to be.
We been together so long, Im trying to be okay with jt
I can never understand why someone would be with someone else this religious when they aren’t on the same level. He definitely won’t have sex with you before marriage or if he does he will blame you for it. Do you really wanna do that? Dump his ass you’re 21 and have so much more to look to out there.
Why don’t you be honest with yourself? You would rather slam your own nuts into your dresser drawer over and over again, than sit home and wait for the girl you love to come home from having her back blown out by some other guy. Stop doing this to yourself.
That's what I'm thinking like if she's shitting on everything he does, his friends, and only pays 30% of their “costs”, she probably doesn't like anything about him and is only there because of he's a meal ticket.
I'd just leave it and try to move on. Go on Tinder and find some dudes to distract you lol This doesn't seem like something to get all worked up about. If there's already a communication issue that's not a good sign
It's annoying, but the court only cares that you were trying, not that they were not. They don't have the responsibility to give you visitation. It's annoying to you, but it'll have no impact on the case.
Yea I agree that the situation is even more problematic since he is not admitting to it. Do you have proof on what happened or is it just this one lady talking about the kiss?
This is not a healthy relationship. Is this really what you want to teach your child? Because she’s learning from you.
Different friend groups have different dynamics, just as each person is different. Personally, I slept with someone in my wife and I's friend group long before wife and I met. Wife is close friends with her now, and while I don't regularly hang out with her, we certainly catch up from time to time. My wife's ex is a close friend of mine who i spend a lot of time with. There's a few people in my circle that I've slept with over the years. All of that said, these were things pretty known when wife and I got together, or at least talked about (albeit awkwardly) at some point early on in our relationship. While this may not be the experience you were familiar with in your friend groups before, it does happen. In short, it is possible.
But right now, you are feeling hurt and a bit deceived. There's probably a part of you curious to be sure it isn't still going on. These are all totally reasonable emotional reactions to finding this out 5 years in. I don't know if your gf lied by omission, or maybe thought it came out, or what. But you feel weird about it, and you guys are going to have to work through that in order to move on.
Here's how I'd approach the conversation with her. “GF, I love you, but we need to have a conversation. I've learned something that has left me feeling a bit deceived. Both of us have had former partners, casual and serious, and I've never had a problem with that. This morning, in talking to XXX, it came up in conversation that you've been intimate with a few people in our friend circle before we met. Again, I am not trying to shame you or make you feel bad for anything you've done with whoever before us. That's totally your business. That said, learning that some of these partners are people that we know and that we both talk to frequently, I feel like that was information you kept from me when we talked about our pasts. I can understand that you may not have wanted to risk our relationship, but I'm now in a position where I feel very very awkward and comfortable, and to be honest, it hot to shake the fact that I feel lied to.
I love you and I care about you. I care about us. I want this to work. Can we talk about this, and try to find some ways to help rebuild some of that trust, and to help work through this tough moment?”
He does not want a house, he has one. He manipulated you into getting rid of all your belongings, he has zero intentions to buy a house with you. He got everything he wants. He’s now manipulating you to make it difficult for you to buy a house without actually saying it to you. Is this really a partner you want for the long term? Your needs and wants will never be a priority.
First of all $35k isn’t a high end car
More to the point if you get into a serious relationship with someone who can’t control their spending and has a massive amount of consumer debt while you’re a saver…it will NEVER EVER EEEEEEVER work longterm
You might not know this relationship is doomed but your brain does, that’s why you’re conflicted
YOU want to get engaged. He clearly does not. You have to make your choices from there, but he clearly values buying cars and shit over proposing.
Buddy…
This is not the kind of relationship you sign up for life long commitment, this is one you run from.
I am a computer engineer myself and have dabbled in some game design… so, I understand the passion behind a project.
However, if she belittles you and shits on your passion… That needs to change pronto.
You two need to have a serious talk… like relationship depends on this type of talk.
We have a kid on the way, and our relationship dynamics should have been solid before that. But we need to fix it as we go. So, lets start building our relationship in a way that we're both happy with.
Sounds like you two missed ALOT of critical relationship building.
You have to confront him. His behavior is bizarre. Who doesn’t speak to their spouse for almost a week? Whether he wants to work through whatever the issue is or he wants to end the relationship he needs to use his words like an adult.
He perfectly knew that I was struggling, we lived together for a year so it shouldn’t be something new for him. I changed a lot and got better comparing to that time but i feel like this goes unnoticed
No I like lol k. That’s actually the move. Or say nothing at all. Trust me on this. There’s no talking your way out of it and no expression of the heart gonna make you feel better in 3 months or a week.
Trust me.
Have some self respect and move on
If he is actively engaged in recovery, practicing the behaviours required for recovery, and showing some improvement I would say no you're not a pushover as long as he accepts whatever boundaries you set. One single overstepping of those boundaries is grounds enough to walk.
If his perception of recovery is just counselling/therapy (i.e. talking) then I'd say yes you are.
Nope – definitely not worth saving a bit of money to stay at his place.
You need to tell your husband that this guy gets the fuck out of his life or you will.
This is a disgusting betrayal on very many levels. You deserve to feel safe and cherished by your partner.
I'd have been gone as soon as I read it.
If they say that you are an attention seeker then so is she if she involves herself into conversations that have nothing to do with her