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Date: December 7, 2022
She may not view it as an assault and whatever you do, do not try to force her into thinking that.
Contrary to what your husband says, I think it would be an emotional relief for you to just get this over with. Call them on speakerphone with DH. Say “We have some exciting news to share, we're expecting a baby in December (or whatever).” They'll say whatever they say. If it's a disappointing response, say “I'm really disappointed in your response, I'm going to have to get off the phone now. Goodbye.” And just hang up. It sounds like your expectations for them are already rock-bottom, so they will likely just confirm that and then the suspense will be over. I think hiding it from them will just keep the emotional turmoil going and put you in the position of having to have a conversation with them about why you did that, and who wants to go down that road.
Congratulations! And that's amazing that you already have great grandparents on the other side of the family. Call them right after you talk to your own folks as a palate cleanser.