Wayward’s are not good partners. They like to think of themselves as good ones. The ones who are the victim “and just had to cheat to have my needs fulfilled”. Sometimes even the ones who “keep their partners happy and fulfilled so what they don’t know doesn’t hurt them”. Past-wayward’s can be if they put in full effort to re-hauling themselves (therapy to find out what is wrong with them and what they can do to make active steps to never cheat again). That’s only if they remain consistent to trying to better themselves and admit what they did was wrong.
He is trying to still talk to you because he likes to feel special. He likes to be the one with a secret. He likes the reassurance you give him by being younger and interested in him. You are (probably) just one of his “dirty secrets”.
This next paragraph is about affair partners who willingly start the affair with a known married person. I know a lot of people like to start with the “well it’s not their (the affair partner’s) marriage” and how that they owe no loyalty to another person (the betrayed partner) for something they didn’t commit to. Well y’know what? I think it’s disappointing to think that way. People have literally so little care for each other that they don’t care about the people they hurt to get what they want. They don’t care about the betrayed partners at home who are unaware. They don’t care that they are making the decision to help a wayward cheat on that betrayed partner. They just don’t care for another person because they are only listening to their selfish wants- which is to feel important. To feel so chosen that a person is breaking their marriage vows for them. It is literally the mentality of “me-me-me-me”. By consenting to be an affair partner- you are giving your energy to be the person the wayward uses to help crush their marriage. Betrayed partners can suffer a lot. Broken views on love and marriage, loss of belief in fidelity. Trust issues that last throughout all of their relationships. Therapy to help them deal with their new acquired issues- usually physically and mentally. Some betrayed partners actually develop ptsd from being cheated on. An affair partners actions (when they know about the marriage) consent to this happening. It is the acknowledgment that they do not care what happens to the betrayed spouse because they only care about what happens to them. For them.
OP- you deserve someone who will put you first and someone you want in your life right now. You deserve someone who will be good to you. You deserve someone who you can trust. You deserve someone who will be available to you, instead of you playing second-fiddle to their spouse at home. You deserve someone who fits your needs right now, and is available to do so. That cheater should be nothing but a image in your rearview mirror- because he surely doesn’t deserve his wife and he doesn’t deserve you.
Do Redditors take a class on how to choose the worst partners?
Uhhh you really want to take him with you to a NEW house??
Girl, get real. He doesn’t give a shit. He’s not someone you want to start a life with.
Everything else in our relationship is perfect, but when it comes to sex, it's not.
OP, the latter part of this sentence negates the former, especially considering the fact she is being rude and condescending toward you regarding it
Wayward’s are not good partners. They like to think of themselves as good ones. The ones who are the victim “and just had to cheat to have my needs fulfilled”. Sometimes even the ones who “keep their partners happy and fulfilled so what they don’t know doesn’t hurt them”. Past-wayward’s can be if they put in full effort to re-hauling themselves (therapy to find out what is wrong with them and what they can do to make active steps to never cheat again). That’s only if they remain consistent to trying to better themselves and admit what they did was wrong.
He is trying to still talk to you because he likes to feel special. He likes to be the one with a secret. He likes the reassurance you give him by being younger and interested in him. You are (probably) just one of his “dirty secrets”.
This next paragraph is about affair partners who willingly start the affair with a known married person. I know a lot of people like to start with the “well it’s not their (the affair partner’s) marriage” and how that they owe no loyalty to another person (the betrayed partner) for something they didn’t commit to. Well y’know what? I think it’s disappointing to think that way. People have literally so little care for each other that they don’t care about the people they hurt to get what they want. They don’t care about the betrayed partners at home who are unaware. They don’t care that they are making the decision to help a wayward cheat on that betrayed partner. They just don’t care for another person because they are only listening to their selfish wants- which is to feel important. To feel so chosen that a person is breaking their marriage vows for them. It is literally the mentality of “me-me-me-me”. By consenting to be an affair partner- you are giving your energy to be the person the wayward uses to help crush their marriage. Betrayed partners can suffer a lot. Broken views on love and marriage, loss of belief in fidelity. Trust issues that last throughout all of their relationships. Therapy to help them deal with their new acquired issues- usually physically and mentally. Some betrayed partners actually develop ptsd from being cheated on. An affair partners actions (when they know about the marriage) consent to this happening. It is the acknowledgment that they do not care what happens to the betrayed spouse because they only care about what happens to them. For them.
OP- you deserve someone who will put you first and someone you want in your life right now. You deserve someone who will be good to you. You deserve someone who you can trust. You deserve someone who will be available to you, instead of you playing second-fiddle to their spouse at home. You deserve someone who fits your needs right now, and is available to do so. That cheater should be nothing but a image in your rearview mirror- because he surely doesn’t deserve his wife and he doesn’t deserve you.
It seems like this relationship had ran its course.