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Date: December 7, 2022
No I wouldn't think it's weird at all. People have a life before their current partner and that life doesn't dissipate into the air just because you're seeing someone new. It's a different story if you still had pictures hung all over your walls, but having them on social media or in a box or something is perfectly fine. I mean I have a friend with pictures from BOTH her weddings on her profile.
Yes please do that, as the “connection” you feel is most likely a trauma bond. And consider therapy, it can help you sort through all the bullshit he’s thrown at you so you don’t get bogged down and as trapped by it. If that’s not an option, check out r/emotionalabuse, as they can often help in that way too. And if you need just a bit of an ego boost, check out r/momforaminute. It can give you warmth and support which often feels in short supply when struggling in an abusive relationship.
What sibling said. You should probably go to therapy first (not counseling) to build up yourself
She is staying only because she feels obligated? That is so messed up. If a friend told me that, I wouldn’t even be thinking about my desires, I’d be trying to help them get out.
Only your name. It is your parents money and gift to you. Your stability will help you have a stable marriage as well. Your fiancé's parents may gift their kid what they wish.
Its not surprising. Counsellors are human too ? its naked to make decision when emotions are taking the lead. At least when you think about yourself first when making decision, you will be more at peace and less resenting on other people.
being not really into it, and being anxious, are two entirely different things. The fact that a guy is anxious and can’t get it up does not mean that he’s not into it. And vice verse.
She's physically abusing you. you need to dump her. And don't be alone with her in a private space again.
Other people have covered the disgusting horror of what you're going through here sufficiently. But I want to add, you've been together 5 months and apparently already live together? And now this happened… I would just run away from this guy.
Yes you might be unhappy, but you suck it up. They are giving him a place to stay and food to eat. He has no rights to complain. He's ungrateful, immature and entitled. And OP should be sticking up for her parents.
Your first responsibility is to your son. You don't let them be with your son anymore without you or your husband there. Full stop. Too bad if they don't like it. You need to find someone else to babysit your son.
I am not very close with anyone at work I have my own group I hang out with outside. But I treat everyone equally like colleagues and try to be friendly always with smile and helpful there might be some misunderstanding maybe somewhere I didn’t pay attention. But I never gave any reasons why would anyone dislike me. Never had any issues with anyone and I think manager likes me professionally.
You need to find and utilise all available resources, and you can’t trust her to tell doctors the truth, you have to go with her into appointments. Keep a diary or all her delusions, how agitated she is (0-10), and how long they last. I don’t understand having someone in a full mental health crisis and driving away with a pamphlet. She’s going to think that the doctors are working with whoever, and the electronics are spying on her, of course she’s not going to tell them the truth. I’m so sorry you are going through this, and I’m disappointed in your girlfriend. This can happen to anyone, you’ve been great, but you need to access resources asap. Speak to a schizophrenia charity, they will be able to guide you.
So why do you have the audacity to complain when he is paying YOUR rent. You want him to work himself to death? The guy literally has no free time! (assuming he works 5 days a week). My worry is that you are going to betray him once you finish school… Why are you writing posts like these?
Or you could be a dad and an adult and just watch the game when you have free time
RUN!!!!!!!! You are way to young to pay for someone else’s bad choices, PERIOD! Move out and move on asap!!!
Many years ago I told my gf (now wife) it either stopped or our relationship was over, it is insulting and disrespectful and she was so stunned she talked to other people who all agreed with me, she did get it under control most of the time unless she's very tired but now my daughter has started so I get to be the stern parent about it too. Good luck OP ??
Just disappear without a word and she’ll go crazy
Full brain development doesn't happen until 25. I'm 39 now, and there is a very clear dividing line in my life that happened when I was 26/27. Was very much like your wife, wanting to go out every night, not a lot of concern for the future. Seemingly overnight my priorities changed to my career, building my future, generally just getting better at understanding consequences. I'm not judging the age gap at all, but this is somewhat expected behavior for her age, but obviously not for your age. It's something you're going to likely have to deal with for a couple years until she ages out of it.
Prepare yourself for him today choose his daughter.
And hey, alarms have been invented, too.
Hey! I don't want to say this in open for privacy reasons, but I have been in your wife's shoes. The set was exactly the same as you described, with some underlying problems.
Hub's friend and I enjoyed the romance for some months, bff supported me through some tough times that hub couldn't help me with. After that we just respectfully withdrew.
Nothing was ever weird, nobody lost friends or family. No drama. My feelings for husband never changed. I was never less attracted to hub.
I figured I'll share this, because I'm sure you'll get bombarded by terrible comments. In reality, sometimes it just works.
What does she think about when she’s masturbating? Only you and nothing but? Or like me, does Alexander Skarsgard stop by? Does that mean she’s not content with your body? I doubt you’re an exclusive part to all of her sexual fantasies.
What is his diet like? Does he eat a lot of gassy foods, like beans cauliflower, broccoli, etc? For some people peppers, garlic, and other foods make them gassy. He could also have intolerances to different foods.
If I where you, I would stay well away from this situation. I would not take mom in or provide any financial help at all. She had the means to help herself. It's not your problem if she refuses to use them.
Thank you u/Raibean
Seems like bringing your thoughts into text helped you make up your mind
There's nothing wrong with him feeling a sense of renewal after a breakup. Maybe he's trying to think of the positives and have a good mindset about it.
He blocked you because you're trying to gatekeep the breakup. Why ask him about his posts? He probably doesn't want feel like he has to censor what he posts.
Because he's being weird about you going to his. Have you had a date? Gone out together anywhere? Has he taken you out?
The ONLY explanation I would accept is if he offered the explanation that he downloaded a massive file all in one go that was assorted and only then if he could show the original zip file.
Short of that I'd walk. He can go to therapy single and check to see if I am still single too in a year.
Sex is part of many relationships. For me, it would be a dealbreaker. Only you know in your heart what is best for you.
100%. I'd WAY rather my partner cheated on me over jeopardizing our financial situation!
That has a very easy fix, you dump him and move on!
I'm glad to hear that. I hope you get out of this relationship. He is not going to get better.
I put his age in wrong. He is 30 and it was college
Yep. He basically said “my girlfriend won’t let me go because she doesn’t like MJ”
You block him on everything and remind yourself this man doesn't care about your wellbeing. In fact he fights against taking steps to protect you.
You also remind yourself that if he had condoms and wasn't using them with you, he was using them somebody/somebodies.
Then you find things you enjoy to keep busy with.
It doesn’t sound like you want to be in an open relationship. It sounds like this relationship isn’t right for you and you want to be single.
I mean, be realistic. You are going to make use of the open relationship much more than he is.
Lol, sounds like you already told him no and it didnt go over well? Maybe set expectations if you haven't already on how to split dates and trips, and costs if you live together. Continue to save for a house, that is a great priority, don't put him on the deed.