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I would talk to your dad without Laura there (and your mum next to you for support).
Tell him why it makes you upset and that it IS replacing you whether he realises it or not. That he wasn’t there for you when you were a child and yet now he’s having a girl, he’ll name her lily and be there for lily from day dot.
Ask him what he’s going to call you? Ask him if he names this child lily, then he’s disrespecting you and you will go NC with him.
It’s an ultimatum and you don’t like ultimatums but it makes you so sad and hurt that he’s done this.
Well, what is it you want from this exchange?
Why are you feeling paranoid, what exactly do you think she's doing? Does this result in you feeling manipulated somehow?
I personally wouldn't say the way she's doing this is problematic. It seems like she isn't the type to be assertive enough to be direct, OR she doesn't want to just come in and boss you around. It sounds like her “probing questions” are designed to understand your thinking before she requests her own idea.
Some people just communicate differently. I can see why this might be frustrating for you when you'd rather take a direct approach, but it sounds like that just doesn't come naturally to her. It isnt really fair to ask her to change her style, especially when you aren't making very much of an effort to be compassionate in understanding her.
Same!