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Model from:
Languages: zh
Birth Date: 2004-02-04
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityAsian
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureRomantic
Date: January 5, 2023
Holy CRAP, does that relationship stuff sound familiar to me.
First things first: you are not the only one whose discovered she's bi after believe she's a lesbian. This has been the expert for at least two of my friends. The time you spent identifying as a lesbian was not a waste or fake, it's just what fit at the time. It may be worth consider why (what sounds like) being bi does not give you confident the same way lesbian does, but that doesn't have to revolve around this guy.
Anyway, I was into this person – I also looked around for them in lectures, deja vu, huh? – and five or so months later, after a few weeks of us hanging out one-on-one, I bit the bullet and told them I liked them. Success, we got into a relationship… and that was honestly the high point.
They said I love you the very next day (which made me giddy at the time, but I realise it was probably a mixture of awkwardness, nerve and wanting reassurance of affection), and despite me wanting some time to figure out the relationship, I gave into their suggestions that we tell our friends. I genuinely think that had we not told our friends, I'd have broken up with them sooner.
I'm not sure what intrusive thoughts you're referring to (and you don't have to say if you don't want to) but I had intense thoughts about them cheating on me with another of our friends (who others agreed they could be into, VINDICATION) or lashing out at them, just so we could break up. When we were on holiday, I only called them twice and the conversation was so dull (admittedly I wasn't putting in any effort, I only really called out of obligation, because I'd already wanted to break up at that point but wanted to see what happened when we got back from holiday). There was other stuff they did that I don't really want to get into here but I think I've gone on enough.
If you feel you can't talk to him about these things without him deflecting and not changing, it really is best that you rip off the band-aid and break up. It doesn't matter if he's 'good', it doesn't sound like he's good for you.