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Spit boobs [Multi Goal]
Date: October 22, 2022
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Maybe he should judge you on the dumb things you did and thought when you were young. He told you himself he's not racist anymore and that he's grown up a lot. You had no idea about this until his old school friend told you. OP sounds very immature.
Exactly! My ex was like this. I would get accused of cheating nearly every day. Turns out he was the one cheating on me.
In most jurisdictions, this behavior would be considered harassment and is, in fact, illegal. In this context, going to law enforcement would be step 1 towards getting a no-contact order/restraining order.
! Reminder !
Past traumas doesn't give you a pass to be a little bitch.
! Reminder Ended !
Relationship of a few months?
girl, its not even worth the energy u are about to invest. lmao
Its not going to stop and not much u can do to make her respect ur relationship. also…. why does she have to respect ur relationship? have u earned her trust and respect?
the last thing I want to be is a cruel stepmother,
To confirm, u are the gf of a few months.
Hes moving quickly because u are young and impressionable, and he wants u to mother his kids. “You would be a great role model” Girl does he want u or a full time nanny?
just move on. u are only 23, find someone else. This is going to be a full on ass years to come battle.
Also if you are getting any other drugs or medication check the interactions with alcohol, some medication increase the effects of alchohol.
Also, to everyone with questions about what your girl’s “best friend” is really all about…
OP, you emotionally cheated on your husband. How can you be so dumb and not see the difference? You're the wrong one here.
If you'd really like him you wouldn't have lied to him. You would have been honest. And I don't think that there is anything to make him talk to you. Give him space and if he wants to, he'll reach out.
Not how life works. If you can't accept her as she is then don't be around her. As it stands you're acting like a spoilt controlling child.
This! I'm a mom and when I was dating a few years ago, I could never go 6 months without having to cancel dates or arrange to meet later because of babysitting issues or kids falling ill.
In the best sense he’s being playful and you shouldn’t be self conscious.
In the worst sense he’s trying to damage your confidence and you shouldn’t be self conscious.
Try being witty and firing back, if you take these seriously you’re hurting yourself.
This is the stupidest shit I’ve read on the internet today. The fuck?
Gain trust back by having real conversations with your bf. And not nasty, angry fights but rather calm, rational and RESPECTFUL conversations where you express yourself and listen to him as well.
You seem to be going to everyone except your bf about this, including hundreds of strangers on Reddit now. And yes, in the future it is none of your friends’ business, especially one who you knew had a crush on you. That was silly.
I don't think most of these comments are helpful. You can't physically do anything to your sister, but legally you can file charges. And yes, get your dog into a safe place. He will come around once he knows he's safe again. It's nude to have a dog in an apartment and as a student, but he needs you to remove him from that home for his physical and mental health.
We let my brother in law watch our dogs overnight once three years ago, and one of my dogs still growls at him when he comes around. I don't know what happened, but he won't watch them again. You just have to listen to your dog sometimes.
This is why the first date should always be low stakes. Just drinks. I met my wife for coffee on our first date. Just get drinks, you can pay for the first date since it’s truly not a big deal, and honestly just insist on paying for the first one. As for the subsequent dates, you guys can figure it out.
Low money means low stakes means low pressure. That way, you’re not putting on some show of wealth or status or whatever, and she doesn’t feel compelled to pay you back. You can both just figure out if you like each other without all that bullshit that comes with some grand display. Plus, small amounts of alcohol can help with nerves on both ends as a fringe benefit.
I believe there is no motivation, only discipline and energy. I was disciplined when i met her so i dont think this is because of her. It is just who i am. She changed me, she made me a project of hers that she finished. And the thing is she left me. Im continuing where i left of before i met her. The thing she gave me is the pain that i transfered into energy because energy cant be destroyed it can only be converted into something. And in my case it will be converted into discipline.
I dont plan on pulling girls on my position/money. I think i will attract based on my confidence and hey, i know what the red flags are now. The first red flag a girl shows im out. And also when i meet the girls mother if she is a biach im leaving instantly. Honestly i started a new chapter of my life and i needed this so the chapter could begin. And im grateful for that.
And as i said the guy who loved her is dead. Non existent.
I already know she will regret it. And when she messages me il reply here with the screenshot or with the exact text and the thing is its already too late for any forgivness from my side. But until then see you bro, u really helped me through this.
Chapter 2023 : The Comeback.
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I would be so disappointed and disgusted every time I looked at him. It would take me a long time to get past the mental image of him and the stripper. Its also about trust, he broke her trust, no matter how much you love some one, once that’s gone, it’s nude to get it back. What kind of life, and marriage can you really have once that’s gone, or damaged?I would be wondering what else he has lied about.
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It's time to get out. The rush to commitment is usually one of the signs of an abusive relationship. So are crossing boundaries and silent treatment.
You aren't trapped, call a DV hotline, reach out to friends, you can get your life back.
Not wanting to pay for transitions is different than being ‘transphobic’ i have a couple homies that I chill with that are trans. You’re a typical Reddit idiot leave me alone lol
Best of luck to you queen ?
Wow is someone watching my life? This sounds like exactly what my life was like last year. I broke up with my far-right boyfriend and watched him spiral into political madness at 6x the pace afterwards. Reassured me I made the right decision. Anyway,
I’m here to tell you luv: it’s probably not a healthy relationship outside of political beliefs. If he has limited respect for people not like him, odds are he has limited respect for you.
Heck, it’s even evident in the post, when he steamrolls your arguments because he believes his priorities and politics are more important than your safety.
Breakups SUCK but you will be much better off without him. Post-breakup you might realize you’ve been muffling your opinion and feelings because you didn’t want to fight about it, and being single means you’re free to be yourself again.
I wish you all the luck
You can’t be friends with married men. Full stop. Back off.
American here, ive made lasting friends through work actually
Based on your comments so far…. Honestly. You don’t seem compatible. You made her sound psycho in your post but your comments make it seem like your parents are just nos. This has been going on for years and you aren’t moving forward in your relationship at all or working how your issues.
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I can see how frustrating it must be if one's partner doesn't set healthy boundaries with their family and can put their foot down.
But is his sister's behaviour really the hill you want to die on? So she didn't say much or get you a gift…. is that really such a huge issue?
True. I guess it says something that I didn’t feel comfortable doing this with him.
What on earth could be wrong with sharing your life experiences? We’re you hostile? Did you attack her? I might be missing something here but when people open up to me about their hurtful experiences I feel honored that they trust me enough to share, so this seems super strange to me.
All I can guess is that she’s like my mom, and is a bit racist, and won’t admit it so she feels guilty when confronted with it. So then she tends to lash out and dig her heels in and punish other people. Obviously I don’t know your MIL but yeah, her response seems weird and I really don’t think you did anything wrong.
I also want to apologize about the racism you’ve undoubtedly been met with over your lifetime. You do not deserve it, you are valuable, you are important, you are loved.
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I appreciate your response but do you really think that being with someone for over a year is “relatively new”? I get where triple dialing can be a weird move, but we always joked about how code for “really need to talk” was double dialing (and he would do it to me, too, so we weren't just joking about me doing it). And I did it because he'd been dodging me for over three months at that point (I hadn't even double dialed him in that time), and was just responding with generic “can't talk” text responses.
I do think a card is a good move, though.. Snail mail gives them time to think about how and whether they want to respond…. Not that I'm expecting anything, maybe just more of an explanation than I got..
No, dude, you don't actually fully realise the situation.
You are “lucky” that she did not call the cops to report your ass that physically assaulted her. You are “lucky” that she didn't file a restraining order.
The fact that she's yet to cut you off from her life is a miracle.
Don't you dare think that you can come to Reddit to bitch and moan about how you love her to gain some sympathy.
You're a criminal. Enjoy it.
Walk away.
If they are your best friends, and you love them like you say you do, your focus should be about what is best for them – not what you want. You are the one that threw the hand grenade, develop some class and back away gracefully before causing any more damage. If you keep going the way you are, it won't be long until your story becomes a Lifetime channel movie of the week. Use time and distance to heal yourself.
Please read the other replies. I’m going to edit this post since people are reading this the wrong way.
You aren't the person asking for advice my dude. You said it's about respecting your partner and I just don't see how my initial comment doesn't accomplish that.
Im gonna be real dude it seems like there is something missing from the post or from your girlfriends story about why she can't handle a dog. Her saying she cant do it again implies that something may have happened to her with a dog she hasnt told you yet or you left out of the post.
Also ita kind of a jerk move to suddenly bring an animal home when you live with someone else WITHOUT their knowledge or agreeing to it.
I understand wanting a dog but its not fair to your girlfriend or anyone you online with in the future to just bring a pet into THEIR lives when they dont want or know about it.
As a fellow animal lover i totally get wanting to help a dog who has been at the shelter for so long. Im the exact same way with cats.
Thats why for me it is a relationship dealbreaker no matter how much I love the person of they cant on-line with cats. This may be a case of it being the dog or your gf.
Thanks for the wise insight yellow, this was a huge help!!!
Together for 5 months and talking about moving in together? You barely know each other. Therapy at 5 months?? No call it quits. And next time try not to fall so nude and so fast. The truth is I have condiments in my fridge older than your relationship. You only really start to know someone at the 6m-1year+ mark. And even then you don’t know them super well.
This is a sad post.
It seems to me that not only does she lack sexual attraction, she simply doesn't love you. Getting married was a big mistake for both of you.
You cannot change anyone's mind about something so deep as emotional commitment, let alone sexual compatibility. Please accept this truth and hasten a divorce on decent terms, which may be a lot less expensive for both of you. Don't fight it and spread misery.
You both are plenty young and should be able to find people who meet your needs more fully.
What is a digital nomad?
It's actually two big, all-encompassing areas that are problems: pulling his weight as a partner, and your sex life. When those two things aren't going well, there's really not much left. You more or less like being around him, that's what this relationship is built on.
An ultimatum is possible, but you need to be committed to it being a forever thing, otherwise he'll just shape up for a few months and stop again. But honestly, I think breaking up is your best option. You don't have a partner.
Thats not necessarily true, people sometimes overthink things. For instance, he has problems with the frequency of sex, has he talked to her? Has she denied seeing a doctor to try and see if the issue can be addressed? If he has not communicated and is just constructing the doom and gloom scenario, it's Classic overthinking, you solve problems by adressing them.
Masks are useless.
I just saw your response on what you decided to do. If your plans and having a child has changed even though you've made the decision that it's not the right environment I would talk about your future with a therapist.
Will he have an office? Maybe a nice picture to hang. Or something cool for his desk. An ember mug or travel mug to keep coffee nude. If he takes his lunch a nice lunch box. A nice bottle of alcohol if he drinks (for home of course lol). Nice shoes. A watch. A laptop bag
You have been dating for six months.
Why are you living with him???????????????????
Maybe SHE needs to also put in some work and not be mentally abusive.
Oh I was assuming the viagra was a friends. So like the friend offered for him to try it. I don’t see if it’s prescribed to him or not.
But regardless if he already cheated before I don’t know why OP is bothering to stick around or even try to determine if he cheated this time.
Sounds like good and balances advice to me, thank you. I think I will point out that opening anything up is not going to be an option for me, and most likely never will be. If she wants to work on out relationship to try and address her needs more we can do that, if she wants to be with other people she can do that without me.
That text was nowhere near clear enough. It doesn't sound like you are upset at all, and that is the problem. If he doesn't know you are upset he can't make it up to you.
This reminds me a lot of a situation I had with an old gf. She kept much of her thoughts/feeling bottled up and they kept building and building until one day she ended it because the stress was too much for her.
She was very non-confrontational and thought that addressing the issues in our relationship would bring it close to ending. But the thing is, you have to be able to talk openly about maintaining the relationship. If the love language thing and vacation thing are really important to you, then make it clear to your bf.
You don't have to frame it as “if you don't fix this we are breaking up” but more of a “these are things that I need to change for me to be happy.”
Similarly, you can encourage him to do the same thing with you. It sounds like he's keeping a few of his thoughts to himself as well. Perhaps it would work if you each made a “Maintenance List,” to showcase what needs to be upkept, in much the same way that you'd write out “mow the lawn” or “clean the gutters.”
Make it non-judgmental but also firmly state your needs.
My experience as a young woman, in the alt scene for 11 years now – either m/w ; we all get fetishized alot ; there were so many dudes who thaught “I always wanted some experience with a punk girl” would be a nice compliment.
Many guys experience the same. We're whole ass people, not some 'nice to have' accessoire -.your post honestly rubs me the wrong way.
As far as I can tell from your post: You did nothing wrong and you did nothing to deserve this kind of treatment. I am sorry he treats you like that.
You are paying for everything, right? Or does he have a new job at this point? He said he feels “pressured” to be in a relationship with you. There is no actual pressure, he could break up with you. But: You pay his living expenses! (At least, that is how I read your description?) My guess would be that the only reason he didn't use the actual words: “I want to break up with you.” is because of what you provide for him. He sounds completely uninterested in the relationship and you. And it sounds as if he has already moved on and started looking around for a new girlfriend (/affair partner). At least that's what I would assume after reading his behaviour around his female friends.
I think you should try to accept that this relationship is over. Break up with him, since he treats you badly and doesn't want to be with you. Take care of yourself and put your happiness first. And when you feel ready, go and find a person who actually likes you and who actually wants to be in a relationship with you.
Better to learn this about him sooner rather than later. Sounds like the wrong person to have with you when shit hits the fan.
Any shoot like that I would do with professional studio with a female photographer. None would be fully nude.
Break up and lawyer up about the house.
How do you know if your relationship is still worth fighting for?
Couldn't tell you off of one sentence.
If you won't dump the bf at least re-home the dog. The pup deserves owners who love and protect him and you're clearly not able to provide that.
how immature .
why didn’t you get your own place .. and your own splotch of sauce …. like wtf .. grow up .
Hey mods! can we get a flag when the OP isn't serious at all and just wants to come on here and argue?
it would save a lot of time not giving a crap about these people if I know right off the bat they aren't serious
10 year age gap. 2 months and he’s already hitting you. Yea that’s why he picked a young woman instead of someone his age.
And no this isn’t bdsm. Bdsm has strict rules and CONSENT from all parties. He’s just an abusive AH
Yes I know, that's why I'm seeking advice on how to do that safely without risking their wellbeing.
Glad you found out before you got married or even have a kids with this disgusting person. I feel so sorry and I really lose hope when it comes to humanity 🙁
I’ll also say this. Many people expect the partner they meet to check all the boxes. They also think that all their minimum requirements is a low bar when in fact there are very few individuals who can and will meet that bar. I think social media and movies/shows have warped our view of relationships. People see shows and go “I want a relationship like that! That’s what I expect! Every day to be swept off my feet and that we never fight!”
Except that’s not realistic. Everyone has baggage. If people set their expectations at perfection then they will always be disappointed. Soon after disappointment comes resentment. Then contempt.
As this person noted, none of this is a ridiculous ask, but it could be. There’s a lot of grey area where that bar could be very high or very reasonable. It’s also up to OP to decide how much tolerance and patience does she have for when the bar is not met. Because the bar will never 100% always be met. There will be bad days.
Honestly OP you did nothing wrong.
OP said that before this laundry was a shared chore. OP then made a unilateral change to the status quo without discussing. That’s definitely not “nothing wrong”.
I make dinner most nights because I get home before my wife. If my wife came home and I was eating but there was no food for her I would expect her to be upset. I would done something wrong by unilaterally deciding that we will each cook our own food from now on.
Of course the yelling and punching reaction was completely inappropriate and unacceptable but OP definitely did something that would annoy me in my relationship.
This is a massive incompatibility, just end it and move on
I would move on. Block him. Sounds fishy.
Take the trip , you don't want her drama , fuck her
I've got trust issues because of my past. I also know that they are MY issues, so I go to therapy, and I talk to my bf if something makes me feel insecure.
What I don't do is make him change his behaviour, control who his friends are, or go through his private stuff.
Your gf is bleeding all over the person who didn't cause the wounds. You don't deserve that.
That should be something discussed at the beginning of the relationship.But sometimes that gets discussed in still happens all I can say is it sucks,but to each their own.Not my style for sure lol…