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Make me crazy feel [1000 tokens remaining]
Date: November 4, 2022
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That's grooming .. if not I don't know what is. DISGUSTING FOR A 27 YEAR OLD TALKING TO A MINOR
you are being used brother!
It would be best if you had a marriage counselor. Your husband may have some dark past related to his parents (cheating father or mom?)
why are you dating him? he’s disgusting lol
Personally I wouldn’t be happy if my Highschool girlfriend went to a Prom with someone else. Especially if there’s already concerns of how the friend is behaving towards her.
This all comes down to trust. If this guy tried to “make a move” or a confess some deep feelings, Would you trust your girlfriend to make the right decision?
If the answer is no then there’s more to this.
What are you gonna do, wait until you have a serious medical issue where you need to be hospitalized or something like cancer and then be all shocked when he magically is still pretending to be sick or flat out just not helping you? This is a more serious issue than you're willing to face apparently because you're “happy” otherwise, even though your partner can't even do the damn basics of being a human being.
With a household of 6 children, your wife is stressed out and most likely resentful, she has been taking your kids since you got together.. why isn’t your wife taking care of them..
You can't accelerate healing. She is being insensitive and unrealistic. Your depression is this bad and you're planning on a wedding (massive stress) next year and a baby in 3 years. You are planning for creating another person with this woman you barely know. I can't imagine this situation is helping you heal. If she wants to be able to order marriage and kids like options on a fast food menu, it's probably better she finds someone with fewer obstacles
I wouldn’t have married if she wanted children. That’s her right to want kids and it’s my right to not want more wouldn’t it make sense if she had just said she wanted kids we wouldn’t have dealt with this.
Honestly your big mistake was begging. If the video wasn’t a big deal, you should have treated it as not a big deal by saying “yeah, I’m going to tell [name] not to mess around with me like that. He’s probably a bit too touchy. Anyway, are we going to talk about our fight?”
But yeah, the optics aren’t great. I’d be very upset if I was arguing with my boyfriend, it went unresolved and a few hours later I caught him in a flirty position with another woman. The ship between you has probably sailed.
I think you may have figured out why he’s divorced: he’s toxic. It may be time for you to rethink if you want to stay with him if he’s going to be this disrespectful.
Girl. What the fuck even is this relationship?
That’s not true. I get cold sores from time to time but my husband doesn’t/has never had them because when I DO have an outbreak I make sure not to kiss him or share any foods or drinks. It’s only contagious when you have an active cold sore
The info provided really presents a mixed picture. No conclusions can be safely drawn.
Communication and keeping connected = key
When you had enough. pack your bags, and pull the plug when he's winning.
Considering she is supportive of the LBGT community, I think she would enjoy a good discussion about this. It could bring you two closer.
It won't be best for you.
You've developed an identity that has put you in his shadow.
This was not your choice. It is not your fault.
Now is when you get to choose for yourself.
Do you choose you, when others won't, or will you continue to tell yourself that you matter less?
This is a pivotal moment that will shape the rest of your life.
I'm not talking about a graduation ceremony versus a wedding.
I'm talking about you recognising that you matter. You are important. You have worth. You are amazing.
Imagine yourself the day after.
Do you want to be the version of you who advocated for yourself celebrated your success and put yourself first?
Or do you want to be the version of you who represents the failures of your parents who wouldn't love you equally, or prioritise you, or make you feel special?
Doing anything for the first time is scary. The unfamiliar can be overwhelming.
But you should face those fears and do it anyway.
Congratulations on your achievement. Your future patients are in amazing hands.
Also, FWIW, my parents didn't show me attention, affection or love… but my friends did. That's what got me out of rock bottom. Anyone celebrating with you at the ceremony won't be pitying you. They are doing what your parents won't. They are making you feel special. Hold on to that. And hold your head high.
How did you not think to add her while you guys were dating? That’s so odd to me.
Good job.
Sounds like an idiot. Whatever you do, don’t take him back.
you’re not funny. hope this helps ?
Honestly I don't. I do believe she is being truthful on the count
It would not bother me. You worry too much.
If it’s just a casual thing and you’re having fun I don’t see too much of a problem.
That kinda gap is borderline and ripe for manipulation though, so be careful
There was a way he could have handled the reality he used that tiktok to choose the gifts. Gaslighting you about it wasn't it. I think the gift and this issue are different things, because I have sympathy for him trying to pick a gift and feeling bad about it then finding a guide and hoping it magically would solve the problem… well meaning but entirely naive. But to lie to your face and then worse, imply his own sister is a bad influence? Like that shows just how far he will go to hide his sheepishness and that is a huge worry.
Shift the focus away from the gift. He used a guide, so what. That is what people that are shit at giving gifts do. You could work together on showing him how you pick gifts and he can learn that skill, it's just a matter of observation and empathy. I think you went in on him a bit hot, though I appreciate part of that is that he completely oversold what he got you.
The focus instead is on the lie and then the attempt to isolate/alienate you from his sister. Those things are gross. Oh, and then he got on your case about expecting new gifts but you say it yourself, you expect some thought and you expect him not to lie. When you caught him off guard he demonstrated he has a lot of very negative defence mechanisms.
The rapist is the bf's father. He was the step father to the older sister he raped.
Unfortunately when you first get into the workforce you often work shitty jobs for low pay with incompetent companies if you don’t have the experience and leverage to get into something better.
My concern with the situation as you laid it out is that he is taking care of himself, working his job (which is critical as it’s the only source of income for both of you) and having to support your mental health which is conflicting with his work responsibilities.
When he is working from home, he is not available to drop things because you’re having a bad day, he is working and you need to figure it out whether that means having a bigger personal support network or getting professional support, do that.
As soon as he’s able, he should try to get a different job that has better work life balance, but until he gets a new job holding this one is critical for both of you to survive.
His job often makes it difficult for him to he here as often as I need him emotionally
Are you his partner or his dependent? He’s working a hybrid job and you gave no indication of him needing to travel overnight.
How are you overwhelmed from his job when he has the capcity to work it and also take care of you?
It very much sounds like he’s carrying a ton more weight in the relationship, and you not being able to handle yourself while he needs to work to support you both financially is unsustainable.