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♥, Hey! Lets have some fun together, It’s been a while don’t you think? ♥ GOAL: Ballgag on and fingering [Multi Goal]
Date: October 23, 2022
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Leave the sabotager. He doesn't respect your sexual autonomy & is willing to expose you to pregnancy or STIs for his own pleasure.
Well, you don't put it bluntly. You do it gently but direct.
You sit him down and go.
Hey, I am really happy we reconnected. This is our third time trying to make this reletionship work. And if I am here, its because I really want it to work with you. I am willing to put in the effort.
But I need to address things that created complications previously. If we can't find understanding on these things holding us back, we simply will not work out. That's just the reality.
I rather be honest with how I feel so we can have a chance for success this time around. This is our last shot at this, and I want to do our best to do it right.
During our time apart, I reflected on aspects that made me feel friction in our reletionship. When my life was more open, I realized how much I missed my friends and how much I actually value them in my day-to-day life.
Now, my friction was because I felt I had to sacrifice parts of my life in order to maintain you. Our connection was beginning to feel like a job instead of a reletionship. I don't want to sacrifice the things that make me happy just so I can ensure you are. So, I found that you were almost too dependent on me.
While I do love and appreciate you. And I want to you to always be happy. I don't want to be forced to give up my things in order to serve you. That is not fair to me.
This time around, I would love for you to develop more of a life for yourself so you don't rely on me always. I want that peace of mind this time.
And it hurts me to be direct about this, but this is a hole in our reletionship that we need to plug. I don't want to feel suffocated anymore.
This creates distance for us…. I want to close our distance and we need to correct this.
Do you think this is something you can work on? I am willing to help you improve these things. Maybe we can go do things together and try to get you to meet people. We can find hobbies for you to work on that I will fully support. What about a sports team?
Please don't take this in an insulting way. I am only saying this because I want our reletionship to work but I this created problems in the past. We cannot repeat our same mistakes.
Something like that.
PPD can also come out in anger. Good on you for doing as much as you are !
exactly. it's like he wants her to do housechores 40 hours a week on top of looking after their kids bcos apparently to him, it's very easy and it's just like hanging out with them
Stop keeping tabs on a piece of shit and focus on your girlfriend.
At the very least, let's hope you can be good parents while being divorced
The hormones are definitely playing a part in her insecurities, but I think it’s important to let her know you hear her. Tell her in no uncertain circumstances what you want or don’t want out of your relationship. Do you want to get back together right now? Is there potential in the future? Do you plan to date/sleep with anyone in the near future? Do you plan to act like you’re single?
She probably wants definition to help her feel more secure about her current situation. Whatever you feel, though, despite what she wants, I would say it’s best to be extremely honest.
Find some self respect and drop the child.
No one deserves to have to parent their partner and this kid isn’t going to change.
Nah dude this is fake
Yeah i muted the bff. My ex i made my account private so she cant add me anymore. Tbh they can try play me or whatever but she in fact broke up with me. It weren’t my fault so its her loss
Congrats on your future baby
Tell her to get a job. That way her needs are being met and she’s contributing financially. Sounds like a great solution.
Don’t involve random internet strangers or family members in this discussion and decision making. This is between you and your husband and neither of you need extra opinions muddling the situation. The two of you decide what is the best choice , and since the two of you are on completely different pages someone is going to be unhappy with the decision.
Don’t involve random internet strangers or family members in this discussion and decision making. This is between you and your husband and neither of you need extra opinions muddling the situation. The two of you decide what is the best choice , and since the two of you are on completely different pages someone is going to be unhappy with the decision.
I don't understand how people are confused with these no-brainers. You either want to be with a cheater or not. There's no such thing as “pressured into sex”. It's a made up thing women say to excuse their cheating and somehow make it sound less like it was their choice.
I'm sure I saw this on 'Tales of the Unexpected' in the 80's…
Stop being around. Problem solved.
Do you live together?
12 years is a long time to date and not get married.
I think the longer you date the harder it becomes to keep separate finances without issues like you describe popping up. Then again, most people don’t feel comfortable merging finances until after marriage. That puts you in weird limbo of navigating money and a romantic relationship that leaves both of you open to feeling unappreciated or taken for granted.
This guy is abusive. You’re being verbally, emotionally, psychologically and physically (throwing stuff at you) abused. Honestly can’t fucking believe the people saying you deserve this because “he left his family for you”. I’m pretty sure the abuse started way back when you met. This type of abuse creates what’s called a “trauma bond” between the abuser and the victim, which is why victims don’t leave and it’s so difficult to see that they’re being abused. Please seek help and leave him asap.
OP sounds narcissistic
I'm not your mom but as a mom I'm gonna tell you what id tell my daughter's GET THE FUCK OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP NOW
Thank you.
I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Sounds tough. In my case, my mom thinks very positively of him and will continue thinking that way, no matter what I tell her, so I’m not sure what to do in this case.
i feel like things have just recently gone down hill and this is his way or trying to make me leave which i’ll admit i am attached i’ve been with him since i was 18. but why is he saying that to me? is it something i did to provoke him to start saying this ?
You need to make it clear that you will not support her is she’s a SAHM. Let her know that the only way this relationship can continue will be to see major changes from her. If not you will support your child and you can coparent. Do not think you have to support her because she’s pregnant. Help her yes support no.
Do you have a question?
I wonder if the girlfriend thinks that nurses and HCAs sexualise their patients
Ugh yeah I’m kinda bummed.. makes sense that he wouldn’t necessarily want a relationship w/ me even after I change my mind. Oh well, at least I had a good time ??♀️
i dont have fb, could try to create account and contact her
Weird. Tell him he is being weird.
This! It sounds like you have very different communication needs and togetherness vs. space needs that are pretty misaligned. This is not a situation where compromise would be fulfilling for either one of you. Couple that with the already difficult scenario of a LDR.
If this relationship is not meeting your needs and your BFs needs are completely different, it may be time to part ways.
Did you not read the post??
My boyfriend (who knows about my history) was walking right beside me when it happened and saw the whole thing – yet he didn't do anything to protect me, defend me or call the guy who did it out on it. Now my boyfriend is around 6'1 or 6'2 and quite muscular, like going to the gym 6 times a week for the past 5 years muscular, so he looks quite intimidating.
Because of the way he looks and because he's told me multiple times that I don't have to be afraid of others because he would protect me, I expected him to stay true to his promises (which he made a lot of) and defend me. But he didn't do anything.
i guess she's scared to live with me. i dont see why its a big deal if we break up when we are living together. and this whole soul mates thing sucks like why does it matter if we aren't? we love each other right now and thats all that should matter right?
I mean, his mom did that to him so how could he know to behave any different? His mom is lacking emotional intelligence so is he because he didn't have where to learn to manage it right. If you wanna try you could suggest therapy for that simply because his life Is gonna be miserable that way but if he doesn't have the capacity for change you should leave.
Tell him you don’t want him to do that, to block her etc. It’s worth a try. Breaking up is always an option if it fails – but then you’ll have a reason.
(Also apologies for comment editing but sometimes I post before I’m done thinking)
Good reply!
Great insight. Thank you.
That is nicer then I would have been.
You did right thing handle it right But Now you need talk to him,,I d make it clear he is not to use the photos what he says means nothing its what she signed that counts,
Yes
Due to his admission that he has a tendency hide and specifically exclude people in his family I feel like it is very possible that this is not the first example.
Who sends porn to their friends? That would weird me the fuck out too. I’ve seen my boyfriend’s group chats and they’re mostly nerdy memes and arguments about sports. It is so bizarre to me how normalized it is for dudes to just be creepy horndogs publicly at all times.
Did you or your mum get COVID after his escapade?
Jealousy (for not being included in your husband's friends and activities) becomes a disease. It grows and festers into an ugly monster. We are never taught to rein it in. But it hurts you more than anyone else.
If you trust your husband, you need to leave it there.
Good luck.
Dude, if there's any delivery service, trust me, your government made sure to assign a specific number/placement to your house.
If you don't know it – just say it, stop dancing around with “I know my own address”.
It sure sounds like you do not, you just know where you live.
This request is not respectful to you
OR THE CHILDREN
do it. if these things matter more to you than being with him.
do it. if these things matter more to you than being with him.
Good. It’s hot to keep it up but do not he best you can
But they’ve been together for 4 years and he’s obviously is going through something. I’m not saying she’s not in her right feelings for wanting to leave him but it’s not like he was like this for the whole relationship. I guess I just tired of seeing people break up with out trying it’s just a suggestion.
So, this is a “shit or get off the pot” moment. Tell she either chooses to trust you or you guys go separate ways. Her distrust is affecting your relationship in ways you don't even realize.
She feels insecurity from financial scarcity. Probably from childhood financial instability.
As someone that loves movie, I’ve got to ask, can you name some movies that he lives for examples?
I would just tell him that you don’t want to watch whatever he’s watching or suggest something else. If he makes a big deal out of it, then just mention that you have different tastes on movies and you think that’s totally normal
Get her a dog they have awesome hearing may give her some security for when u are not there
I was once told that you never really know a person until you live under the same roof. I married young(twenty and my wife twenty two). We almost divorced.
Don’t you think it’s confusing for your son? How many men will you have him call dad? Enough until one finally sticks?
Your son is way better off having no dad and a present and safe mother than having a mother who is prioritizing random men over the kids real needs
I know it’s a reddit cliche but it’s also flabbergasting to me that obviously intelligent people come here asking if opening a relationship/non-monogamous break will fix a relationship where the other partner is clearly depressed and struggling, while completely ignoring the entire step of therapy. You both need it individually and together.
Frankly, this entire post sounds like a long justification for getting reddit stamped approval to fck around because *just look what I have to deal with from her.
Ok, didn't read to the end but normally, when you get laid off, your SO should be supportive and comforting…
Good grief lol “in love” do you even know what you're talking about?
You have a crush, an infatuation, with someone you barely know. You've been with your wife for 12 years, that's the partner you chose. Everyone acts like love is some bolt of lightning that strikes you out of the blue and takes possession of your mind and body but it's a choice. An action. Eventually it always takes effort even if you happen to be with your supposed “soulmate”. That effort includes not allowing yourself to slip into a thrilling little flirtationship with somebody who doesn't deserve to be messed around while they're trying to do their job. I'm glad she's avoiding you. She should be doing it more.
Make a boundary and stick to it. Stay away from your coworker beyond work matters and let her find someone that isn't already in a relationship. Even if you chose to end things and date her, you'd have a ton of pain and upheaval to go through first before you started dating her and get your reality check. Honestly 12 years from dating her and there you are again, falling in love with someone else because you're a bored and lazy husband that would rather indulge in fantasy than work on himself. Which is also something you could do, ya know? Mind-blowing as that may seem.
Sorry to be harsh but get a grip. You say you value your marriage over everything else so have some self control and create some distance. Maybe actually water your grass where you stand instead of hoping it's greener elsewhere?
Crushes are normal and they happen but if you're declaring yourself to be “in love” you're completely delusional.
There are absolutely tons of resources live, as well as books you can buy, about telling a kid they're going to be a big brother. I'd approach it like that, because he's super close to them, so it's more than just a cousin thing.
Reassurance, positivity and many, many reminders that love doesn't run out or get in short supply when there's more people to share it!
Jesus Christ. What a POS. Where’s the empathy and compassion for his wife that is suffering physically and emotionally?
What exactly is there to “handle?” She's attractive and gets checked out.
To be honest, you thinking “doing your part” is staring people down is absurd. Attractive people objectively exist in the world and people are certainly going to notice them.
If, however, things escalate to actions that are objectively inappropriate, then things can be handled accordingly. With just this context, consider it a compliment. People find your partner attractive. Why is that a problem?
Sorry this had to be uploaded again. Any comments posted, I could not view them.
No one with a healthy mindset would expect someone to relocate to a different state after just one month of a relationship to keep the relationship going. Nor would anyone expect someone to reject a job offer after only one month of dating. It also wouldn't be wise to reject this job offer for a 1 month relationship.
Take the job and relocate. You'll find someone new in your new state.
If you're not invested in your marriage, I don't really see the issue on your end tbh. If I was J's wife, I'd want to know though.
Plenty of people have this problem. But they go to a doctor for treatment so that they no longer have this issue.