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PlanetThickness, y.o.
Location: Florida, United States
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Date: October 31, 2022
Don’t assume it’s a game. At this point she likes you. That doesn’t mean she wants a bf necessarily though.
People generally can be trusted to say yes to things they want. So ask her to hang out or go out together, so if she wants to go she will say yes. If you get a no drop it.
If you get a no and completely let it go, people who do play games usually say “wtf, don’t they want me?”. Then you’ll get some late night texts down the road. Don’t date her at that point though. Would be more exhausting than it’s worth.
I get it, and I hope you never reach that place again. I do kind of agree with her though, I think drugs and alcohol bring out a side of people that’s still a part of them. Maybe when you’re sober it’s a part of you that you can control or is subconscious, but I think it’s still part of you. Quitting drugs and alcohol is a good step forward, but it’s not a full solution.
But therapy is great, and could maybe get rid of some of those parts of you. I think you’re making a smart decision by continuing with it. Improving for yourself is smart and the best way forward, since you can’t change her mind. She needs to decide. Hopefully you can make some big changes and she can see and accept them. But definitely take time and talk with your therapist about the relationship as well. I’m not a therapist and can’t advise much, but personally I’d be buckling my seatbelt and bracing for impact because the current path of the relationship doesn’t seem promising. You’re making good steps and working very hot towards it, but your partners mindset and past might prevent any solution. Only healing and time will tell.
Also if you refer to “red flag behaviors” regarding a partner… time to go.
For someone working in science he is jumping to conclusions awfully fast. All he bases his conclusions on is that there are less women in his field then men. Why does he think that the reason is intelligence? It can be influenced by any number of confounding variables.
Aside from the fact that there is no coming back from this relationship-wise… Report him. That's inappropriate as fuck.
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He wants to meet your friends so he can tell you he hates them then before you know it he will isolate you. You made a huge mistake living with him just be careful and do not get pregnant.
Your dad only cares about his dick right now and will do a anything and sacrifice anything to appease keeping it satisfied with this young girl. Your relationship with him is only transactional now. Same as it is with his GF but he thinks he’s getting his money’s worth. Do what you need to do to play the long game to get what you want now. He will end up giving everything has to this girl and there’s nothing you can do about it. After that cut him off because that’s the life he choose.
It’s actually quite common Some women get turned on by their intimate partners being with other women
I’ve asked boyfriends to tell me about past sexual encounters while in the middle of having sex with me. To me that’s very hot. I think it’s not unusual or a problem unless it interferes with normal life.
Do you keep in touch with him? If you have an amicable relationship with your ex you can talk to him about this. If not, then enjoy the fantasy
He's testing the waters after weeks of lovebombing you. He's testing you to see how much mistreatment you're willing to endure, because he wants to be able to do whatever the fuck he wants to you with no consequences. The kind sweet demeanor he presented to you was a mask. In the car, he let it slip and showed you who he really is. Believe him.
Right now, it's just him turning the A/C up when you're already cold. But it WILL escalate. He will start negging you. He will start trying to make you see your friends and/or family less. Then make you cut them off all together. He will start yelling at you for minor/imagined infractions. He will start hitting you.
You still have the chance to stop this before it starts. Leave him.
Well if you have repeatedly punched and hit your girlfriend (who was still legally married and dating your brother before grooming you), you should be in prison (which honestly would probably be safer than being with her).
Does the above paragraph sound like a situation you should leave?
She unfortunately now wants to end things because she doesn’t know how to love me the way I want even though she’s giving her all 🙁 I don’t know if I can accept that answer. Obviously I can’t change her but I want her to put in effort to make me feel something different. I don’t want us to end though
He doesn’t want to change. And reading your comments makes me believe that he doesn’t care how you feel.
You took his trust and you broke it. You upended every idea he had about your relationship. Whilst he's walking around happy and secure in the knowledge that he's loved you were out there cheating on him and proved everything he thought to be true about his life was an illusion. You are 100% responsible for everything that happened. You put him there, your decisions led you both down this path. Own your shit and work at being a better human being.
my thoughts r that she mostly needs to communicate better. if she tells you what type of thing stresses her, it may become easier for you to predict how she’ll feel based on outside events that are happening but if she won’t tell you what she wants/needs, how are you supposed to be supportive? but in these cases i understand her side as well, maybe she just wants you to talk to her to take her mind off things. tell her some menial drama about work and just keep the conversation going with or without her input to drown her thoughts. i’m just guessing, that’s what i usually want when i’m feeling stressed. good luck
If she’s fabricating stories to the police I would get away from her asap before you end up behind bars.
I think you convinced me to become a bartender anyways so he knows how it feels. He won’t stop ubering even after he saw me have a mental breakdown after finding the pictures and him ripping the phone out of my hands
No it doesn’t. I had hormonal shifts like crazy. But that didn’t make me forget I had a husband. With needs.
Your BFs mentality & behaviour here are to be perfectly blunt, disgusting. It is verging on manipulative & abusive.
He needs to “heal” from what you did, by having sex with someone else? Do you not see how wildly manipulative that is?
I want to find another solution on how to fix the pain I have caused my boyfriend.
You can't “fix” his pain (which isn't pain. It is jealousy & insecurity). You have not caused your BF any pain. You are not responsible for fixing his insecurities & jealousy.
DUMP. HIM.
TLDR
Breaking up due to no sex isn’t selfish. Many if not most people consider it a defining feature of a romantic relationship. I don’t call someone my girlfriend or promise exclusivity before we’ve had sex.
RIGHT? ISTG Charles
Even if it is harmless she's lying and breaking boundaries, if he's not doing these things with his other members of staff and doing it alone then it's not harmless and inappropriate.
NO YOU CANNOT FIX THIS. Stop. He is mentally ill and you are enabling him.
Don't go forward on moving in together. Get out of that arrangement ASAP.
This is not going to get better once you move in together. He's basically dissed you in a very personal way. You don't want a relationship with this kind of guy. Just say fine, you go find yourself a tighter pussy because I'm done with you.