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playboymateo, 21 y.o.
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Date: October 26, 2022
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Oh man, you sound so sweet (I mean that genuinely). You’re WAY overthinking, texting absolutely does not have to be a main mode of communication! As long as you find ways to connect that work for both of you, that’s awesome!
She's responsible for her, and he's responsible for him.
I’ve recommended therapy as this is something I’m looking into starting early next year for my own issues and I think it would be beneficial for our relationship. But her response was “baby I’m fine the way I am. God made me this way so why would I change”. Therapy isn’t something she’s open to so. But thank you for sharing what your therapist said. I’ve been working on changing my reactions as well and taking time to question my triggers when they happen. How do you manage when the situation does not change even after having communication about the issue? I can control my reaction but at the same time won’t it always bother me? Do I just stick to my boundaries hot and let her react the way she will? That’s one thing I learned recently. I used to never set boundaries because I’m a people pleaser but I’m working on it.
If there was no sex whatsoever but the men were married, does that require disclosure? Just because you are inclined to think the worst, doesn't mean it happened. We are supposed to give the benefit of the doubt rather than presume guilt based on… nothing? You are assuming things not in evidence.
Since the rest of the relationship seems to be going well, ie she is not doing immoral things at this time, is that grounds for walking away? If he was happy til she disclosed this piece of her past, why is he questioning the relationship now, when she has done nothing to her spouse in anyway?!
Even if she was turning tricks so she didn't starve, should she be condemned 'cause she failed to starve rather than be moral? OMG, she lived but she should have died, if she was moral!
Judging a person when you have never walked a mile in their shoes is immoral. You don't know what lines they crossed, what circumstances drove their decisions. Leave the morality for those that know them well.
That was my first thought, along with she met someone else. But op said she isn't dating anyone else..
She could get scared as the seriousness/commitment thing gets to real and finds a reason to push away. I know I used to be that way when I was younger when things were going a little too well. Self sabotage type shit
Weed is just simply not my thing and I don’t see myself dating somebody who will be high often
That's your boundary, then. Tell him this, and if he smokes often, break up with him.
These days? Did it used to be different?
Girl. I was in a relationship once and felt myself falling in love with my best friend. I made the jump. Broke up with my boyfriend, took some time, and confessed my feelings. I’m engaged to my best friend now, getting married this year.
Honestly. Follow your heart. It may not work out perfectly but at least you’ll have tried.