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PNP, 22 y.o.
Location: Missouri, United States
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Date: October 25, 2022
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Boy, bye. What a piece of abusive crap.
Tbh sounds like she’s into the other dude more than you
I know, I’ve been there. It’s nude to hear. But just keep in mind that your perception of the current relationship might be different from his. If you’re in love, I think he’ll get there too, he just needs time. Definitely have a good conversation with him
This is really not your problem to solve. Is your half brother grown up and out of the family home? Why can't HE recommend the marriage counselling? Do you have family members you could talk to about this? A grandparent or aunt or uncle that your parents would respect and listen to?
It is not safe for children to be in an environment where violence is happening.
We don't really know that though. What is written in this post here seems too vague to me. But I wouldn't think there wasn't much conversation between the two, even before the date, especially if she has OP's email.
It's still not okay.
Say he was bi, what kind of relationship would that be? Where one person lied to and conned the other into revealing intimate details about themselves.
It's just so wrong.
No. Full stop on you. I wont let you reframe what I said to make me look bad. I 100% already agreed that is 100% wrong and not what I was trying to say at all. Yet you continue to try to frame me in a bad light. You have some fixation on reading things wrong and then doubling down. You're an idiot. I'm done responding to you.
A problem no one asked you to solve lmao now youre just grasping, good on ya
He's greedy and utterly selfish. Not someone you should be sharing anything with.
He's greedy and utterly selfish. Not someone you should be sharing anything with.
Sounds like my ex. Just divorce. The person you thought you knew is gone, or perhaps was never there.
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her name is not on the deeds, only his. He could kick her out at any time.
That's possibly a huge “nope” depending on where they live!.
In most of the US, as long as some “establishes residence” at a home, they are legally considered a resident, even if they aren't on the lease/deed/mortgage. They could file an eviction notice against them, but that takes atleast 90 days.
I'm not sure what country you are talking about though, so please double check the laws there.
How to be a good partner to a grown adult man is to take responsibility for your own life and stop blaming yourself. You have no responsibility for somebody else’s feelings. If you’re not actively participating in the problem. You need a book called codependent no more by Melody Beattie. It is a primer for the behavior you’re talking about. You were codependent around him.
My boyfriend bought a girl a drink one night when I had been buying his. They both treated me like a ghost. This was like 6 or 7 years ago, but it still hurts me to this day. I wasn’t even a second thought.
Just remember that this truth does not reflect poorly on you, and anyone who thinks it does is not a real friend.
When I left my abusive ex, I had a nude time sharing the truth because I thought it would make me look bad for some reason. When I realized that his actions have no bearings on my character and I’m not a bad person for sharing my true experiences, it was like this weight came off my shoulders. Tell people, share your story. It’ll help you see who is truly a good person in your life and it might help someone else avoid this man
He’s a piece of shit is what he is.
Leave.
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Despite you really organizing and doing a lot of work on your end to make things as easy and less stressful for you and her, I wonder if she’s simply mentally/emotionally burnt out with you.
And I don’t mean that in a rude way. Having an SO who is ill can be very very taxing on the other person for many reasons. However, she is going out and doing things for herself it seems, so she should be making an attempt to still try to spend quality time with you doing things you can tolerate.
Have you truly tried sitting down with her to ask her how she’s feeling mentally/emotionally? Hopefully she’d open up to you, as you are engaged and should be able to discuss uncomfortable or tense topics. Perhaps she needs to ‘let out’ any frustration or anger or confusion or grief to help her fully process everything and get through whatever she’s going through. You said there’s light at the end of the tunnel for you, so she needs to remember that too. She stuck with you in sickness, and she’s almost to the finish line, so she can be with you in times of health too.
But perhaps until then, she needs some extra TLC/understanding too.
On February the 12th 2022 me and what I thought was the love of my life broke up, it broke me completely but with the help of my best friends who basically put me back together, joining the gym, throwing myself into working more and seeing my children helped me get back on my feet. Staying busy, friends and family really help and now
I'm now in the early stages of dating again with someone wonderful and has the same values, beliefs, similar personality and sense of humour as myself and I'm looking forward to seeing what progresses in the future.
You're a king and you will get back on your feet and learn to love again.
For me I literally forget how many partners I've been with and in what order. Fortunately, I get tested a lot but I have this background fear I'm going to get a call that one has an STD or something.
You can't hang in a different room while girls are over? Why do you need to leave? Is she also assuming you just have a place to go for the night?
Honestly, it sounds like you already had the conversation.
He told you he isn't interested in anything other than a casual friendship. You say that you get it, but you're complaining that he isn't responding to all your social media stuff? It kind of sounds like you don't actually get it.
I'm very sorry, but he just isn't that into you— not even as the kind of friend you want him to be. It sucks, but it happens.
You’re dating a know it all and possibly a narcissist. He sounds exhausting!!
First, he’s telling you that he’s lowered his standards for you and in 5-10 years you might be good enough?
He’s constantly putting you down and telling you that you aren’t good enough for your friend group
After 4 years, you have to earn his love
He’s never at fault for anything
He blames you for every problem to the point that you just agree to get the fight over with
Yes! He’s emotionally abusive. More importantly, he’s just a horrible person. Definitely don’t waste anymore time on him, but having a discussion that you are breaking up is not going to work. If you live! together, I’d find a new place. Start moving things out slowly and then have help to get everything else out when he’s not home. Once you’re out, then I’d call and let him know you’re done or just leave a note. You know how the break up will go based on every other fight you’ve had so save yourself the abusive fight and just rip off the bandaid.
Again, who cares.
If you were dating an 18-year-old then sure I would also be a little concerned. But at 20 you basically have become the person that you were going to become in life.
Comedy that hits ya like a Bulgarian survivalist, I’ll be here all week!
Nope. Therealcosmicnebula is correct. If you were mature, you wouldn’t have freaked out and blown it.
The 22 y/o has her shit together way better than you. Leave her alone. You wasted enough of her time.
Just do better next time.
Yeah I read your fucking post. You're telling him after it's too late. He's a man. Just look over and say, in the moment, “hold my hand”. This isn't some Nicholas Sparks book where he magically fulfills every one of your romantic whims without even asking. Grow up.
And try to be nicer. I was answering your question.
Yeah that’s happening! I’m personally reaching the anger stage of grief right now and I’m rereading all the paragraphs he wrote out to confront me with. I was and still quite a bit, deeply confused about why he’s mad at me for being mad at him for defending against such a racist remark. He’s also tried justifying that saying the N word would be fine if people moved on.
But overall thanks for your reassurance it means a lot. I really thought for a sec I missed something there but I think I did the right thing in fighting for my values there. I guess I was just with the wrong person.
OP SA'd the guy. How is this a safe space with a safe person? Reverse the genders, no one would be taking OP's side.
Disgusting.
this is such bad advice
Says the female
You tell him, and based on his response will tell you if it’s worth progressing with the relationship.
As for dinner, don’t go, tell N that until you get an apology and a promise that his mom won’t put you in that position again, that you will not be around her.
Mediator or lawyer. Don't got this way alone.
That's very interesting. However, the context here was this particular guy crying and that is clearly as others are saying an act of manipulation.
If you're doing things to hurt your boyfriend that make you cry, something strange is going on there too. What kind of things? Why do you do them? If you do things which will later on make you cry, could you be trying to send yourself a message? You're in the wrong relationship. I hope you're not trying to harm or sabotage yourself
and his wife’s safety should she want to leave.
So you’re just afraid your boyfriend will get mad at you. You know he won’t be abusive – he’ll just be mad. So instead of just letting him get mad, you’re allowing the abuse of this poor dog to continue? If you really loved this dog you’d do what’s best for him.
Exactly. Sounds like you're involved?
No cops. No military. Not active or former. Never ever ever ever. For any reason. Period.
What could you possibly b talking about
Lol don't listen to that shit head
Yeah initially it was exciting to think about becoming close with his child, but I will probably not meet her for a while due to the distance and he thinks the mother will not let him see baby after he tells her about me. So it’s tough thinking I’ll kind of be on the sideline until that happens.
Yeah, weird….I wish when I was going through a custody battle someone would've said that
Did she do this with any of her ex partners?
Did she do this with any of her ex partners?
Yes, that’s why (if you read all the way before commenting) I said “His mental illness is not your responsibility.”
Sadly, you've got nothing left to fight for.
Yes you should end it, it's clearly not working for you.
yeah I was no contact for about a week until today.. and everyday since 2 weeks ago seems like a endless limbo where i’m fucking depressed, cant focus on work, want to leave the city, taking drugs to numb myself, etc.
I cant even look at other girls. everything EVERYTHING makes me depressed and sad because it always comes back to thinking about her.
Males are, on average, 60–70% stronger in the upper body than a female of the same size. Males are, on average, 30–40% stronger in the lower body than a female of the same size.
Haha
Idk where you learned anything from, because you are very wrong.
Yeah, I bet not only does she not feel safe walking at night now; she probably doesn’t feel safe with him anymore. I know I wouldn’t.
Why the fuck are you still with this disrespectful scumbag asshole?
If my husband suggested this we would be getting a divorce. I was extremely clear up front when we got together that I am not remotely open to other people for any reason, full stop.
Keep in touch with her. Nothing wrong with being platonically together for a while. And if you guys will go to university soon there might be exchange programs available, which opens up the possibility to study abroad.
You go by twisted ways, scaredycat.