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Date: January 20, 2023
Read the book Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski.
Seriously, start reading it ASAP, you won't regret it. It has exactly the kind of knowledge and insight you need to navigate this situation in the best possible way for the both of you.
Yeah I texted him earlier this week after I found out “Btw me and my friend send random shit of guys I date/d like this to each other IN PRIVATE – yes it’s very creepy objectively the whitepages but idgaf it’s harmless and stupid – I thought I was getting ghosted for 2 months to someone I had blocked I would NEVER sabotage anyone elses relationships!!!”
and he basically responded saying how creepy and weird it was looking up his gf at the time “especially when we broke up because you were literally going crazy” .. the part i felt gaslit was I wouldn't of felt crazy if he wasn't a bad person (talking to other girls, big on social media, shady possibly on dating apps, etc). I never responded and the next day he then unblocked me on IG and dmed me a pic of us and I never opened/responded to that either. I know you are right and I will let it go, I just feel sick myself that I even entertained this nonsense even though I weirdly enough still have a soft spot for him…
This one came to my mind first thing too. What a crazy story.
???? huge….
i am a guy, yes.
theyve had/have many male friends, as well.
everytime i mention them leaving me out of these conversations, theyll always blame me and say something like “then just contribute. just talk bruh”. but, half the time i do, theyll just leave me out a g a i n. im very confused.
Leaving her goes without question, he shouldn't stay with someone who has violated his trust like this. However, it is worth point out that courts rarely will side with the victim in these cases, because reproductive coercion is so naked to prove. Even with text evidence of the person admitting it, the vast majority of these cases are thrown out or they don't even get to court. It might just end up as more stress and trauma for OP, especially if a court does not side with him.
assuming OP doesnt give a shit about his wife and wants to deliberately hurt her feelings?
youre probably very popular with the ladies
OP please please give yourself permission to potentially to leave this relationship “unhealthily” that is don't put yourself in a dangerous situation because you feel you need to give him a chance or don't want to be seen as a bad guy.
tbh this is a very scary moment for you but in many ways this is a potential life-saver. It's naked to believe that this man is safe as you said no honesty and the reported excuses are very low accountability.
My guess is that confronting this could be quite dangerous for you literally, but also potentially could spark a lot of manipulation.
I’m confused.
He doesn’t play pool after work everyday, right? So you see him all the other days since you online together? Do you ever make plans to do something other than workout? Maybe he just doesn’t want to work out?
I’m not really understanding where this “30 min” thing is coming from.
Sweet and loving is not this. A truly sweet and loving girl would try harder and do better. She is a mooch and using her mental health issues as a crutch. I have serious mental health issues that are debilitating some days. I also work 2 Jobs? Raise 3 kids and go to college. Stop enabling her.
If that's true then I'm dumb as fuck she started a conversation like that a few days ago and I kept it going but ended up taking it seriously.
He has either really big anxiety problems or he is a huge prick.
Phone his mom and get in the house, next time. Or if she's not around, either he lets you in the house, or you wait thirty minutes tops then leave.
Did you ask to see her phone?
Start working on your exit plan. Get a diary and write about the good things you have done that day. (Helping him look for work, helping around the house). Reference your money and housing struggles. Talk about everything in a positive or neutral manner and list his responses. Whatever you do, do not get pregnant.
All men are animals.
So are women.
All men are animals.
So are women.
Lol omg
He could also secretly be into men as well.
You can’t control somebody else’s behavior. You can tell them you’re not comfortable with them doing it because in the past they’ve had problems when they went out drinking.
On a more personal level, you can check their things and find a way to check what she did while she was out. If she’s done something you will know she’s either going to be really ashamed and act different around you or be defensive. Something will come up and you’ll know. And then you can decide whether you want to stay with her
The fact that you are dealing with anxiety and depression means you are most likely not looking at this logically. Marriages are never easy, you will always find faults in your partner because they are human.
Personally I would continue to work on yourself, and keep communicating. If you still feel the same way when your depression and anxiety are better, maybe then.
I guess I’m of two minds on this:
Either 1) he had bad intentions or 2) he really is just friends but knew you’d freak out so he didn’t tell you.
Neither are good and only you can sort which it is.
It seems to me that there’s already insecurity there on your part be it warranted or not or you wouldn’t have dug in on this. So are there already reasons for trust issues or is have you been prone to insecurity/jealousy in the past for no real reason?
I dunno. I’m friends with colleagues of the opposite sex and am FB friends with some of them. Most are married but some are single. It’s never been an issue in my relationships but I’m very transparent about it and my partner has a secure attachment style so he isn’t bothered by it.