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Model from: co
Languages: es
Birth Date: 2001-02-08
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityLatino
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureStudent
Date: October 21, 2022
Have you texted or called Jessie to see what’s up?
Tell her that she needs to do a better job as an owner or you’re calling the humane society. She’s not gonna change her ways unless there’s some real threat. If things don’t change then call humane society
There’s just so many different factors playing into this, I don’t know how to get any closure without just being up front. I have no idea where she stands in our relationship, whether she did have feelings and wasn’t ready, or if she never had feelings to begin with.
Still even with our friendship she gives off a lot of mixed signals. She wanted to run a long distance race next year and asked me to do it with her so now we’re training for that. She’s also invited me out with her friends and her siblings. But also it feels like sometimes I’m just a bother because she takes forever to text back or texts back with one word.
I’ve only known her two months so I don’t know how much of this is just her being a naturally friendly person. I don’t know how else to get her perspective on things without just asking her and I don’t think I have it in me to endure the hurt until she gives me any kind of sign
Thanx for this!
You are an adult and no one is stopping you. If you really feel like living alone is best then you just have to actually do it. Start looking for an apartment and when you find one you like put a deposit on it. You just have to take the steps
I’m exactly 7 days past my expected period so I’m thinking around 3-4 weeks?
I mean. There’s a lot of stereotypes and weird going on here, but did you ever think she just isn’t interested in you? Like, maybe you were clingy and that put her off (which is how this post comes across), but if she’s not interested she’s not interested. And being shy/introverted does not mean she’s going to like attention. She could absolutely hate it.
She's had a lifetime to get used to the idea that she's a lesbian – probably in the face of some extreme bigotry and self-denial. You are allowed to take more than a few minutes to get to grips with it yourself. However – she has told you your marriage is over and for good reason. That's the kind of thing that requires just one person to end, and two people to keep going. Don't kid yourself that there is a romantic future for you both together – there isn't. There could be a happy, healthy relationship between you but it will take a lot of work. I would encourage you to get therapy, both individual and family. Please remember that you have children together and they need to come first.
Just look at the hatred towards her BF in the comments
That is super gross.
I would leave. Worst thing that can happen is she still likes you
You’re not doing anything wrong. Odds are good he’s not interested in a relationship.
I’m being a dumbass my letting it be open.
This is your answer.
OMG, you are hitting the nail perfectly.
First, she once got mad at me for not paying enough attention to her during a double date and said that it was because of the other woman that was there. This was around Halloween and I suggested that the other girl dress as Selena since they are both Latina, but my then gf accused me of suggested that costume because I thought they were both sexy. Then, on another occasion I wanted to say bye to everyone and this one girl was distracted, so I held my hand out trying to get her attention. She accused me of trying to flirt with the girl secretly. A couple of days ago she got mad that I would rather spend New Years with my family rather than her which is why she suggested the “deal”.
Second, this has happened with one of her friends. The friend was drunk and tried to kiss us both on the cheek. She thought her friend was trying to kiss me on the mouth and was doing so intentionally, so she completely flipped her view from her being a potential good friend to a total B-word. I tried to suggest that she actually tried kissing me on the cheek and was drunk, but she wasn't having any of it.
Every time she gets mad at me, she will bring up anything wrong I did and go on a tantrum based on the littlest thing she sees as me doing her wrong. So, she is definitely keeping a list.
Third, she definitely treats casual friends better. If a casual friend does something wrong to her, she will simply cut them off from her life. I've seen how she talks to her ex and she talks to him similarly to how she talks to me.
Fourth, even now she will act all nice to me and say “I love you”, but if I say anything to make her upset she will say “do you want a war with me. I can be cordial with you or we can be enemies”?
So, all four red flags are for sure there.
It really stands out that you took a very passive approach to this and more or less depended on the others to sort it out. You kind of threw your girlfriend to the wolves, here.
You were very much involved in what became the conflict so it doesn’t make sense that you abdicated yourself from any sort of resolution.
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I didn’t say I slept with two different dudes in a month though. I’ve only slept with one guy since my boyfriend. The other guy was a while ago but from the same app and I thought it’d be worth mentioning.
Thank you for the advice!! Definitely gonna be more cautious.
Do not give in to that pressure. I can guarantee you will regret it.
If you do that, your kids will be subjected to their religious demands. You okay with that, too?
And if it doesn't work out you will have severe regrets.
I would sit her father down and have a conversation. Tell him you respect and love his daughter but you will not be converting in any way other than respecting their religious beliefs. Bring up a tradition from your religion and explain how you would never subject his daughter to those expectations.
Also have a conversation with your fiance. Similar theme.
I can almost guarantee that if you do their song and dance, they will keep adding expectations for you to do. Over and over again. When they're bored, when they're unsatisfied with life, when they question your faith. You will be their doll to impose their will upon.
I get that you have your soul mate. There is a very big cost attached to keeping her right now and you need to decide if the cost is worth it.
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This is one of the things I would do if I choose to stay.
You should see a therapist. Probably one who focuses on cognitive behavioral therapy, which is good with dealing with unwanted thoughts, like the ones you’re experiencing.
Wow. She’s so jealous of your daughter that she’s persuaded you not to start saving for her future?
Sorry but that’s appalling. You should not be taking her side in this. Your CHILD should always be number one in your life. I don’t understand why you’re putting your sexual needs above your child’s needs.
If you don’t recognize this as a break up, you need to wake up and recognize it for what it is. This should come as no surprise to you. He’s been using you for your entire relationship. You’ve never been his partner. You’ve been his servant and a means to keep a roof over his head. You should’ve broken up with him a long time ago. Remember he’s a guest in your mother’s house. You can kick him out whenever you want to. Sure, it’d be nasty. You’ll probably have to call the cops, but you can have him removed from the property.
Your best move now is to get it over with and break up. If you stay with this guy, he’s just going to keep using you. Even if he lets you move in, he’ll probably just make you into his maid again. Also, if his name is on the lease, it’s his apartment, not yours. He can kick you out whenever he wants. Do you really want to stay with a man that doesn’t appreciate you?
And the silence is his cowardly way out. Yep.
How is OP really 30? I would have guessed 18
This sounds toxic as hell.
Jesus Christ, it's literally this simple. I can't believe how fucking egotistical and self centered these idiots are! “My girlfriend was the victim of a traumatic crime, but every time it comes up I totally ignore her feelings and make sure she's guilted into groveling and pandering over me! Please echo my feelings, k thnx.”
even if he’s from a different country though? he’s leaving in a couple days…
What is batshit crazy is having to do a dna test because OP’s partner believed a group of friends. But we might have very different ideas of “adult” relationships
Major red flag that he gets upset if you prep with the numbing lube… almost as if he wants you to feel pain..
Absolutely this
Never go back mate. It's over. Leave it that way.
By definition harm means causing injury, pain means physical suffering, so that’s why I was asking and confused.
To me personally, a single kiss, with no emotional affair, and honesty and regret after it happened? I wouldn’t end a relationship. It does seem like an extremely overboard reaction to ME. But you have your own boundaries and limits and if you can’t get over it – then that’s your choice. You can end any relationship for any reason, even reasons that others may not agree with.
No. Not how does he react when you just keep Asking the same thing over and over or ‘how do you not know?’. What happens when you actually talk to him about the issue?
What happens when you say ‘Hey, let’s chat. I have an issue I’d like to talk about. Whenever I ask you to do something, you just say ‘I don’t know’. I’m having a very hot time understanding that. Everytime you do it, it makes me feel like Xx_insert_feelings_here_xX. Can you help me understand a little better and help me come up with a way to ask in such a way that I don’t keep getting the same reply?’?
Or something similar.
What happens when you actually discuss the issue with him?
I think she's genuine too. The only thing that worries me about doing it this way, is that maybe it would be better without marriage constraints. I'm thinking about it and got really good advices including yours.
Anyways I feel like this whole relationship is a mess, like first we marry, then we get to know each other and become best friends, now we were supposed to divorce and we're dating… Like everything's shuffled
I hope we can make it work if we keep dating
Thank you very much!!
The actual relationship was only a month but we were seeing each other for half a year. It was my second relationship, first one was the one I mentioned that lasted for 2 years+ but thanks for this
Monster
She may be blocking it out now but it is inside her head and eventually it's going to come out and it is a ticking time bomb in your relationship as well as in her mental health. She needs to start therapy ASAP.
I really don't want to play the gender card, because getting hit by your partner regardless of gender is something that, in my opinion, should never happen without a consensual discussion beforehand (some people like to be struck during sex)..
But being a man struck from a woman who is supposed to love you produces a set of unique feelings, at least for me it did. Its emasculating in the realm that men are historically competent (physical “combat”) and you have no “out”. Typically men resolve things with violence or anger, but obviously physically fighting back resolves nothing.
Deep self reflection, even therapy, is whats needed.
The pregnancy was unplanned by YOU.
Something tells me it might not have been entirely unplanned by HER.
I have a question for you. Say you get married and you have children, what are you going to do if she can't have sex with you ever again? It is not common but not rare to have complications that cause permanent pain/discomfort for women during sex after labor and delivery. Doctors sometimes give husband stitches that make sex without pain and tearing physically impossible. Some women don't feel up for having sex again for months or years after giving birth without complications. Are you willing to put up with that? If you're not you shouldn't ever try to have children because you're setting yourself up to use a woman's body and discard it once it is no longer useful to you.
take up gambling or alcoholism. that's what I did
Have you thought that maybe it’s not that you’re not ready but that you’re scared?
My husband and I have been trying for a baby for almost a year and this summer (in August), I was just starting a new job and I remember he was very afraid of trying because we also didn’t have a house and I had just started work so god knows what was going to happen , etc etc. Everything was stressing him out and he thought we weren’t ready . But reality is that you’ll never feel ready . There will never be a point in your life when you feel ‘ok now is the time’.
Btw I did get a permanent position now in January and we just bought a house as well. The baby is still not here though. Point is it was all in his head and now when we talk about it he is grateful that I talked him out of it because things do end up falling in their places eventually.
I have never heard of Plan B being used the help with cramps… I know it can make you cramp. But never have I heard of anyone taking it to ease cramps.
I'm sorry, but I don't think your being paranoid. I would trust your instincts on this one. Don't gaslight yourself into dismissing a red flag.
I have met her family multiple times. I would definitely know about it.
They’re deliberately hiding information that would be beneficial to their case, therefore I don’t think they are to be trusted.
I'm not sure what you mean. Like…you just like to lay there and do absolutely nothing?
You’re 23 with no baby, a win is a win. Move on & let him go be a father to his child.
Girl please, kick him to the curb. You can do so much better and actually have a partner in life instead of a manipulative jerk that causes you nothing but stress.
What’s his reason for not telling you?
You’re not being paranoid, you are being naive. She was there. And now that you confronted her, it only means she will be more careful next time. Like park her car at her work and leave her phone in her car and jump in his and go home with him. Talk to a lawyer and get out now.
I'm glad you can see this for yourself.
Yeah, I think that's honestly a really likely outcome here. I imagine if OP expresses these concerns, she'll probably get the answer she's hoping for.
You shouldn't sacrifice your life and happiness for someone else. Right now, you are enabling him to wallow in his misery, if you weren't there for him, maybe he would be forced to make some changes, or maybe not. You can only control your actions; you can't control his. Leave him and find your own happiness. If you feel compelled to do so you can still check up on him to see how he is doing and encourage him to make some changes.
He is a grown man and is responsible for his own well being. You can't force him to get help or do anything else. He has to choose his own way forward. You suffering alongside him isn't helping him. You don't have the power to make him well, nor are you responsible for his depression. He has to choose to get help. You need to move on.
That sounds like the movie The Hand That Rocks The Cradle.
I don’t feel secure enough 🙁 , the problem is I’ve told her this but she won’t stop
He had the vasectomy. I picked him up from post op and chatted with the nurse about follow up care. He did not do all the follow up appointments though. Apparently he never got the all clear from the doc.
My husband told me he uses the line “I’ll have to check with my mrs” it means he doesn’t want to whatever you are doing but he doesn’t want the other them to be pissed at him. When I hear that on the phone I know he wants me to make an excuse.
Hugs! You are beautiful!
If he's so honest, why don't you believe him? Or are you just ok with a partner who cheats? You could have a faithful partner if you wanted. You just now know it wouldn't be him. Is a cheater what you want?
This happened 2 years ago — emergency services were called 2 times and all of his family were asked to watch over him. It’s all alcohol fuelled
I wouldn’t rather myself in this position. I’d rather his kids worth their dad than him making a silly choice whilst he’s drunk and spiralling.
The thought of him taking his life is enough to terrify me. I love this man but I can’t fully function with him
And to anyone thinking of doing this… Write the letter on physical paper and actually burn it. I tried it on the computer and deleting it but it's not the same. The symbolism is missing.
I’m sorry but it sounds like she’s lost interest. Some people don’t like texting. Not your fault.
It's really something you need to discuss with him wether or not you are into. Some girls I have been with love being spanked,hair pulled, called names etc. Other girls don't like it. Me myself and not really into it, does nothing for me but I don't dislike it to the point that I can't do it for a girl who does enjoy it.
I would be worried about a future with a person who casually shows you pics of him with his ex. Would he do something like that to you? Did he do that to his ex while they were dating? Is your privacy in the relationship safe? I wouldn’t date or be intimate with this person.
Monica Geller? Ethan?
Yeah I deff was addicted to the drama too. I don’t want that anymore, 30 is approaching.
I think he mind fucked me too. When I was younger he would text me all the time asking for nudes and then dirty talk me asking me to beg or worth ship him. I just got into it but I feel like over the years it made a really weird dynamic in my head I had a very hot time breaking
God I hope so,but never underestimate just how stinky human filth can be. I def don't doubt for a sec that ppl like this exist, even if this is a troll.
Been with my husband a total of 9 years, and some of the romance has stopped but here's the important thing: not all of it.
We go on dates a couple times a month, celebrate and he sometimes just brings me treats and chocolates. It's not as often as it used to be, but both of us put in an effort, even if we're tired or short on money. Like he'll randomly make cookies, or I make him lunch or dinner.
How do you think it's not a fire hazard to smoke inside the building if it's a fire hazard ro smoke right outside it. Dude….
Be careful she might be cheating herself and projecting her feelings onto you. Might be good to check that angle.
To clarify, no he was told that he was not the father at the time.
I also assumed that contact was made for the purposes of financial gain, and less about solving a family issue.
My boyfriend is very much taking that route and refusing to “give in” essentially, which I can understand. Still incredibly very hot for both of us to continue with life when a threat like that is hanging over our heads!
Holy crap you really managed to turn OP getting creeped on all about you. Wow, lmao
Idk where you live but if you town has a 'are we dating the same guy' fb page I would put up his pic so no one else fall for his bullshit
If true, what can you do? They will likely find out eventually, considering all the dna tests being so readily available. So make the most of it now I guess. And decide if you want to be in charge of admitting it or if you prefer to be caught and exposed. Both will suck. But at least one has a chance of some redemption and the other has none.
I think you’re racist and ethnocentric. Just an fyi. Not just white people do those things. I look white, but I’m biracial. There are A LOT of white Latinxs out there. Stop being small minded ??♀️ it’s okay to identify with all parts of you. I do t know what people don’t understand this.
Yes. He currently sees a psychologist but thinks all his problems are because of me.
Exactly. Like how is tht helpful or working. It's working about as much as putting a bandaid on a bullet wound. It's been years of this and OP thinks his daughter doesn't feel that woman hates her? How ignorant can u be.
Yes, tell coworker!
Next time he says anything to you, tell him he is gross!
It disturbs you not at all that your 28 year old wife won’t wait for cupcakes with your daughter??!!! That she can’t manage to include your 11 year old daughter because she now has your sons??!!
The daughter who is unwelcome in your home??!!!
Someone gave you the response to your question down the comments what weed withdrawal does.
He doesn't sound as if the presentbbehavior was withdrawal induced.
Yeah that’s not a good look for him. It would be fine if he talked about your pain in a caring concerned way and suggested birth control as an option, but just demanding you get on it because he wouldn’t want you to miss work? That’s bad. You’re in pain every month and his reaction is to worry about you not bringing in money. What if you fall ill?
So by your own logic he IS strong-minded because he knows what he wants – a partner who doesnt let her family treat him like shit.
Does the $30 mean anything? It's not a lot of money but I have to beg and plead while he doesn't mind doing it for his other friends while I'm the friend who holds him down.
I don’t understand how you can believe you’re a horrible communicator. “No, of course I wasn’t with another man and I’m not dating anyone else!” It’s very clear.
Someone will only believe you’re lying if that’s what they really WANT to believe. And you can’t win over someone’s insecurities with truth and facts, they’ll choose their own feelings every time.
Throw this one back, you’re only in for a future of painful accusations and constantly having to prove yourself, limit yourself and make your world smaller so as not to set him off. You’ve literally done nothing to earn such distrust.
Divorce your husband, and call the police on his coworker. “Hubby” clearly doesn't respect you at all, or your grieving process, and coworker literally committed theft
Oohhhh good point
I hope at some point—sooner than later—you manage to locate some shred of self respect and dump her ass. Do you think you can't find someone who treats you decently and with respect, or do you think that little of yourself?
Yeah me too.
Where did she meet him? Dating app? Maybe ask her boyfriend.
Just being on a dating app suggests she has an unhealthy need for male attention.
Validation should come from within (not from guys). She needs therapy.
Help, please.
With what?
Pretending he won't keep doing this for the next ten years? This is your life. This is what you choose on a daily basis (either actively choose or passively agree to accept). Stopping the normalization of porn in this society? Yeah, that's beyond the scope of this sub-reddit.
“The fancier the wedding, the more bitter the divorce.” Keep that in mind.
That’s the biggest WTF for me. Not the quick marriage and kid, that’s not too unusual. But for her to have PPD, and then to say “yep, we’re fucked, now let’s have another kid!” is just crazy.
How many times do you plan to post this today?
He always talks about everything it's just the important stuff he doesn't tell me about
Why did his friend need to use his phone?