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Puca & Tam, 29 y.o.
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Live! Live Sex Chat rooms Puca & Tam
Date: October 2, 2022
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It's suspicious that he was genuinely contemplating leaving you for her and he purposefully didn't tell her he had a gf until after you knew. The whole “he'd never want to leave me” is clearly not true because he was literally making plans to do it, whether they were just in theory or not, he had the thought. If he loves you then why seriously contemplate leaving you for someone else? All the things he's saying contradict what his actual actions/motives were during the affair. Soooooo… personally I'd be out the door, I have 0 tolerance for cheating, but it's up to you if you think you could ever trust him again, you'd have to figure out ways he'd even be able to do that.
I just read Nick has lupus, so some percentage of his kids are going to have it and pass it to their kids. What a douchecanoe.
He is too old to be your friend. He is too old to be your boyfriend. Please do not meet him.
My advice? Sit down with your boyfriend and remind him of this important principle:
“Foreplay is ALL DAY!” What does that mean? Relationships grow cold when you stop “dating”. Send a few texts during the day letting the other partner know that you are thinking about them! Just a short text, reminding them how sexy they are and how much they turn you on. EVERYONE likes to hear that every now and then.
My partner and I subscribe to the “at least one nice thing” policy. I don’t care how busy your schedules are, you both have time during your day to do something, thoughtful, considerate, helpful, etc.…that could: make their day easier, remind them how attractive they are, show them that you actually listen when they tell you their wants, needs, and desires…
Foreplay is an all day because you can’t essentially ignore your partner, act cold, or distant, failed to prioritize their happiness, etc. during the day, and then seriously wonder why they don’t want to climb on top of you the minute you both climb into bed? In a situation like that, the “ignored” partner doesn’t feel special. They don’t feel like they are “the one”. They feel as if they are no more than their partners only option at the moment. And then some actually have the nerve to try to make their partners feel guilty for not “putting out” or “doing their job”! And of course, this is after an entire day of neglecting their job of loving their partner and actually showing it
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No pill for either. I've done about a year's worth of very pragmatic self-talk, the type of which you've so helpfully reminded me here. I'll try to keep reminding myself of it, how we're probably seeing the greatest potential in each other and the reality is much different. So naked to see through the fog, but thank you for your help
You’re just talking out your ass lol
You can masturbate, but do it like training mode. So tons of lube, feather touch, as little visual stimulus as possible.
Use your non dominant hand, use a different technique.
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Treat them the same way you do the people who want to clean your heating ducts.
No, the keyhole surgery was a separate op, nothing major.
I fully understand that a hysterectomy is a major operation.
All of the kids attend school full time, so she's dealt with them for about 1-2 hours.
If you knew my heart, I'm not going to say things for the purpose of beating you down. I truly hope for you and your wife to be happy together. That out of the way……..
A wise man once said, paraphrasing, never ever stop treating your wife like your sweetheart.
It sounds like you've not cared for her properly for years. That anger in your heart manifests at different times/situations…….but even when it's not outwardly demonstrated, it “seasons” every word you speak and action you take. You need a new heart. I hope you seek out the one who can give it to you.
As for the gift, regardless of the outcome, or what she says, a nice gesture is always the right way to go. If she refuses it, than that's her choice…..but don't let that stop you from offering it. You're only responsible for your actions or non-actions, not of other people's actions or nonactions. If you do give a gift, I hope that you put some more personal feeling into it than just what be new/trendy/expensive/or whatever and make it reflect on how you feel about the person.
Hope for the best for ya'll. God Bless.
In my experience, my most jealous, controlling boyfriends were also the boyfriends who cheated on me. It’s just a guess but he could have cleared his phone of anything questionable but forgot to clear his text history with his best friend.
Even if he’s not cheating/thinking about cheating, this isn’t healthy behavior and you know it. Don’t waste what can be fun, carefree years on someone who doesn’t deserve your time, trust, or respect
Thank you so much for the insight. I love the field I'm studying right now but it'll take years for me to get a paying job in my field because of qualification requirements. But I'll try to find part time paying jobs as soon as I can
Don't ask a question if you aren't ready to accept the answer. You were wrong for pushing it. So what if you're not his normal type. Maybe that's a good thing because clearly his past types haven't worked out. You were wrong for so many things on this.
Yea’ you screwed the pooch on that in little buddy…
I’m sorry for your loss ❤️
Right? Not helpful. I mean, for the future, sure. But as a fellow intelligent and attractive woman who has made some abysmal relationship choices, I hear you. Further, I have certainly experienced an odd phenomenon with some men wherein they’re drawn to accomplished and intelligent woman, yet resent them for it and want to tear them down.
The first red flag is that he went through your f****** phone the second one is that he told you to block all your mouth friends. You're a grown ass woman you don't need no man telling you what you can and cannot do tell him to bring your s*** to the job and then don't talk to him anymore you don't have to figure out why he kicked you to the curb just be glad that he kicked you. Because when he pulls his head out of his ass and wants to get back with you you should not be accessible. He's goin to make your life a living f****** hell be glad you got rid of him
If an action causes you to bust a nut, it is sexual. ?♀️
First mistake is always telling someone that knows you both. Now there’s no escaping the judgements. Life just got harder. What areyoulogical is spot on. No better advice than that.
Good on you, now stick to your guns and if he wants to convince you to stay together, just tell him his version of boyfriend/girlfriend is light years away from yours and that it can’t be fixed. Try not to engage, just wish him well and put this whole thing behind you for a couple of years. No unblocking for any reason, ok?
Both of y'all need therapy
It's really easy to be “in love” with someone you have no shared responsibilities, hardships, real life issues, etc. If you're unhappy in your relationship either commit to fixing it, or break up. Don't cheat, emotionally or otherwise. You're currently emotionally cheating with a coworker. I won't even touch on how much of a bad idea it is to date a coworker, rarely does it work out well for both parties.
He assaulted you. You DID NOT give consent to be choked just because you agreed to sex. I enjoy being choked, every person who has done this either they asked before doing so or I asked them.
Your culture is also fine with cousin fucking, so forgive us if we don’t give your opinion much weight
His Switch. Why? Because he bought it. Your games. Why? Because you bought them.
Yes it really is that simple, and if he will not respect your property rights you should toss him out on his ear.
“This ham and cheese sandwich on sourdough with homemade mayo is delicious except for this little speck of dogshit in it.” He doesn't want to go to therapy, so he's telling you he doesn't think he needs to change. He's abusive, OP.
Thank you, I really appreciate the advice
I'm going to share my experience and my past behavior instead of just saying “dude, drop her.”
As a result of childhood trauma, I was an attention fiend, more specifically attention from men. It was like a drug to me, I would continue talking to exes and past situationships for as long as I could. I was the girl that would keep dudes on the line because I couldn't go without the attention. I needed to be desired.
In past relationships, I wouldn't block or delete these guys. I'd stop actively talking to them, but if they hit me up I'd still respond. I considered them “friends” and thought oh wow, this is cool and healthy, I can keep talking to them. But no, it was just me wanting them to still be around if whatever current relationship or whatever didn't work out, so I could immediately pivot to one or many of them and still be wanted in some way.
I'm sober from alcohol now and in therapy and I've been unpacking this specific issue for a few years now. I am currently dating the most amazing person, and as soon as we became official I immediately removed any dude I ever had any sort of flirtatious conversations with from my life. Removed them as followers on Instagram, blocked them if necessary, removed them as friends from snapchat. It was like this massive cleanse, and it felt amazing.
I now have absolutely zero desire to entertain any other man. This ONLY came with therapy, healing, and age/maturity.
A 1500 day streak with her ex is INSANITY. She talks to him EVERY DAY. I don't care if the relationship ended well, that is beyond what is normal. Here is my point: that is absolutely something that the past version of me would've done. Unable to cut the cord because I needed the attention.
I truly didn’t see it as that wrong at all as I have her posted everywhere and post her almost everyday, but If she sees it as wrong then it is wrong but why not try to talk it out given the severity of it
3 girls looked him up on instagram? I personally feel like that’s not how girls work, but I thought I just have to take his word for it.
I don't understand why this is strange to you. I'm not a big IG person but my coworkers have all followed me and yes, I followed them back to be polite even though I have no real interest in engaging with their content.
Why are you actively monitoring who he follows? It seems like that's just a recipe to make yourself mad. Is he commenting on these women's photos? DMing them? If he just follows them, I really think you're making a mountain out of a molehill.
I've told him how I hated pep talks and stuff of that nature because deep down I do still hate myself so when he says it to me I just feel so bad, I feel awful because I hate it, so many people would love to have this kind of affection from a partner but I just hate it. I dont know how to tell him to stop without hurting his feelings, and I know he doesn't say them meaningless because thats just how he is, I'm sorry for the ramble