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MOANDAY WITH , “M” OF MOISTY PUSSY!!! THE PERFECT JOI AT GOAL: 333 TKNS!!! EVERY 45 TKNS TITS FLASH!! EVERY 95 TKNS TITS SLAP!!! NO LIMITS PVT!!/spank as 10 [Multi Goal]
Date: October 5, 2022
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Here’s the thing, if one partner tends to get defensive the other partner will get more sensitive. This is because even things that feel trivial to you will feel hurtful to them because they don’t feel seen or understood even in the small things. The more you can show empathy up front for his hurt the less the small things will hurt them as they build trust that you care. But make sure to include yourself and ask him to show empathy for your side too, and look for compromises that you both are comfortable with. If you simply give empathy with out including your own needs and with out him showing empathy for you, then all you’re doing is teaching him his needs matter more than yours. When what you want is for them both to matter the same.
But the issue is deeper than your defensiveness. The way he shared his feelings is the root issue. Instead of saying the vulnerable thing that he was disappointed that you didn’t find his joke as funny as he was hoping, he instead criticized you as being inattentive. He sounds like when he’s hurt he attacks other peoples actions or intent rather than share his vulnerable and hurt feelings.
In that, couples therapy would really help. If that’s not an option, google the problem with unexpressed expectations and how to turn complaints into requests. Because if he can get better at those two concepts, then you’d probably be less defensive as it’s a lot easier to empathize when people share their hurt feelings then when they attack you because they’re hurt.
It sneaks up on you, especially if it happens over a decent amount of time. I put on around 5lbs a year since 2019 – it wasn't enough that I was noticing it really, because even when I was buying the next size up, I was replacing clothes that had worn out but still technically 'fit'. If you're not weighing yourself with regularity, it's easy to not really notice and just kind of accept that this is what you look like.
I'm in the middle of an aggressive cut right now with the plan to continue daily weigh-ins and some semblance of calorie counting indefinitely after that. To me tracking that data is what's making my weight loss possible right now (down over 10lbs and a belt loop since the new year) and what'll likely keep me accountable in the long term.
I hope you find someone extra special for yourself