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Date: November 24, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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The first thing you should do is get your side of the finances in order. Make sure you have access to every account. Download copies of all statements and store them where he can't access them. Any delays on your part give him an opportunity to try to move/hide money. Ask me how I know.
Then you need to hire a lawyer. Even if you don't end up divorcing him, legal advice at the early stages will help clear your head so that you can make smart decisions.
Lastly, individual therapy is extremely helpful. Even if you do decide to do couples counseling, individual counseling is where you will really be able to talk through your feelings and make decisions without him attempting to influence you.
Does he have a job where he is on call, or any other reason why he might need to look at messages? Or maybe he is in some sort of sports betting or fantasy football group?