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Date: November 23, 2022
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You can say – Hey mom, last night you said blah blah about ADHD, so I looked it up, and I think I actually have it. Can I be tested?
It falls under mental health simply because it affects the mind. I wouldn't say it's the same as what most people think of when they think of mental health issues.
A good way to look at it is – if you understand the “problem” you can identify things that will help you navigate and cope with it. That doesn't necessarily mean medication. It might mean more routine, written lists, or a million other things. Everybody is different. If you do have it, and medication is suggested, consider it another tool to add to your coping skills tool box. Coping skills make a huge difference!
While I was in college, one of my professors said – as a mental health professional you can help a lot of people with a lot of things, but you can't “shrink” yourself or your family.” He was so right. I suspect that also holds true for a nurse as well. While we know what we're looking at, it can be hot to be objective if it's your children/family. Good luck! ❤️
He is absolutely making things worse after the fact by clinging to the idea she wants him dead. It’s on him to realize she was probably dysregulated in that moment herself. Either way, one of them made this worse in the moment, and one of them is ruminating after the fact. I’d wonder if this is caused by a continual dynamic of their relationship.
Suggesting that in the moment he should be able to say “you are right, this isn’t life or death” is not realistic. She said something that is designed to escalate his sympathetic nervous response. When someone is escalating you are unable to have a an appropriate social response. He has to process and calm his polyvagal response before he can begin to use his rational brain.