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Ren Just , ❤️ onlyfans.com/renjust, 19 y.o.
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Date: October 25, 2022
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You will be the asshole if you waste any more time or money on this toxic relationship. The trust has been broken and can never be repaired. He stole from you, lied to you and most importantly used you to fund his childish and irresponsible lifestyle. You need to get out now. Gather yourself and your things and move out of the apartment, today. Do not give him any more money! Consult legal counsel about your further financial responsibilities with the unpaid rent. My best wishes to you.
In other words, he’s still abusing you. Tell him to “ F” off and leave it at that.
It really is if you stick to it. You can't stay in this relationship and be happy.
Thank you all for your advice. The general consensus seems to be that I'm over thinking which is typical for me haha. I will continue to see her but be wary of any more clear red flags or attempts to get my help with immigration issues.
I’ve been waiting ten years, I haven’t got a clue what to say tbh.
Dont be a bitch
People fuck in a car. It takes 10 minutes.
I would not say a word. So so rude.
Seeing this for two years should have made you NOT want to accept his proposal.
Again with posting this?
Girl that is all kinds of NOPE. Trust me when I say dump him and RUN! A sane man won't put you through his creepy ass “tests” to pass. I would of went OFF on his ass.
I've been with my sweetheart for 13 years and I don't want to marry. Thankfully, he made peace with it.
Me & husband were in similar spot. We got married at 13yr. He regrets not doing earlier now we’re married.
Here’s the thing. It isn’t up to just him. If that won’t work for u, then speak up. U have the right to leave. But if he ain’t ready after 8 then u can choose to stop waiting.
U can be honest. Look that doesn’t work for me. I want to be married now. If you’re not ready in 8, I’m not staying until 10 to hope to find out.
My husband was deathly afraid of change. He still is. But I never doubted his commitment to me, it was the fear of change. But I should have stuck up for what I wanted. Sorry rambling.
Leave her mate. Have some selfrespect.
Um you sound fuckin rad as fuck homey. Ditch your boring ass boyfriend.
Hmm i get it. Would you brake up with her if she wants to be friend with him still?
Choose your friends. An abuser tends to isolate his victims before things escalate.
In relationship your time with friends does go down but never lose that connection, always make sure you spend time with them. They'll be able to see things about the relationship that you can't.
Are you happier, more yourself in this relationship? Or are you now guarded, scared that doing the wrong thing will lead to a fight later? Choose people that let you be your most natural vibrant self.
But what if her husband doesn’t see anything wrong. He seems to be reading the room correctly. He just isn’t as bothered by this, because he figured it out already, but wasn’t 100% sure. I’m still trying to see what they did wrong, other than be teenagers.
Mom needs to relax and realize no one did anything to her. She’s acting like they did this to her personally.
Stop pretending like I said half of that. I am saying that things aren’t as cut and dry as you and others claim it to be.
I am problematizing the situation and pointing out all the different issues with simply calling him a rapist. And by your standards, I’ve been raped on multiple occasions. Seems you’re the one victim blaming here.
If she climbs on top a few nights in the week and demands sex and he says no 98% of the time, then it’s a true struggle. She only knows that he gives in to her once every two months or something, while eating the pills on the daily. Setting up that camera will probably happen sooner rather than later.
Like some other posters said of the drug: People do strange stuff they will never remember and may even seem coherent or normal.
And it’s true, if she doesn’t take care of her addiction then it will just continue, even if they divorce.
Men’d dress pant hems usually aren’t done by machine. It would be a mess.
Is the older one a superior? Or, are they both teachers working the same job and same position. If it is the latter, you should mind your own business.
wh
If someone is going to break up with you over a joke you're better off without them anyway. Are you going to be tip toeing around her the rest of your life afraid of offending her? I have quite a sarcastic sense of humor and frankly it's the kind of joke I would have made, lol. If she left over that, I think there's something else going on. Maybe you hit a little too close to home, like maybe there is something not right going on with her like she's lying to you about something or cheating or something.
I'm very sorry to hear that, I would recommend taking the steps to get your dog away from that kind of environment.
Putting your kid in time out or in the corner can be called abusive. I want to see you get bit and be calm and collected especially when it’s a surprise.
I mean some ppl get married after 18 months. But marriage is more of a step in the right direction than loaning that much money. Tbh the more alarming part is the other red flags you missed
It looks from the edit that maybe things are working themselves out, but I was going to suggest that maybe marrying someone at 30 that you've ben with since you were, what, 17 has an added kick of, like, finality to it. I'm of the opinion that people have a lot of denial based coping mechanisms around the idea of their own mortality and the relationship that might have reminded him of, like, the first big adult thing he's ever done now reminds him of the last thing he's ever going to do. (Not to be a bummer.)
Is she still communicating with you? Let her take the lead. If you do reconcile, you will need couples therapy. Good luck.
You did a fairly good job of digging yourself into this relationship hole and I guess this is the consequences of your actions. I have a sneaky suspicion that you can say and promise anything you like but it will have no effect. Your past actions and behaviours have shown her that you just aren't that serious about changing. You now doing the same after she has walked out the door will just ring hollow.
Simply put, you now want to change because the consequences are there in your face. If you saw the signs and took active steps to change you would've had a chance. Instead you chose to wait until now. Too late my friend.
Hopefully you will learn and grow from this experience and that your next relationship will be a long and successful one.
Leave her be though. For someone to just up and leave is the surest sign as any that can be given that you two are done.
375 total recorded murders worldwide. Do I really need to explain to you that not every murder was related to their transness and even fewer—maybe none?—were related to a situation described by OP?
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Probably not if it just leaked
you say no homophobia but transphobic asinine comments are okay?
Tell me you didnt read the post without telling me you didnt read the post.
Thank you
Unpopular opinion: age gaps do not excuse anything. They’re both legal adults cause 30 year olds do this crap too. Anyway, the fact you established an agreement you held your end but she didn’t and continues to see this guy. FWB or ex-lover DOES mean you have history with them. She lied to you and you’re sorry for overreacting?? Dude YOU aren’t wrong. She’s hiding way more shit than you think. Check her phone at night if y’all live together.
Other way around
That’s usually what happens, either the avoidant becomes more secure or the secure one becomes anxious. And since you’ve noticed you’re getting anxious, best to call it quits. A relationship that creates attachment issues, ie negatively impacts mental health isn’t a healthy relationship.
Doesn't your friend have any say in this?
She sounds toxic. Sounds like she derives her sense of self worth from putting others down or “successfully stealing” partnered men. She needs a therapist.
I don’t blame you for having no respect for her.
In this situation, I probably would say something and just be done. Like….”Friend, I care about you but I just don’t like you much. The way you treat other people and the way you screw around with married men just isn’t the kind of stuff I want to be around. I’ve tried to just focus on the good over the last few years but I can’t look past these issues any longer. So I’m done with this friendship. Please don’t contact me.”
Wait I’m confused, you walked to your car then next thing you know you wake up and overhear him talking to his wife? Did I miss something? Did y’all go home together? Did you sleep on the car? What part of this story is missing
I would forget I heard anything and stay out of it. Your parents are collectively a mess but not yours to clean up.
That’s what I want. He wants me to use my money right now to buy him Christmas gifts. I have been begging him.
Divorced dad with a young daughter here.
You'll be fine. It's much easier than you think. The relationship with your daughter light become even stronger. You'll meet many single parents and most importantly will have a new start with much more control over your life.
You will do it.
The hardest part is separating. Dealing with your ex, etc. If you're both adults and mature with your daughter's best interest in mind, that should be painless.
Good luck and don't hesitate to contact me if you have questions.
You realize that no relationship stays in the honeymoon phase forever, right?
The grass is usually not greener on the other side of the fence.
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Yeah man it’s time to pack your stuff and find a new place, even if it’s a buddies couch. Let her stew in her bs. That behavior is madness and not something anyone should ever tolerate
Hopefully you follow through
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Yeah I mean he seems pretty weird, but you should have told him you were hooking up with her when he confessed his feelings. That’s just a shitty thing to do to your “friend”.
Probably nothing you can do to salvage the friendship, but it’s just something to consider for your other friendships. Most guys won’t trust you if this is how you carry yourself.
Why are you with him? It doesn't sound like much of a relationship. I would seriously reconsider this situation and ask yourself why! I would also stop inviting him to hang out with you and your friends or family and treat him exactly how he treats you, shut him out. I would've broke up with him after he said about you being around friends and family, that just told me that he doesn't want you around and after 4 years it's not going to change
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Don't forget you don't need her permission to leave
If she is 30 and still playing bullshit games just leave her to him
“Being disrespected and hurt, I can live with. But being disrespected and hurt, I cannot.”
In all seriousness, just get out. You deserve better than someone who will lie, hurt and cheat. You forgiving him for cheating all that time ago is exactly why he's doing it again.
Cheaters, especially ones like this, don't change.
I'm not sure why you're being downvoted for saying that it wasn't rape. A lot of people on here seem to twist their views on what they think the laws should be, not what the laws actually are (eg. rape is an offence, and the definitions vary differently depending on the jurisdiction).
What he did I think would constitute assault / battery and could even be under its own offence, but i'd be surprised if it was as many women would fall afoul of that law if one existed. I know that many jurisdictions are implementing stealthing laws, but not because of the baby factor and more because of the sexual health factor.
PS: Sorry you went through that 🙁
Let it end and save yourself the grief. This headaches are not what relationships are supposed to be about.
OP sounds uptight and with a short fuse just based on the example. Wife definitely knows this, so she kind of walks on eggshells when talking to you about something. Just chill bro
Choke on his cock.
“make us dislike men more”
holy shit the misandry is leaking
Hugged from the back lmao
Girl, it’s been a month. You should still be thinking this guy farts roses – instead he’s hitting you up with glaring red flags for codependency and borderline stalker vibes. If it’s this early on, and you’re already having to fight nude to have your boundaries respected, this is not the person for you.
Trust me, one day you’ll wonder why you even wanted an emotionally unavailable man with another woman’s name tattooed on his ass who is cruel enough to dump someone on Christmas Day. That is not a prize.
If this is throwing you then you are fucked…
This was a shock to both of you and now you’re thinking of throwing away any level of stability that you have built up for yourself and the two children you are carrying.
There are going to be many more things that happen once those children are born and throughout your married life which are going to test and try your relationship so It worries me that this is the reaction you are having.
He is trying to reach out to you to solve this and support you… but you are failing to accept that. You WILL need to work together on many things in life. But instead of accepting the assistance of someone you’ve chosen to be your partner in life you come here and overly dramatise the situation “I can’t breathe” really?? Then problem solved ??♂️
“Please help” – help yourself, talk to your fiancé
Just understand that sometimes people dont know they're going to become jealous and or bitter till the deed is already done.
You're a mess. And an asshole. I highly doubt this is the first incident that almost sent her running. She probably should have left a long time ago. Regardless, you can't fix this. She gets to make that determination.
And no matter what her decision, you need to sort yourself out. And stop drinking.
I'm lewd as well, been with my spouse since we were 16, that was 20 years ago. Sex talk makes him mildly uncomfortable, but he accepts me as I am and vice versa. He knows I say lewd shit to the guys I play games with to joke around, he knows I am never serious about it. It's why we became friends in the first place, just some edgelord IRC BS when we were 12.
You either accept her as she is and trust her, or you find someone with a different personality and let her find someone that will love all the parts of her. That's really all there is to it.
She’s a 66-year-old woman. I’m a little bit nervous that something is going on with her if this is a change recently. I notice older people don’t know how to ask for things they need so they’ll do it in a weird way. But you’re not really going to change her and she is not really gonna go to therapy. I’m not sure what the answer is no I know it’s frustrating.
On the plus side he seems obsessed enough with the list, that if he cheats, you will be able to find out pretty easily. This guy is gross.
I mentioned some flirtatious behavior in another comment. As for the nasty comments, I don’t want to share details as my boyfriend has Reddit and it will make it obvious this is about us. Purposefully changed our ages a bit to make it more anonymous.
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope that you do not let this stand. This is an awful way to treat a partner.
Sounds like a serious kink. And, unless you're totally okay with a poop kink, you have some thinking to do.
You're a pathetic spammer, Graham. She's imaginary, you made this up to have something to spam about.
I see how you might see it this way.
Can you make a greater good argument?
You can sit back and manage the situation with honor and have everything happen to you, your husband taking whatever path manipulated by his psychiatrists and his current negative thinking, or you can subtly tweak his experience so that he experiences what being divorced will feel like once it happens.
I can guarantee you that if 6 years pass and he moves out, and 6 months later says baby I’d like to get back, you will say no. You will be done.
So, in actuality, you are giving him a gift to experience it now when you are willing to work on the relationship.
Anyway, I’m just one opinion, good luck to you.
Thankfully humans can adapt, even if he says “I think I love you too” or “I want to date you” you can just adapt plans around the responsibilities you have to take care of
Yep. I’ve said that to him multiple times.
This is so true. I had an ex like this and it was any time I was out of his sight for even 5 minutes, I must have had insanely quick sex with someone in the building, or I was sleeping with my driving instructor because my lesson was 10 minutes over while we were discussing the plan for my driving test (female, I’m straight, he wouldn’t believe me that she was a woman because he’d never seen her himself).
This was a long time ago but when I look back I’m sure I got very upset and defensive and angry whenever he did those things, not just because the actual suggestion was insane but also because nothing I said was ever enough proof for him. Also turned out he was cheating on me the whole time lol he was pure garbage
yeah, its not the same, but it's close enough. The big difference is Summer says they are not in a committed relationship, and yet he stays there (so 100% his fault). Here, obviously the gf was lied to for 9 years (100% her ex's fault).
No problem hun 🙂 I felt so alone in the beginning , couldn’t speak to my family or friends in fear of outing him when he was not ready to be.
If you have the means to do so, seek some therapy / counselling . I went through a lot of phases of self doubt, thinking I wasn’t “woman” enough and had turned him gay. Ultimately it does not work like that.
3 years on and me and him are living in the same city again and seeing each other for mate dates every few weeks , sometimes with our respective partners . This can work out for the two of you ?
I agree she’s behaving very strangely. I asked my landlord about cutting my lease short or replacing my roommate.
They told me I can’t cut my least short, or else I’ll be fined and subject to legal action.
And my roommate cannot be evicting unless she violates the lease three times- none of her actions count as a “lease violation” so far.
Dude this isn’t about the freaking game. Oh my god. You’re insane. If you care more about sports than your family, you are not a good family member. Jfc.
Do what me and the boys do.
Pretend the fight never happened.
Just break up. Sounds like it’s naturally at its end. Go find someone you actually enjoy being around, who doesn’t have to be asked into behaving nicely
Your mom deserves to know.
Morality aside- the baseline is your father cheated and had another child. Your mother set her conditions for reconciling and he accepted, willingly.
He broke that agreement, and not to mention he is seemingly taking care of this other child better than you, probably because she's a girl and you aren't.
He doesn't deserve to be married to your mom anymore, they both need to part.
12 dates in, and having had sex, is not too soon to ask.
It's not in-your-face misogyny but I'm sure you can see that the tradition of the wife taking the husbands last name (at least in the West, I don't know how other cultures handle last names) is, at the very least, a patriarchal structure that is rooted in misogyny.
If this was the mother being upset, is it still misogyny?
Women can be misogynists (or defend patriarchal culture) as well. Just like how men can be misandrists.
What does the word mean at this point
A lot of people use the term to just describe contexts that are misogynistic in nature. Just because someone says doing so-and-so is misogynistic, doesn't mean they're calling the person a woman beater. That commenter clearly thinks the grandfather sees women as less than men, but to be a bit charitable he could hold those views on last names for a number of different reasons. But he's still engaging with a patriarchal structure. It's still misogyny. Doesn't mean he's a bad person but it's worth calling out.
You talk about loving your wife and that she is your whole world. But it feels like you have already checked out of this marriage. In the end you have to decide what you want in life. But you talk about “normal” like it’s a guarantee that you will find someone “normal.” And even if you do, they could get sick, you could get sick, and there is no guarantee for a healthy child either. Life just a gamble, some seems to have all the luck, others not so much.
I understand how difficult it must be, how exhausting, and frustrating your life must be.I’m disable and as I have gotten older my mobility has decreased and pain management is a daily struggle. You say you feel like your missing out, imagine how your wife must feel, believe me it’s probably 1000x worse. You have the option to leave, she trapped in a body that is betraying her, on a daily basis. She is probably struggling with guilt about keeping you from things you want in life. Whatever you do you have to be honest with yourself, and your wife. Maybe look into getting outside help to ease the burden of being the sole caregiver. You mentioned your wife is in therapy, maybe therapy would help you too.
You need to get out of this relationship. Your post history is alarming.
Yes, if you want to keep being a part of his life he deserves to be fully informed. Otherwise you'd be keeping a friendship under false pretenses.
You need to report it.
The room thing is impossible this because we have a 1,5 bdr apartment ?
You're upset that a person you're sleeping with, but not dating, is texting someone else?
Shit or get off the pot. If you want exclusivity then ask for a monogamous relationship. Isn't the point of this arrangement that things aren't serious?
Extremely insightful info! I’m so glad you mentioned the thing about doggie. While I do enjoy doggie, if a man is too large it definitely hurts more than any other position for me. Having your cervix pounded is not a tickle. I would always just bite my lip and get through it in those cases when I was younger. Now if it starts to hurt I tell him that he needs to not go as deep or we need to switch it up.
OP, a one sided sexual relationship is not sustainable. I know you care about her but dissatisfaction in the bedroom breeds resentment that spills into other parts of your life. It’s only been three months. It’s probably best to move on.
Your mom is right. Try to imagine how incredibly difficult it would be to watch your daughter throw her life away on a violent drug user. The future doesn’t look bright for him. I mean, what would you say to your future child if they were in your position? If the answer is say nothing and be supportive, you’re definitely not ready to be a parent.
Bullshit. He can control it, he just doesn’t want to. You think he talks to a cop that way? Or his boss?
Regarding his intention i agree, but not regarding his following actions. You dont break anyone's nose and arm, no matter how noble your intentions are. He could have done a ton of different things and her father would have learned the same lection without breaking any bones. Besides that you seem to forget that a broken arm in a older age can result in some permanent issues
I definitely don't feel comfortable, in fact, I feel comfortable so rarely that I remember those moments even if they were ages ago. I can't even be silly at home by myself because I think I sound stupid or ridiculous (even if no one hears me). Lately I started narrating my own actions out loud in a singing goofy voice when cooking and I'm enjoying it so much but I have to FORCE MYSELF to ignore the “that's so ridiculous” thoughts or else I stop. I do see a therapist btw but she hasn't helped much
That was my first thought as well. This dude's married.
You don't need to tell her the why, keep professional. Tell her just that you won't be renting out spaces anymore and won't be renewing her contract when it ends. Have it in a formalized notice that complies with the laws in your area….
I'd be having a conversation with him about that line of thinking… Because it assumes that you are wrong and he is right. Your post makes it clear that you're open to the idea that you could be wrong, so why can't he do the same? From your stance, he never told you, so it's not telling you twice it's just telling you once. I know, he believes he already told you once. But if he can't be open to the possibility that he could be wrong, as you are, then this isn't going to go anywhere. Remember… us against the problem, not us against each other.
Maybe give him some hints to move closer so you may help them with the child. A small child can be very stressful to deal with all by oneself and it is also very likely the source of many of the arguings.
Why even be involved with someone that much older? And if he comes off so threatening to you, it already isn't a healthy relationship to begin with.
His snoring is the problem. You being in another room is the solution.
I snore. I’m not upset my husband sleeps on the spare room sometimes. But i also know this. My snoring is worse if I’m over 83kg. It’s worse if I have a cold. It’s unbearable when I’m pregnant. It’s terrible if I’m exhausted.
So I keep my weight down. I accept him sleeping else where when I’m exhausted, pregnant or have a cold.
He also wears ear plugs.
We’re both contributing to the solution. Your husband is not. What choices does he leave you. I’d say to him if he’s hurt because you can’t sleep in the same room “you’re presenting the problem, what’s your solution?”
Lol ok
Why sign a bunch of legal documents when you can just get married? The epitome of hustling backwards.
Lmao I responded to the wrong post. My bad
My man the best thing you could’ve done is not put a ring on it. Keep it that way and if she says something like that again, call her punk ass bluff. She doesn’t respect you because you baby her. She need to come out then diapers.
Most likely he already has someone in mind that he wants to fuck, so he wants an “open marriage” as a license to cheat.
He’s gross. You can do better.
Here’s what I suggest, you open your relationship, have yourself some fun, mourn the end of your marriage. All the while getting yourself prepared for a smooth divorce.
Save some money, consult a divorce lawyer, get yourself ready. Leave him when you have all your ducks in a row.
I feel like another translation of the above comment is he’s going to stay this way. So you either feel so shitty about it that you break up with him or you continue to handle feeling like crap about this going on and getting less than you could be in this whole big wide world of people.
Why not? We offered to pay the person who paid for parking and she said no because her parents paid for it.
So my friend who drove gets to benefit from not having to pay for parking or gas and make more money off the rest of us? And the rest of us have to pay more for gas than we would’ve otherwise?
Everyone has different standards. My bf makes over 200k and I am still on food stamps. He still expects me to pay for my own dates and half of rent and to be a good wife if we live together. If you agree to this now, it will be expected later.
Thank you so much for your wonderful reply. It's the wording that bothers me, she said to this day I still wonder. Maybe you're right, maybe im exaggerating
I've got some advice for you. If you don't want kids, then wear a condom.
Oh, right, it's a little late for that advice. Just do whatever you want to do, but make a decision and do it quickly so everyone else can plan accordingly. Stay and be a husband/father, bail and let her do it alone, or try co-parenting but make the decision and commit to it.
Maybe do some work on yourself to figure out why this bothers you so much?
There is nothing wrong with posting bikini pics on a 24hr snap chat story, not even on her feed, come on. This sounds more like you are SUPER insecure.
The horror, a woman revealing her skin to others. How daaaaaaaare she!?
Sorry
He’s the one who states he wanted “intimate” friendships
Naw, this breaks my heart, my mother loved my father more then he ever did and he ended up leaving us and starting a new family. He still financially supported us but still.. I don't feel remotely qualified to comment on this, maybe professional help is the way to go.
I sincerely wish you and your children well moving foward.
Dude it is your attitude. You can loose weight by eating the worst food and McDonald's even by just eating at a deficit. It is very different from football practice.
Try looking at /r/looseit and other various health subs. Try /r/fat logic as well.
Plus you can take advantage of things right now by gaining muscle while loosing fat early on.
“My Airtag must have fell off my pocket by accident and I’m glad it did! My unfaithful wife has been screwing my HS best friend, my dentist and my mechanic. I am torn, Your Honor! Just defeated!”
People lie, you know?
Thank you for your advice.
What you said about her being a sex toy is quite interesting. I did not think about her objectifying herself.
If that's the case it baffles me a bit because when we have sex I feel like it's very full of love, I always focus on her because I want her to enjoy you know. While it's true that we're still prospecting on what works for her in the bed, I've ''taken care'' of her more than she has for me, so I don't feel like I'm using her you know ?
I'll have a talk with her soon, and I'll ask her why she said that. Thanks.
You’ve only known these people for three months and you think that they should not have a relationship with someone they’ve known for years for you. As long as she is respecting your relationship with your boyfriend, she’s allowed to have friends with whoever she wants.
Are you still living together and serving her like this? If so you need to move out ASAP.
I don’t think you need to cut contact completely, but definitely minimize your exposure to this toxic, abusive person. After all this, she does not deserve your support, financial or otherwise. Let your siblings deal with her for awhile.
She may realize what she has done someday, but by then you will be in a much better place and you can decide if you want to reconcile and how.
There’s one guy who slept with my ex gf years ago when I was still with her. That was a mutual friend we had that I cut off after that ordeal.
I’m assuming I’ll be a groomsman but tbh he hasn’t asked me directly yet, like he’s asked other people. I know I’ll be invited to the wedding wants there date is finalized because we talked about that already.
From my experience he's more likely to lose interest if you continue like this than if you meet him. Taking things slow is fine but you're going a bit extreme here. If you want to be careful you could go to a cafe or have a picnic, but you're preventing him from getting to know you more at the moment. He doesn't know you're voice, laugh or anything besides the words you choose to share. I wouldn't be surprised if he felt you weren't interested.
I know. I'm prepared to hear that I should leave. But I want to know how and that's what stopping me from doing so. I don't want to feel like a monster and rip out his heart and crush it. I want to break up with this man, but I have no idea how, because I have never done this before. Everyone is telling me about my idiocy and my stupidity. I don't need to hear more of that. I know it, and I'm eating the bitter fruits of my mistakes. I just want to know how. Please.
He should also be asked if he would be okay with the idea of his own daughter marrying a creep like young wife's husband. One of the elephants in the room I noticed was the atrocious disgusting way this woman's husband talks about her, and how repulsive to try to facilitate sex with other men like he's her pimp. And everyone, save for OP, is perfectly fine with this. In fact the stupid men then further try to molest her and make her feel even more uncomfortable than she already feels thanks to the pig she married? What in the fuck is wrong with this group of folks?
Yea no shit. Even $250k doesn’t stretch as far as it used to. Times are tough.
No “lol”, girl, you're dating a predator. A grown man who dates literal children. It isn't funny.
It seems like she simply doesn’t want to be intimate with you. Has she has sex before? From a woman’s perspective it’s pretty scary to have sex for the first time. It hurts. And, honestly, most men don’t seem to care.
I would see if she has a timeline or if she’d be willing to set a timeline with you. That way you can both go really slow leading up to penetration night. Prior to that you can do a wide range of other things to get more comfortable.
Guessing things didn't work out with the “more masculine” guy she left you for, so she wants to fuck you until she finds your replacement. Up to you if you are good with that. I wouldn't be.
The thing is I have the tendency of ignoring red flags if the guy is really amazing in bed.
This is very dangerous for you. You need to start fixing this on yourself.
This reads like it was written by someone who has never been to therapy or really paid attention to those who have. It’s none of your business what happens in that room. And you can’t seem to grasp that the way a patient talks about something, as well as the content, is what therapists are paying attention to. Please do some reading and listening and learning and stop hassling your gf about this.
Or is it too desperate?
To…ask someone that you like out?
I think asking him if this situation between the two of you still feels like a FWB might be a good conversation starter…
YOU arent seeing anyone else. He is though.
First of all you should've left like yesterday. But if you really want to get revenge how about you start to not set his alarms to “teach him a lesson”
Brother, get your ducks in order, get a lawyer, and protect yourself. She’s obviously cheated on you and colluded with her mom to do it. Divorce her ass.
You really have two issues here, both though are kinda related and they do lead into each other.
So let's address the first one – the need for her to keep her ex's in her life whilst being with you.
There are two trains of thought when it comes to ex's still being in someones life. The first is that the person wants to retain the underlying friendship (for whatever reason more often down to the length of how long they knew that person, family ties, etc), whilst the second is that there is still some emotional attachment that exists that never went away after the breakup.
Normally when people split they go their separate ways, never to meet again. That's what most people expect and sure they may run into them from time to time, but often that disappears once they (or their ex) enter into another committed relationship. If there are deep bonds then you can expect that the ex may hang around and normally that is fine as long as boundaries are adhered to and it doesn't adversely impact on either persons current relationship.
This though is not the case with your gf and her ex's. As you see, one ex is actively chasing her and far from doing the right thing and shutting it down, she is by all accounts quite happy to let it bubble along. The other ex it's almost as if she is chasing him. That is never a good thing.
Which neatly leads into your second, and much bigger problem. She has lied about these guys to you the whole time.
Not only has she openly lied to you about it, she has even gone to the extent of hiding her tracks. This is not the actions of someone who is “embarrassed”. This is the act of someone who was curiously wondering if maybe the ex is worth swinging back to and upon finding that they aren't now finds that they have to swing back to you.
No wonder then that she wanted to keep it from you. She played a silly game, it blew up in her face and instead of not playing it in the first place, now has to resort to lying and hiding shit to recover what she almost threw away.
You.
So I guess you have two things to work out as to whether she is worth keeping around. Can you deal with someone who still has feelings for her ex's, and can you remain with someone who has found it quite easy to lie openly to you? And if you do forgive and stay with her, what will it be like forever keeping an eye on her and always wondering when the next time this happens is going to pop up. You know it will so do you really want to go through this all over again.
And again, and again, and again?
Is she really worth it and are you happy to always be her back up plan?
Marriage? Do you plan to have kids? Is this the life you want for them? Being mentally tortured so they learn some obscure lesson? If you become a stay at home mother this abuse will get worse.
You’re not really stuck. He’s just convinced you that you’re powerless. If you can just play along. Turn his manipulative abuse against him. If he think he’s won this round his guard will be down. Find somewhere for you and your pets. Perhaps a friend could mind them if you can’t find somewhere quickly enough. Leave. Never look back!
I… am too old for this shit.
You guys are talking about happily ever after after 4 months, you don't know jack shit about the other person yet. you know a watered down 'please like me' version of them. and if this is hers then i'm scared.
You have yet to live together, you have yet to have your first real argument over money or who's turn it is to do the dishes or even the age old dirty sock beside the hamper fight.
You need to dial your expectations waayyyy back, right now you guys are all talk, you have no life experience, no clue about what the real world is or what it takes to make a relationship work.
Start by getting off the bloody computer, get off the effing cell phones and get out, go for a walk, go on a picnic, spend time together and talk. what are your goals, where do you see each other in 5 years, in 10? what are you doing to actively achieve those goals so they are not just pipe dreams? what are her interests, and i mean beyond gaming. what are yours? what was the last book you read? whats your favourite music? choose a movie and debate it, how the charaters behaved, how the movie should have gone, how effing annoying Ted Mosby is. go take a class together, learn dancing, cooking, pottery, paddle boarding. do couples yoga!
GET OUT, You guys are so young you should be having fun together and enjoying life not in front of a screen as it passes you by.
jeez kid, so many experiences to have, so many things to learn and do and you are missing it all to harp over her multitasking while she isn't in front of you. If you want her undivided attention then get her out of the environment that divides it.
True, didn't think of that. Which of course makes him an even bigger AH, if that's possible.
Not necessarily. I know that I likely won’t stay single forever if I leave, I don’t want to hurt someone else, and if I’m that messed up in the head, do you know the saying about people who deserve each other so that they’re saving the rest of the dating pool? If I want him so bad i guess the only one getting hurt is me vs me hurting other people and him hurting other people.
Obviously it’s delusional but if you couldn’t tell my opinion of myself isn’t exactly at at all time high anymore.
Actually, when the time comes, how do I post an update? Do I creat a whole new thread? Can I connect it to this one? Do I just edit this one again? Sorry, first time posting.
Yes right
You can go. You don’t need his permission. You’re unhappy and he doesn’t care.
At a minimum, you should go home to your family for a few weeks to collect your thoughts and get some perspective. If you’re saying “I’m unhappy” and your partner just ignores you, there is no fixing the situation.
You made a mistake, and that’s okay: we all made mistakes sometimes. You married someone you’d never even lived in the same town with, and then moved far from everything you know where you’re trapped in a house all day and occasionally a man comes home and ignores you.
You made a mistake, and now you can correct that mistake.
3mo
You call her up, tell her you need to meet in person and talk. When you’re in person, you tell her you want a relationship with her. If she rejects you, then you end your friendship and move on. Yea, it’s nude, heartbreak is always naked, but it’s what you need to do.
Get back on birth control and tell him that clearly he is wasting your time. Then move on. You will soon be established in a profession and on your way to a full adult life. You don't need to be held back by his dragging feet.