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Date: December 4, 2022
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I think she doesn’t want to lose the comfortable lifestyle that is afforded because you both are together.
Let’s leave all the other glaring issues you have in your relationship for a moment. It all boils down to this one question: You know that your needs are not being met in this relationship. She’s going out of her way to maintain her distance. Why do you still want to be in this relationship?
I read it somewhere here that could apply to your situation: Don’t measure a relationship based on how much you love them. Don’t believe their words, watch for their actions because actions tell you truly about their inner self.
From my experience a cheater (or participant in cheating) will never change you have every right to be ticked off by this.
you are in the wrong. she is allowed to have a past, you do not get a say over that. get therapy or break up with her, she does not deserve to be in a relationship with someone who thinks less of her for being a sexually active adult. she is not dirty or tainted for having consensual sex, and was not capable of tainting or making your first time less special by not being a virgin. you are making your own first time less special by not considering her as a special person to have had sex with, but rather either a “clean” or “dirty” person.
Whether he will or not, he shouldn't. You don't deserve it.
You did nothing wrong imo, he never told you anything about another woman until after.
Prepare to convince him you are NOT a replicant ? Otherwise… he will have you « retired »
No, just basically have given up on life and settling with whoever is ahead in life. Maybe she will pay me back just surprised when I saw my card # on reciept in her pants
Chances are he is taking the risk because of that. I suggest planning about everything first talk to a lawyer or anyone who could help you. And when it comes to your relationship if you're not happy anymore just let go.. you are still too young, go experience life atleast.
He must have one 😉 do some digging, he is 43 … he can't go without
I missed the part where this dbag was married
Take the paternity test. Truthfully, if I had walked in on my wife under the same situation, I would have assumed the same thing he did.
I mean, I don’t know if you celebrate but Christmas is coming up and you could put your feelings into a Christmas card without giving yourself away for overhearing them.
She needs to appreciate that you’re out working nude to provide for your family. Also, maybe explain to her to budget the money that she keeps asking for. Maybe if she got a job whilst kids are at school (if they’re at that age) it would give her something to do and maybe you could cut down on some of the work.
Exactly. She didn't need him to check her phone bill at all.
What should you do about what? Not understanding the issue here.
Are there no limits? I don't mean jealousy related limits, i mean ick related ones. Can he also sleep with OP's sister or mother without her having a right to be upset? I tend to put real friends in a sister style category, that's why i think it does matter.
I also don’t understand wanting to be anywhere near someone things got so bad with from the bits he’s told me.
BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO HAVE DENTAL SURGERY AND NOBODY ELSE WOULD HELP HIM, EVERYBODY ELSE DUMPED HIM & LET HIM DOWN. Now yre throwing a little jealousy tanty about it. Very unbecoming.
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When I started to date my husband, we agreed on a rule that everytime someone flirts with us or makes any advances, then we'll tell each other what happened so that a) we'll know who to keep an eye out for potential future problems and b) to keep ourselves honest in that we wouldn't respond in any way that we wouldn't want to be honest about. If your boyfriend has a similar mindset, then be probably thinks that he's doing the right thing in telling you that someone is making advances on him. The step he's forgetting (unless this happened and I didn't read it) is that he needs to contact the other girl while sober and tell her that he's in a committed relationship and doesn't want her to get all up on him.
I remember when white men couldn't date black women. If they did it had to be because “white women wouldn't have them.” Or if a rich boy dated a girl on the other side of the tracks, it was because he only wanted one thing.
Who the fuck made any of you God?
Maybe he likes the fresh outlook on life that a younger women has. Maybe he likes the different perspective on life they have. Or maybe, God forbid, he likes their perky tits. ( I know that's going to earn me some down votes. Vote away!) But you don't get to decide a person's motive. And you don't get to decide what magic number is “too much.” Is it 2 years? 5 years? 7 years 5 months and 2 days? 10 years?
I'm 2 years older than my wife. Am I with her to manipulate and control her? What if I was 10 years older? I'd still the same me and she'd still be the same person; just a difference in age. Would I now be a creep and a misogynist and an abuser?
Y'all are too much!
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So “Am I stalking her now” was just a rhetorical question. Got it.
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That works until your kid comes out trans or gay
My mom wasn't great to say the least. And my father wasn't really in the picture.
Time to give mom the Spanish Elbow
The thing about parking a car is a Tate line.
You aren’t evil. However, they do not need your drama in their marriage and I am shocked that they haven’t cut you off completely. Whatever your intentions are at the moment, they owe it to themselves and to eachother to put their relationship with eachother above everything else, above their friendship with you specifically. This doesn’t make you a bad person, this doesn’t mean you are evil. It does mean that it isn’t healthy for you to be in their lives right now and to be honest, it isn’t healthy for you to be in theirs. Cut contact. Move on from this guy. Really honestly move on.
It's not that much about the 9 year gap, more that you are just entering your 20s, starting adulthood. You need to discuss with him which are his expectations, see where to go from there.
She’s claims she doesn’t like the photos because she’s been surrounded by women with beauty standards based around makeup. It’s okay to not like a photo, but I don’t think it’s not okay to not like it based off of beauty standards around women like that. So there’s no solution to this? There’s no way I can help her I just let her hate herself for no reason?
ut of course you value your business more than you value her emotional well being.
In what world is it normal to put your ex wife's emotional well being ahead of your career? Particularly when you have a child on the way you need to pay for? Is this some new rule we made up? This will, regrettably, probably suck for her, but she's an adult woman. If she wants out she's free to leave at any time.
The woman is her mother. Understandable how she was not ready to be a mom at the time, she was a teenager that you slept with.
Come on, she was good enough for you to put your dxick in at the time and unload until she gets pregnant, she should get the chance to see her child.
Honestly, going through the ectopic was one of the most traumatic experiences I’ve ever had and I’ve had a lot of those lol as well as 6 other pregnancy losses. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
7 years down the line and a lot of therapy later, I can recognise and understand that it absolutely wasn’t the right time. We were living in university halls, off a combination of student loans and part time minimum wage work, trying to complete our degrees (I dropped out later that year and returned in 2020), and 3+ hours away from our families that lived in opposite directions.
We wouldn’t have made that choice ourselves – I genuinely wasn’t strong enough myself to consider it as an option having already had a miscarriage at 19, even though somewhere in my mind I knew it was probably the best one to take – but it was taken out of our hands. We’re now 28 and 26, 7 years on, in established careers, 3 years into owning our own home, and he has his masters whilst I’m finishing up my bachelors (although it’ll probably be put off for a year as my dissertation is otherwise due around the same time I’m due to give birth!).
I was terrified it would break my relationship too, but we’re still here! You made the best and right decision for you and your relationship, and that’s all anyone can ask and hope for. I wish you and your boyfriend well and all the luck in the world in your futures ❤️
Getting laid really won’t change your life
Damn if my shit was ripped open 4 times, I’d be done with sex too.
Im not very live! either, just wanted to see how much people will belive
All good things to you too bro
That’s good, I was worried about abuse. She may be really insecure but just all the little pieces would make me worry. I guess the best thing is just keep your the calls even is she tries to be annoying. That way she can’t isolate him. Maybe one day she will be out at the store or work and you can let him know if he can count on you if he needs a way out. Maybe she isn’t though and they are kind of codependent. Also maybe you can subtly find out from friends he sees more often what they think of the relationship. I think as you said the only thing is to ignore the behavior for now. You’ve already talked to her live! and in person. Maybe over time she will open up or he will about her.
If she is THAT triggered that you protected her and your home, she needs therapy. I’ve been abused and would actually feel safe knowing that my partner could and would defend. In fact I’d be a bit disgusted, albeit privately I’d hope, if you’d screamed, shut the door, froze, etc.
It doesn’t quite make sense honestly. Does she have ANY reason to believe you’d have a blackout like rage toward her? That is the only reason I can fathom she’d react like that toward you.
Dont answer just move on with your life
But it wasn't a one-time thing.
You said every time you fight your go-to move is yelling, then packing your things, then leaving.
You can only bend a stick so much until it breaks. And you bend the hell out of your fiancé until he broke.
You now have to deal with these consequences. You have to let him heal. And you trying to bend him more will not fix this. You need to let him fix it.
From my own life experience I have found that crazier things happen in life than what we see in movies. I think sooner or later this ends up being true for everyone.
As far as OP goes I couldn’t say either way; just that improbable does not mean impossible.
Sorry you're dealing with this horrific situation! Are you SURE that your girlfriend wasn't doing drugs while she was pregnant? This could have SERIOUS repercussions for your precious Daughter. IF you decide to remain in the relationship, I would make MANDATORY weekly drug tests a must as well as the majority of her paychecks going into YOUR account until you can catch up on bills (I can't believe she could be SO reckless both financially and with the safety of your baby)!
IF your girlfriend is truly dealing with PPD/PPA or depression in general she NEEDS to be under a doctor's care. I'm not sure that I would trust her to take care of your child while you're at work, is there anyone who could watch your baby for the next couple of weeks at least or stay over at your home? HOPEFULLY your girlfriend HASN'T been breastfeeding your daughter AT ALL during these past SIX months! If she has then your Daughter NEEDS to be tested IMMEDIATELY! God, I'm SO very sorry that you're dealing with this! The possible ramifications are truly horrifying! Best wishes and many Blessings for a positive and least damaging outcome!
She’s actively disrespecting you right freaking now, chief. What more do you need?
Some guys have a nude time being honest. I dated a really nice guy who knew I wasn't right for him and he tried to do the “gentle” breakup. We liked so many things about each other and I thought things were OK and I was kind of blindsided when it ended. Mostly because he kept trying to be my “friend” and then telling me how much he missed me and cared but he couldn't be with me at that time. It was a real mind fuck. He told me one day before his wedding that he loved me and invited me to the ceremony. I shit you not.
I'm just trying to save you from wasting your youth on someone who won't give you what you need in a relationship. You deserve so much more.
Run.
2 months? 8 weeks? 60 days? So not worth the aggravation. You’re literally in the honeymoon phase, it does not get better.
Would you have picked up the phone and chatted when you were so busy with work? Texting, to a lot of people, is much more convenient cause your not being pressured to reply instantly like you would on a phone call.
Sounds like the beginning of one of those scam/con documentaries or podcasts.
maybe he likes guys?
His association with choking might be with sinister motive, not for pleasure. Is he squeezing the sides of your neck or is he pushing down on your trachea? One reason why choking is pleasurable is because if you press down on the sides, it slows blood flow to the brain. Maybe explain to him how it's not only psychologically pleasing, but physiologically pleasing too. He probably just doesn't get it.
This is really it, blue balls and all of that nonsense is a myth used to manipulate women into providing sex to men even when they don't want to.
You're still young. Don't waste your time with some asshole that pushes you to do things you don't want to.
I dont know how too use reddit, I can't see the comments people are leaving, someone please message me and tell me how too view the comments.
She is doing you a favour by showing you how petty she really is. Staying with her could be like signing up for a lifelong keeping up with the Jones’ competition.
You answer and you will understand.
I removed my post because of threats, You females are just so upset because I am wanting my girlfriend to be honest why she doesn’t add back instead of lying in Instagram dms
It's tiring to see this type of post. Sometimes I wonder if they're trolls LOL, trying to get some sort of angry reactions from the mass.
So… Since his atheist identity apparently isn't at odds with Judaism, as you repeatedly keep saying over this thread… You think the boyfriend is demanding that the kid go to a Hebrew school that ISNT religious or going to push belief in a God on the kid, and that he is demanding that there be no pork for purely scientific reasons, and not to do with religion?
Can you get another girlfriend if you two break up? Yes. Enjoy your time now. She might leave you one day or she might not. You’re so worried she will leave that nobody will be surprised if it happens.
Just because a girl accepts the beer doesn’t mean she wants the dick of the guy that bought it. He’s risking the beer to get a chance to talk to her more. She can walk off with the free beer and he’s not entitled to receive anything.
Let her cuddle her female friends. If she’s really into girls, you’re only going to delay the inevitable.
If she had been talking about a super nude guy at work who was behaving the same way with obvious mutual attraction and you caught her at his house at 3am after getting wasted with him after their shift, would that make things more obvious?
You are being too eager. Give her a chance to rest and recover and reflect on the night. If she is at all interested, she will text. If not, DO NOT text her again. That would be straying into creepy stalker territory.
Yeah sorry English is not my first language so I didnt know you only use it in the context of dating
i've had unprotected sex with like 300+ women and so far so good, not gonna stop now. Didn't think anyone used condoms anymore