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RocknRose, 26 y.o.
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Date: October 25, 2022
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I know you said he called you jealous and paranoid but that's an extreme reaction that probably comes from guilt.
Well…shit.
If you are THAT organized and self-aware, what is the point of this post?
My ex did this type of thing, I stayed for over a year after this all started. I’d recommend Immediately calling the police. Tell them you are wanting to break up with your boyfriend but he’s slit his wrist and suicidal. They will definitely go over, text him that you’re done when the cops make contact. Let them handle him, walk away knowing you did everything you could.
Cheat on her back and see how she feels. When a woman admits to cheating twice, multiply it by 10. She was carrying in an affair to find your replacement. I bet the affair partner rejected her, first. You are the back up plan. Also, ask her what the name of the AP is. If she doesn't tell you, then, walk away. I would walk away, anyway. Because, if you marry her, you will have to divorce her within 2 years. Save yourself some future money. But, walk away.
I mean, maybe you should go to a sex therapist or even any therapist. You say you've talked to her but that she calls you out for being manipulative and based on your post and responses, you probably are?? You said you'll tell her about getting in the car to show her the severity of the situation.
That's a manipulative take, you're basically going into it saying, look I need more sex or I will cheat on you, I came this close to it already.
I really think if you want to stay in this relationship you need to really understand how your approach can be harmful and do better to communicate. If sex is a deal breaker for you, let it be a deal breaker. Don't try to coerce her into it with threats like this. Be honest, “honey sex is a non negotiable for me. I love you but this relationship isn't working for me, if this isn't something you want to work on I will leave.” And leave if she doesn't want to. That's how boundaries work.
Sex IS a deal breaker for many people, that in itself doesn't make you a bad person, but it's messed up that because she doesn't out out you're actively thinking (in a way you can't stop) about violating her trust, your relationship and causing harm. You complain that people are calling you out on that but it's an incredibly shitty thing to do. And the fact that you're already acting on these thoughts, save me from the “I didn't cheat!!!”, means that you're not being a good partner or a good person. Take a look in the mirror and think about that.
That's mean usually one thing
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WTF why do you keep fucking him, he has and did rape you. He is manipulating and abusing you. Stop being anywhere near him.
Why are you so insecure to think she'll be remembering her exes specifically?
She might remember herself being happy at certain points of her life.
No, current relationship doesn't erase the past.
No, your dick is not a solution to all the problems and people are allowed to reminisce.
Keep this up and you'll be that – just a memory.
Divorce, and take half of everything, including her company.
She had multiple opportunities to end the relationship, but she didn’t, she decided that the best way was to fuck her employee, for over a year.
I think for me, with similar issues I have in my family (I haven't gone NC, but very reduced contact and strong boundaries), I try and accept and plan for the fact that they are very limited individuals doing their best, and try to accept them as they are. I set very clear boundaries about what I will and will not talk to them about things that I don't want to talk to them about. You can decide that you're not going to talk about or discuss your estrangement. Just think up what you're doing to say and do if they push.
So for example, my parents divorced and my dad is a narcissist and I knew he was going to be telling me sob stories about how everyone did everything to him and he was perfect, and I just couldn't take it. So I didn't.
I went to talk to him and the first time it came up I said that I wasn't willing to discuss what had happened with him or listen to him complaining about any of my other family members, and that if he tried to talk to me about it, I would leave or hang up the phone (depending on how we were communicating). I had to warn him once or twice, and that was uncomfortable, but much better than getting dragged into emotional nonsense that I didn't want to talk about.
And I'm really sorry about your family. I can relate to the wide array of feelings that come from having a “bad” family – not getting the kind of love and support that some other people get from their family. It's hot. But remember it's about your family's dysfunction and that you're doing what's best for you by going your own direction and building a chosen family who will love and accept you.
Best of luck.
If incest isn’t a dealbreaker for you may I suggest therapy? ?️??️
I have to wonder how she would react if you told her you were sleeping at a girl that you are friends with house and staying in the same bed. Another thing I probably do since you are close with the family ask them how they feel about this particular habit. Life is to short for this I would move on.
The fact you yet to meet them is a big red flag and she is gaslighting you. Unfortunately I would not be surprised if she is not having an affair with one of them.
Yeah, this scenario is a no from me dawg.
If it was truly about friendship, she wouldn’t have reached out when her relationship ended. It’s sad she’s in a bad place in life, but it’s not your husband’s job to navigate her through this time. She needs a therapist, and friends/family. Not an ex.