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Date: October 28, 2022
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It’s okay bro, I came with the proof and still got downvoted lol
That's literally in every post about cheating, it's usually one of the top comments.
Judge his actions, friend. Not his apologies. (Which are also actions I guess, but you know what I mean.)
It is not shallow at all to consider this a dealbreaker. Take the financial aspect out of it – your bf's attitude is so off-putting, I can't imagine how you would have stayed around after his first rant about life's inequities. This will only continue to grow into a larger rage as time goes on because he will never see the forest for the trees.
Whether you want to hear it or not, the solution is spending less time together. Way less time. Right now, you’re spending A TON of time together but it’s not quality time. When you spend every waking hour on a call together, it’s not surprising his brain is turning you into background noise. Because you literally are background noise to each other’s lives.
I would recommend cutting down to, at the most, an hour call a day and make sure those calls are are fun and interesting. Maybe you could play virtual board games or find other ways to turn these calls into virtual dates. Also I’m sure you know you should see each other in person as much as possible, so try and make that a priority as well.
Less quality time is always going to trump more quantity of time spent together and will also allow you the time to on-line your own lives, both for yourselves, and so you actually have things to talk about when you do talk to each other.
I saw a parallel post this this recently from the husband’s perspective. I saw some really interesting takes on it. One thought was that if the sister looks like the wife and has a similar personality, it’s basically wife 2.0 minus all the reality of being in a relationship. He doesn’t know anything about her bad or gross habits, but he knows everything about yours. That being said, your husband should’ve worked on eliminating the crush on his own without telling you. It’s also really shit that he’s been withdrawing from you.
This seems like a mismatch. Please don’t stay with her just because she moved with you. Offer to move her back to where she came from. It appears to me that you would hate your life if you married her.