As an accountant, that house situation doesn’t make sense. You can back out any point before closing. You may lose your earnest money (deposit essentially). But really, who looks at that and says “lose $5k oooor be stuck in a house with my ex I just left, hmmm?” and chooses the option with the ex?! It’s outrageous. I’d take losing the earnest money as your stupid tax and a payment for your freedom from having to deal with that person ever again.
There are people that really are that dumb, but it still smells hinky. You think someone dedicated to you as a partner would be calling and complaining to you about this rotten deal before the closing (or after) – that she thinks she’s stuck buying a house with her ex, right?
Even if she’s dumb and naive, she isn’t exhibiting god partner vibes. 1) She didn’t communicate with you, 2) her go-to response was to ghost you and lie by omission, 3) she’s living in a house with her current/previous romantic partner for no good reason. From the sounds of it she didn’t have to move in with him. Stay in your apartment or get one you can afford for Pete’s sake.
Right now, if she needed to get out of a mortgage, she’d have to keep dealing with this joker. Both of them have to agree to a refinance, and what if he doesn’t and never agrees to it. (Advice to everyone: NEVER buy a house with someone who is only legally your roommate and not your legal spouse. In terms of Judge Judy, there are no laws for “almost marrieds.”)
You can consider a second chance, but don’t talk to her until she’s ready to be completely single. Tell her to come back when she’s ready, and you can start over and see how you feel about each other then. Meaning living on her own and off this mortgage and deed. She also needs to be completely honest from now on.
I yawned when I opened the link. I'm good.
As an accountant, that house situation doesn’t make sense. You can back out any point before closing. You may lose your earnest money (deposit essentially). But really, who looks at that and says “lose $5k oooor be stuck in a house with my ex I just left, hmmm?” and chooses the option with the ex?! It’s outrageous. I’d take losing the earnest money as your stupid tax and a payment for your freedom from having to deal with that person ever again.
There are people that really are that dumb, but it still smells hinky. You think someone dedicated to you as a partner would be calling and complaining to you about this rotten deal before the closing (or after) – that she thinks she’s stuck buying a house with her ex, right?
Even if she’s dumb and naive, she isn’t exhibiting god partner vibes. 1) She didn’t communicate with you, 2) her go-to response was to ghost you and lie by omission, 3) she’s living in a house with her current/previous romantic partner for no good reason. From the sounds of it she didn’t have to move in with him. Stay in your apartment or get one you can afford for Pete’s sake.
Right now, if she needed to get out of a mortgage, she’d have to keep dealing with this joker. Both of them have to agree to a refinance, and what if he doesn’t and never agrees to it. (Advice to everyone: NEVER buy a house with someone who is only legally your roommate and not your legal spouse. In terms of Judge Judy, there are no laws for “almost marrieds.”)
You can consider a second chance, but don’t talk to her until she’s ready to be completely single. Tell her to come back when she’s ready, and you can start over and see how you feel about each other then. Meaning living on her own and off this mortgage and deed. She also needs to be completely honest from now on.