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Sabina, ❤️, 20 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Sabina, ❤️
Date: October 4, 2022
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my wife always does!!
It sounds like you've been reading too much of reddit. One badly landed joke isn't a red flag, nor it doesn't have to be a precursor to an act of cheating. You haven't stated how long you two have been together, so I won't even guess how well you know each other. What always confuses me with these kinds of threads is how you expect us to know your wife better than you do yourself. You married this woman, you should know if it is a likely scenario for her to cheat or not. And also, if you did marry her I supposed you trust her, right?
On another note, we make jokes like that from time to time with my wife and no one ever takes it seriously because we know that we aren't the type to cheat on each other. Of course this doesn't have to do anything with your situation, just making a point that people who know each other well can joke about stuff like that without any suspicions arising at all. If it's not like that between you and your wife then that's a problem.
You really dressed this post up huh?
Now this is dumb. You know the answer here. You can’t possibly be this desperate and obtuse.
I honestly broke up with you several times in my head as I was reading this. You are not compatible with your boyfriend. Stay broken up.
The dynamic called “the Stockholm Syndrome” where individuals form
a bond with their captors. The roots of the syndrome connect to power and
the ability to express that power. You have had quite a traumatic relationship
with power figures in your life and have selected one to identify with.
It helps that the individual you have selected showed you nurturing and kindly
behaviors. Your responses are not so much “inappropriate” as “mis-directed”.
This dynamic is actually quite prevalent in the Teaching profession where
vulnerable students identify with teachers as authority figures.
You will need some objective guidance to reframe your experience with
the individual you have identified as your rescuer.
No means no.
And it works both ways. If you don't want to do it, you don't have to do it. If she doesn't want to do something, then she doesn't have to do it neither. Intimacy is about 2 people connecting and both having fun, respecting each others boundries.
Um, a lot of the replies so far seem a little extreme.
It sounds like you've had your focus on other things most of your life. Academics, hobbies, etc. and are simply late to the dating world. That's completely fine.
Put yourself out there, join a club, do group activities, and so on. Flirt. Even if you suck at flirting, someone will love that about you.
You're not going to die alone. Breathe, try new things and have fun with it.
People do exist who prefer to take it slow. Where have you been looking for them?
Ps it's great that you're thinking about this and asking questions
It's nice to see a voice of reason once in a while, thanks!
He deserves to know. It’s not going to be an easy conversation but it’s not something you can keep from him. Give him a heads up that you have something serious you need to talk about and set up a time to meet in person and discuss.
I understand you're probably a troll but on the off chance you're being serious – yes, break up with him. He deserves better.
Usually Im very much on the side of the gamer boy since i have friends who “stayed gaming late” but only started in the first place because the wifey or gf rejected them a few minutes earlier because they were watching a show or some BS like that. This time, you're absolutely Right. You've actually done way more than what's expected. At this point he is fully aware of what he's doing. You should not take this direct disrespect against your needs and tbh there's not a single thing more you can do at this point. I sugest a breakup. Good Luck OP!
Gosh, what could be going on? WHAT COULD IT BE
IT IS A MYSTERY I SAY
Cutting cold turkey from alcohol is worse than baby steps.
Withdrawal of alcohol is one of the very few drug withdrawals that can cause death on its own.
Benzo is another example.
So yeah, baby steps it is.
Oh yes absolutely.
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You can be disappointed he wasn't the one, but you can't grief like he was the one and you missed out. You'll find someone else who's more appreciative of the sacrifice and efforts you put into the relationship unlike him.
It’s sad to me that you don’t see that this is not a healthy relationship
People like your boyfriend, who hate for no fucking reason at all, can’t give you a healthy relationship
Provided you are telling the truth – I would say she’s threatened by her sister and instead of processing those emotions like an adult she’s accusing you of being a pedo instead. I wouldn’t want to stay with someone who makes wild accusations out of jealousy. She’s most likely trying to bait you into saying something to make her feel better about herself instead of just accepting that you didn’t look at her sisters butt. That or she’s just going crazy to go go crazy. Get your ducks in order and leave. Chances are she’ll only escalate
Do you think it's b/c you've startled her? If she wasn't expecting it, like coming up from behind? I'm not saying you were wrong for leaving and walking away but to give a little insight, I used to sometimes get an involuntary angry response when I got startled. Like a fight or flight response and my reaction was to “fight”. I've experienced it with my kids too but I've controlled it b/c I would never want to lash out at my kids. I just got scared for whatever reason. I also sometimes got this involuntary flight response if I felt smothered and I'd feel a bit claustrophobic in that moment. It was random and and an uncontrollable internal response. What I could control (mostly) was my outward response and years of me realizing it wasn't a normal response and working on my reaction and I think I've finally broken free because I haven't thought about it for years until reading this post. I can't explain it nor was there any reason for me to have this reaction. No trauma. But I can get where your gf was in that moment if she is like me. HOWEVER what she could have done in that split second that she looked at you and then reacted was to choose to react differently. Especially if she's been talking to a therapist and this is a real thing and not just her being a jerk. I had to learn to choose to react different and now I just do.
I think you need to start thinking long term here.
No matter what at this point the relationship with your girlfriend is likely beyond the pal and will never recover. So I’d immediately strike the idea that you want to fix that into your decision making.
Second, the things with the guy, you say you’re in love but how does he feel about you? Does he want a child? Is he in a place emotionally, mentally and financially to help you raise a child? Does he have the skills and the motivation to be the father you’d want for your child? None of these answers are eluded to in your post
Third – are you prepared to move forward with this child in the eventuality he DOESNT leave his girlfriend (your former friend) on which case you’d likely be subjecting your future baby to a significantly toxic environment.
Honestly, It seems to me you are confronted with a choice, you can remove yourself from the two of them, raise this child on your own (assuming you continue to go through with the pregnancy) and go no-contact outside his court appointed visitation rights/support obligations, assuming you or he even chose to pursue them.
You can see if he will leave his currently flame to be with you as a family, however I’m not sure your level of commitment to the family, understanding that you weren’t his first choice, he would be leaving his first choice for you and only under an Obligation to so. There should be some thought that he can not or potentially will not want to be monogamous with you as that’s not the relationship he has historically pursued, thus do you want this type of man raising your child with you?
You could just try and balance the two. Hopefully someday your BFF will wake up and say “let bygones be bygones” and your split family of you being a single mom and the dad having visitation works out
Let it be known from the start, if you pursue this last option, you will have NO POWER to stop who he brings that child around in his own time barring proof they are a clear and present danger to your child that a court will agree with you on. Meaning that if you decide to do this split home, and your child is around your former friend who hates you, you won’t be able to bar the father from taking his and yours child around her. You will simply have to understand that you are in a disadvantaged situation and that’s the way it’s going to be
I 100% wouldn’t want someone going down on me if I haven’t showered within the last couple of hours.
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If you're absolutely sure your information is solid, I imagine Jake would want to know that his wife has been messing with another man.
Hey, your body your choice.
But also his relationship, his choice.
If he is uncomfortable with you showing your ass and titties to the world, that’s his right to feel uncomfortable.
He is probably proud of you and your body as his wife, and he most likely feels that sharing it with others all over the internet devalues your relationship.
Also men typically see this kind of behavior as a major red flag when in a relationship.
(I know from experience)
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Well this sounds delightful. How fortunate for your children to be raised in a warzone to prepare them for the upcoming WW3. What is wrong with you? Divorce her already.
I mean i don’t know, that’s clearly only something you two would know. I think communication is key, he doesn’t seem to want or know how to communicate. I didn’t say you don’t allow it, I’m just saying I’ve seen so many posts where women don’t allow their partners to masturbate and everyone says “that’s fine that’s a boundary you can have” then when it’s reversed it’s somehow controlling. I personally think it’s controlling and wrong to expect, let alone have rules about your partners masturbation activities. That’s me. I was just kinda taken back with the double standard but it is Reddit and that’s not exactly reality so who knows.
I think y’all need therapy to learn to communicate with each other or this won’t last.
This is rug sweeping results
Just because you had one make up conversation doesn't mean her hurt went away. It's quite possible that she feels unseen.
Yeah I know and she has said that once she graduates from college in a year and a half she will tell them but I don’t know if I want to wait that long
My husband is an addict and a compulsive liar… He is the captain of gaslighting. This is textbook gaslighting.
he could orgasm without porn though, and if he can’t then that’s an addiction and he needs help.
Not gunna lie I just imagined this.
Just going to say (without reading other comments) that as a man if he’s not ready now after all this time and the journey through IVF then he never will be
Wow. How can y’all afford the ones you have?!
Don’t date your friends ex’s ever. You will lose the new guy sooner or later but your friendship will be lost forever. Unless you don’t care so much for your friend. Even if she says its ok it’s not I promise you.
Oh shit! ?
Are you sure the soup and tea he gave you (after stressing you out to the point of being exhausted) didn't make you feel even worse? If someone is willing to hold you hostage I don't think chemical sedation is beyond the pale. I wouldn't trust his brother either, what if he's equally weird and untrustworthy? Who are either of them to decide what's best for you? You're an adult, not a child or pet, neither of which should be forcibly restrained either. This was a test to see what he can get away with in the future. Fail his test and leave.
This isn't a lack of HRT and ADHD meds. Grumpy or flighty, I would understand. But assaulting you in the middle of the night? Flipping out over a botched MickeyD's order?
Sounds more like a mood disorder or BPD. Maybe a psychiatrist is in order.
You pretty have it in hand.
Even if you were with a girl, the situation would be the same. They have learned your boundary the naked way.
Tell them you still wait for weekend birthday.
You definitely block them and move on. Meet people in your training and/or career. Never apologize for defending yourself in this manner. Her insults were beyond the pale. Congratulations on your supportive husband, loving sisters and kick-ass career.
Err what? There aren’t multiple ladies in this story bro
She's setting him up for failure. Because if she wanted to prepare him, she would explain why each step he made WAS WRONG.
Maybe your wife wants to be the only champion ? and doesn't want her son to be as good as she is or even beat her. This is textbook jealousy.
Don't be surprised when your son is 15 he will be bitter at the fact his mother gave him the impression he was excelling when he was actually failing.
I definitely think the guy is into you if he’s asking you out for drinks. That dude don’t care if you’re dating Godzilla, he’s shootings his shot. Men and women can be friends but it usually doesn’t start like that.
Regardless, your bf sounds like a real loser with this whole “beta/tamed” nonsense, so hey maybe this guy asking you out isn’t a bad thing
Sounds like total love bombing and literally exactly like my ex. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
Hey listen, I know we have some different ideas on this, but I would like to thank you for taking the time to explain yourself. I can understand what you mean by living up to standards and such, but dude!, this is human nature! Girls and Guys like to get together, duh! Too many is not good, if course, but thats where our differences lie. My soul mate had some partners along the way from elementary school thru college(6), then he met me! I had fewer partners (3), but still. So, because we loved each other, we lifted each other up and became better people naturally as we learned together, explored together, volunteered in the community. It was the high respect we had for each other, the devotion. Personally, I would try to be with the person that makes me laugh, truly cares about me, respects me, and genuinely wants to be with me, than letting them walk out of my life because they naturally had been in a relationship before. That's just me, though. I do hope you find your special person. I just think you may be missing out on someone truly great.
After reading your post history, the reletionship you had with your ex is unhealthy.
But somehow, you two always make your way back to each-other.
You need to end that cycle and completely move on.
You're falling into your own trap, even with this post:
idk why but I miss him
You have to close all doors to him. Stop giving yourselves a path to each-other.
And one way you can protect yourself from this, is fully committing to no contact. You delete socials. You delete his number. And you block all forms of communication.
Put him as far away and out of your mind as possible.
Only then, will you be capable to put a lid on your emotions and put it behind you.
You should put significant effort to move on from this reletionship, its toxic. You could have something so much better, but the past is a ball + chain to you.
If you can’t bring it up to your therapist I really don’t think reddit is going to help you. Your therapist is there to help you and listen to you, you should definitely being this up if you want to work on it.
Is it legal to transfer money I put in our joint account to mine before divorce? I would like to do that, I also have to pay taxes with him though. I’ll be back in the States mid March, waiting for that to contact a lawyer.
Consider getting yourself into therapy. It sounds like you may have created a world in your head that doesn't exist.
Damn. Nailed it. Well done.
Seems they don’t like him and it seems you don’t like your sisters bf bc you’re jealous
I don't even know that song, I missed out! ?
You’re right. I want to believe that I could hold myself accountable and better myself by staying consistent and regularly structuring a way to give myself constant reminders to be a better partner and journaling where I can be better will work. I want to believe I can commit to that and that I won’t just get too comfortable after some time. Im questioning whether or not I’m capable of that too, which is what makes this so hot to accept. I’m drowning in denial that things are irreparable.
I guess where I got so confused is that there were moments that I never read as warning signs outside of us acting like a couple. Up until last week I would still receive texts from her saying that she misses me. That I’m her lil goofball. That I’m her rock. Last week she sent me a text saying that “she hates being apart from me :(” (we live 30 min away from each other). The day after that she said that thinking about me always makes her smile and that I’m the perfect complement to her. This all made me feel so confused because the whole time she said she allegedly had started doubting our relationship, we would text like this to each other all the time. We would have great sex. We would flirt. We would laugh with each other. In ways our relationship got stagnant but in other ways I guess I was also under the impression she was still in love. I really didn’t know what to make of that
I don't get why people take cheaters back. That was your first mistake
Maybe ask her?
Ahh, I understand completely. Honestly, from your POV that would hurt me so kudos to you being able to take that and have a mature conversation about it. I also understand his POV, and if I were you I would be thankful that he communicated clearly what he wants out of this relationship.
I say try changing your perspective. Yes, you had a fast metabolism, but were you healthy? Does the food you eat make you feel tired and sluggish? Sugar rush and then crash? Your diet affects your daily life, hydration levels, nutrition, all of that affects you daily and long term. I think you should try to look at it in terms of health and longevity. We get around 80 short years on this earth if we are lucky, don't you want to make the most of it? Do you want to live a long, happy, healthy life full of adventures with your partner? Eventually your choices will catch up with you far beyond weight and beauty.
Fair point, I should've said one he needs to work through if he wishes to continue in the relationship
Sometimes, I have sometimes even slept with them and end up getting friend-zoned.
I am not sure why that is a big deal. were told to not tell anyone were not close to what we do for work, even if we think it's anonymous for our own personal safety. That is all I can say really
If he is the one who wanted the big deal then why isn't he involved?
No need to be rude. But regardless, he only recently started depicting this behavior. So for starters, I am trying to figure out the best course of communication to him.
Yeah it never works. He just wants to pork some chick meanwhile you’ll get lots of attention and both regret it. Just don’t
Yeah it’s a red flag that she’s potentially bored of u and seeking attention/ validation elsewhere
Again, I think it's coming from insecurity because she thinks everyone assumes I paid for everything.
Sure maybe she could but it’s the reason that bothers me, and the fact that she knew I wasn’t home and assumed I was lying about that to cheat
Just read your update. He seriously compared rape and murder to a family eating dinner? I’m sorry but he sounds very far gone at this point and NOT the person you entered into a relationship with and likely won’t ever be that person again. He sounds like he has gotten more forceful, and aggressively controlling and I do not imagine that will change or you will be able to reason him out of this state of mind. The only thing you can do is decide if you want to allow this man with his absurd demands run your life and be brow beaten and snarled at anytime you want to meet up with family for thanksgiving dinner or eat at a normal restaurant. Dare you bat an eyelash at a piece of steak, he will really tie you to the whipping post. Does that sound like a good future for you?
A quick reminder: You don’t need to stay in a relationship with someone who treats you like shit.
Because you’re telling her now after months of dating about some girl you slept with when you guys barely knew each other. It’s just bringing drama into a relationship that doesn’t need it. If my boyfriend told me that after so much time, I’d be wondering why he told me and if there was more to the story. Why does she need to know this information? I’m 100% sure she was seeing other people as well.
Ew, wtf! This man is a creep. Why would you be with someone who constantly asks about multiple women in your family? This isn’t only odd, it’s disrespectful and creepy. Major ick.
His sexual “jokes” are not jokes. This means he’s thinking about her sexually…not a joke at all. Does she feel the same about him? Because of she doesn’t, how creepy for her; I’d feel violated if a colleague was making sexually explicit comments about me.
When you confronted him about it, he acted like it was an incredulous statement, as if you didn’t have evidence suggesting that he does like her. You should get therapy because you called him out…GTFO.
Find yourself a man who loves all of you and isn’t an immature horn dog. My partner thinks I’m the hottest lady around and let’s me know that. We have great flirty banter and I’m the only one he has ever referred to. This is basic shit. Fuck this guy, OP.
He also lied because if he is so addicted i do not believe for a second he stopped.
Stand up to your family or you will lose more boyfriends
I'm really sensitive as well and I cry all the time in front of my wife. But that's a little ridiculous. I would 100% say the same thing you said.
Hey, I've been with ATT for over a decade and have never known of a plan where you can't remove a line and create a new account with that phone and the same number. The original account owner has to “sign off” on it. That's it.
So my first piece of advice would be to call ATT and inquire about that.
Second piece of advice, if doable, is to get your own plans for anything shared with them. Phone, Ring, etc. Yes it'll strap you a little more for cash, but you'll have the freedom and autonomy you undoubtedly deserve.
Good luck OP, and if you can keep us updated.
I don't understand how you fucked up. You had a night out (where he messed around btw) and you didn't go home at the same time as him. You're in your early 20s. Enjoy your life
How do you fix this? There is nothing to fix here – not with your behaviour anyway
That's a naked no for me. “The trains weren't running” isn't an excuse. How irresponsible do you have to be where literally your ONLY option is to go to a place with another guy, who just happens to not even own a couch? Not even a chair that leans back?
She could have planned better, she didn't. There were many times over the night she could have made other choices, and she didn't. She could have found a different friend to stay with, a different way home, she didn't. Everything had to go exactly the “right” way for her to end up in bed with another guy, and it sure did!
There's a chance something happened, but even if not, it's just disrespectful to sleep in a bed with someone else like that when you have a partner.
Very insightful. Thank you.
You need to be single for a while to collect your thoughts and emotions. Clearly D is the next best thing kinda guy.
Yeah these are the people that are so desperate for a relationship that they will beg, borrow, cheat, lie and steal for one
He is just trying to tear you down. I don't know anyone with any class who would say something like this. Turn it around on him and dump him. You deserve better.
You can convince him by not opening your legs. Bounderies and consequences.