These children seem to all be from his youth (donno how old he is but 15/16 is a while ago). People make stupid decisions when they are young and invincible. Not using a condom could easily be one when the effect that has creating a life isn’t “real” to a young person.
He is trying to do the right thing now and do the best he can to fix what his younger stupid self did. If he didn’t do this, would be be the man you love today?
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
I know a couple just like this – except he's one of those “old-fashioned” kind of guys, “the man is the head of the house and makes all the decisions and the money and the little woman cooks and cleans, and spends his paycheck (or, rather, the allowance he gives her from it – which, to be fair, is a very appropriate amount).” They have a happy marriage because they each stay in their lane. She knows more about TV and movies than your gf, but I doubt seriously she read any books even when she was in school (she graduated from HS, but just barely). She doesn't know and doesn't care about things happening in the world. They have three little children, and everyone is content in their home. You're not content. This isn't the relationship for you.
It’s not about the list, OP. It’s your husband sitting back and allowing his sister to treat his WIFE this way. You’re not upset over a piece of paper, and they will all absolutely gaslight you into believing that. This is about the repeated cycle of abuse and bullying from his entire family and him doing nothing to stop it – FOR YEARS. You absolutely deserve to divorce and walk away. Don’t even mention the list. Tell him it’s his family and his inability to stick up for you and you’ve had enough.
He lied, he hid it from you and, when he allegedly stopped due to being sorry, he still didn’t come clean.
I honestly wouldn’t care if my partner would have that secret account, but he would have told me the day he made the account. Hiding any part of you from the person you are sharing your life with is a waste of time for everyone involved.
Why?
These children seem to all be from his youth (donno how old he is but 15/16 is a while ago). People make stupid decisions when they are young and invincible. Not using a condom could easily be one when the effect that has creating a life isn’t “real” to a young person.
He is trying to do the right thing now and do the best he can to fix what his younger stupid self did. If he didn’t do this, would be be the man you love today?
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Hello /u/John_weak_the_third,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
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I know a couple just like this – except he's one of those “old-fashioned” kind of guys, “the man is the head of the house and makes all the decisions and the money and the little woman cooks and cleans, and spends his paycheck (or, rather, the allowance he gives her from it – which, to be fair, is a very appropriate amount).” They have a happy marriage because they each stay in their lane. She knows more about TV and movies than your gf, but I doubt seriously she read any books even when she was in school (she graduated from HS, but just barely). She doesn't know and doesn't care about things happening in the world. They have three little children, and everyone is content in their home. You're not content. This isn't the relationship for you.
I think you know what you need to do.
It’s not about the list, OP. It’s your husband sitting back and allowing his sister to treat his WIFE this way. You’re not upset over a piece of paper, and they will all absolutely gaslight you into believing that. This is about the repeated cycle of abuse and bullying from his entire family and him doing nothing to stop it – FOR YEARS. You absolutely deserve to divorce and walk away. Don’t even mention the list. Tell him it’s his family and his inability to stick up for you and you’ve had enough.
He lied, he hid it from you and, when he allegedly stopped due to being sorry, he still didn’t come clean.
I honestly wouldn’t care if my partner would have that secret account, but he would have told me the day he made the account. Hiding any part of you from the person you are sharing your life with is a waste of time for everyone involved.
I have a bridge to sell you.
He's catastrophising over an accident, he should learn to deal with that before having future kids because he will fuck them up mentally.