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sandra_sw and bigmen_ , ?Give our more pleasure???PVT IS OPEN, 24 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms sandra_sw and bigmen_ , ?Give our more pleasure???PVT IS OPEN
Date: October 14, 2022
Iām so confused as to why people are giving you shit here. Does your girlfriend actually enthusiastically participate in sex when things are more focused on you and not her? Because a thirty minute sad shitty blowjob isnāt making anyone cum. The main takeaway Iām getting from your post is it sounds like your girlfriend feels selfish or has weird views or feelings around pleasuring her partner. To me (26f for reference) it seems like you guys need to have a conversation about what she could do to make things more enjoyable for you. You said you donāt really watch porn but does she? Maybe watch some together, preferably some amateur realistic stuff and not āpornā porn because itāll be better for this situation.
Iām sorry people are just immediately accusing you of being a porn addict with death grip, people love to just chalk it all up to men being creeps dependent on porn and masturbation and it could never be a problem with the woman in the situation. Good luck
The beast sleeps whither and when it's woken ppl are broken and hurt. It's over now get as far away from himself u can, press charges against him. he dug his hole he can rot at the bottom alone.
Hmm yeah sounds like a bit interested.
If probably just say back āah ok. Well it was fun getting to know you, let me know if you wanna meet up againā
And try to move on.
For the future I think a good rule of thumb is to try to match the girls interest / intensity level towards the beginning. Women in my experience typically are slower to decide if they wanna jump in to something and the more collected and calm you are at the beginning the more likely it is you wonāt scare them by moving too fast.
Sorry bro!
Whether this has anything deeper than what the gf has expressed (some people just… dont enjoy certain acts…) i think op should make sure not to reccomend therapy over this o.o
That seems wildly intrusive about an (as far as op is aware) absolute non-issue.
Thank you this is good advice, although she hasnāt mentioned to him that she knows.
On the bright side, if you do start up with her, you won't have to worry about “progressing” the relationship much in the future!
And if you don't, and take your time getting to know each other first, then at least you'll know if/when she starts seeing other guys.
If something bothers you, you say it the second it comes up. Don't wait for it to start eating away at you.
Thank you. That really cheered me up ?.
They all say that. They even keep saying it after they already did it.
Yes. I had an ex who punched walls/doors/etc. Was never violent with me but was emotionally awful, mentally ill, and just all around terrible. Don't try to fix him, just go.
You know there is a problem, sheās not addressing it.
Get her family and friends involved, and if that doesnāt work, then you might have to give her an ultimatum, that she gets help or you divorce and take your daughter from her. You can tell her that with her mental health how it is and her not getting help with it, the court will likely only allow supervised visitation for her.
He also has a thing for tacos.
This is all great advice, ty. Talking about how nervous we both are and being able to laugh about it did help a lot.
Facts thank you so much
No, that is not even close to the definition of “gaslighting”.
Already told š
Itās common for people to feel a sense of comfort and familiarity with someone they have been with for a long time, even if the relationship is not ideal. This can be especially true for people with autism, who may struggle with social interactions and communication and may find solace in the predictability and routine of a familiar relationship. Being alone can be intimidating and overwhelming for some people, and they may prefer to stay in a familiar, even toxic, relationship rather than face the unknown.
What does someone look like who hasnāt donāt sexual stuff?
I think you need to break up and deal with your issues around sex and why itās such a negative thing for you.
Finally a sane person
You need to never talk to this person again. Heās dangerous to you and using the threats of hurting himself to try and force you to do what he wants.
Call the police if he is hurting himself/threatening to, they will check on him. Also tell them the threats he is making against you so itās all documented. Block him everywhere and make sure your family/friends know this too for when he starts coming around looking for you, which he will.
Geez she is trash. Kid or not break up with her. She is so nonchalant about the cheating, which means she is gonna do it over and over. Get dna and never marry this trash.
He asked me if I was interested after he found out but I was traveling when he asked..
I didnāt ask him about being just friends. I was only thinking it
And he canāt because of the distance
Some people choose not to shower often, some people choose to not use deodorant or brush their teeth. Unfortunately you have done what you can. You stuck to your guns and left for awhile but Unfortunately this still wasn't enough to change his behavior. If this is a game breaker then it's time to be firm and move on once again. He won't change until he truly wants to maybe losing you might be the changing moment for him. Unfortunately this won't benefit you but may make him a better suitor for future partners.
Yes.
he's grieving hard-core. people on here~ leave him, he's terrible, dump his ass. Has anyone said, this man needs grief counseling and serious help stat!
Get him cash and something small and thoughtful
So, you neglected her. Which was making her feel as non-important to you. Then you spoiled a coworker. Which made her feel even less important, because you clearly were treating someone else as important. Since you didn't understand this very obvious problem, that was way deeper than just the trainer you bought for your coworker, she got angry and couldn't just let it go. So you decided to break up with her. She then decided that, since yes was newly single, she could have sex.
No, OP, she did not cheat. But it makes anyone wonder what kind of relationship you had with this co-worker that deserved better treatment than your ex-girlfriend.
This was my mom for 40 years. Please just fucken move. Dont be deluded into thinking hell change, he wont.
That's just immature. Tell her to buy the bed if she wants it so bad.
I'm going off genrral assumptions as you didn't give alot of context. And you are right the average body count is 9 by mid adult. Again, not trying to mean or anything, just giving one man's opinion. Don't mean anything by it.
Iām not a girl and even I know if a dude pushes the head down he is a dirtbag
America has secularism built into the roots of their government, declaration of independence, their money, etc. What are you on about?
Honestly if I was in your position I'd probably accept the shoes out of shock. Normally when something throws me off guard I freeze up and it takes me a little to process it. I think people are being to hot on you especially since you offered to return the shoes.
Also I think people are once again making a woman responsible for a man's actions. There's not enough comments on here talking about how inappropriate it was for HIM to do this. Only that you accepted the gift. I guess it's easier to put the blame on the woman than to hold a man accountable for what he chose to do.
In my opinion this is a issue between your BF and his brother. I'd make it clear to your BF your not going to accept anymore verbal abuse over this and tell him to go fucking talk to his brother about boundaries. They are his family therefore they are his responsibility to deal with when they cross boundaries.
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It seems from your own words there wasn't really an office break up, you spoke of a break and space.
I thought we were on the same page about at least taking a break from each other.
A break and a break up are different, I feel like perhaps you wanted to soften the blow so accepted the idea of a “break” over making things totally clear with where you stood and that this was ultimately the actual end of the relationship.
Keeping that constant contact likely simply solidified to him that “hey, this could work, we are both making efforts”
Break ups are hot, it's difficult to let go of the security of a relationship, of the things that became habit, like checking in on each other, meeting up, gift giving etc, but often doing stuff like that muddies the waters and makes things confusing for one or both parties.
It's best to make a clean break, and honestly I feel sooner is better than later. Face to face is preferable, but also because of your distance it makes it difficult. He's likely seeing him booking this hotel as like a romantic meet up, finally seeing each other after being long distance. So because of that I would suggest you call him, not text.
Be totally honest, tell him what you thought was happening and that you've now had the realisation that you've been on totally different pages, let him know you now realise how you went about it wasn't clear and that you understand that was wrong. Make it clear this time. And honestly, I think the best thing to do from there is totally cut contact, give both of you time to heal and move on. Don't make things complicated and move on. It doesn't have to be a bad break up to cut contact. But in my opinion it's often far more healthy and helpful to remove yourselves from each others lives, especially when the end has been more on one side.
Good luck.
No. I was talking about what she said…never mentioned myself… I get that you're trying to catch me in some gotcha moment but youre literally using the most easily explainable examples LMAO
They probably assume you are going to convert if this relationship continues. It's not uncommon at all for people in this type of religion to be extremely warm and welcoming, which is later leveraged into gradual pressure to convert. They will be smiling the whole time and never pushy, that's a tactic to make it seem like it's not as big of a deal as it is. Then things get more and more restrictive once you're locked in. Just like any deeply dysfunctional organization, not everyone who participates is going to be outwardly psycho and frothing at the mouth. But there is no healthy, non-restrictive way to be in JW.
r/exjw might be a good place to do some research and get feedback on your situation.
Shes been begging for a dog for 5 years now,
This is what i dont get, shes an adult, if she really wanted a dog, she could have adopted a dog years ago!!!
Weāll if it were that easy I donāt think weād be here right now. With the rapid rise in cost of living and long term financial goals being obliterated by the economy weāre making sacrifices. Didnāt exactly get around to make a wait and pro and con list.
Was hoping to make the best out of a less than perfect situation
Iām 31. I want you to know that there have been many times in my lifeāin romantic relationships, friendships, work relationshipsāthat I thought āif Iām willing to do anything for this to work, it will.ā
Every single time it ended in my own emotional and mental destruction. I was putting others before my own health. I was under the (false) impression that if you try really really hot you can make anything work.
This is not true in relationships. This is because it takes two compatible people to make any relationship work. You can try and try and try as hard as you want but the fact of the matter is, YOU and your EFFORTS are not the problem. There is no āfixingā what youāve got here. There is nothing you can do. Unless you are willing to accept you will not be having sexual relations with this man until he is ready, there is no relationship. It will only destroy you further over time.
That is my warning to you, take it or leave it. You can try and learn for yourself and then deal with the devastation in the aftermath. That is likely the only way you will learn, not from a Reddit comment.
So, I wish you peace and grace in handling this situation and taking care of yourself. Good luck.
Heās a fucking psycho, wtf? Itās 100% normal to cry at any funeral. Nothing embarrassing at all about displaying grief in that context
It's not wrong to keep your place as is if it doesn't keep you stuck in the past. Maybe at some point you could have a look at putting some things in storage, for example, only keep the stuffed plushy in plain sight. Don't feel rushed to do this though. It is your process and your house.
Thank you. I remember feeling like this with every breakup Iāve ever had and getting through it, but this is the first time I thought Iād found āmy personā so itās extra painful!
Find someone who likes you and wants to spend time with you.
Itās quite odd, Iām friends with a few exes but not like that, there are boundaries because of history.
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If you love her and donāt want to lose her, stop breaking the deal multiple times. Love is a choice and youāre not choosing her.
Thatās not the same as sending someone unsolicited porn out of the blue. Did you ask if you could send porn before you sent it?
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What's your friend's race? I ask because if he's brown I can 100 percent understand not getting involved. Shit can easily go sideways.
If this is her best friend I would assume she's like that too, just on her best behavior during your honeymoon phase.
Any reason is good to leave and this one makes sense. If they're a packaged deal I'd be looking for the nearest exit too.
Yes he is. When you write that you are not “allowed” that plus the difference in age = control. You are “allowed” to do whatever you want to do.
Not actually too young to settle down. I was married younger than that and we both travel the world whenever we can, have kids that shit coming with us because we are still fairly young and can look forward to many years after the kids leave for more travel. It may be too young for some, but it's definitely not too young full stop.
Question to the OP
your last sentence asks for advice
you are getting it in flying colours
Now what ?
we are interested in what you are doing ?
āYouāre both dead to meā block and move on.
But he intentionally withheld information and then made me feel like I was the crazy one. I think he ask said āIāve told you everythingā before actually telling me everything. I canāt be certain anymore cause I wasnāt wide awake.
In regards to fb, Iām not sure what he has done there.
Remember that getting drunk is never an excuse for cheating. Nor is it a mistake. She made a decision to get drunk and cheat. She also didn't come clean and tell you and that is telling. You're right this is not your fault and she must own it and be remoreseful. If you want to stay with her I would encourage couples and individual counseling. A therapist will have options on how to move forward.
Honestly it usually stinks to be in a room full of sweaty equipment and she told you about it so even if it makes you a little uncomfortable its not really a hill to die on.
. i assumed she was wrong because it was something that i had never heard of before and because it was something i thought i would've heard before if it were true.
You are just one person. You cannot know everything, no-one can, not even an expert. Knowledge is not fixed – it's a bucket we keep adding to.
Look at the legal system for an example – legislator, citizen, police, lawyer, jury, judge, appeals board. All are required because no single level has the knowledge capacity and reliability to design and execute mandates. It's a recognition of the existence of nuance and the variables that comes with being human in a world of equally variable humans.
Remember…
To assume “makes an ASS of U and ME.”
You donāt have to put up with it
Well, she's not getting younger.
She's not aware that she doesn't deserve marriage.
She's not aware that you've been stringing her along for a year and a half.
This is not love and this is definitely not respect.
Good job it's your opinion.
It's sexual assault. Don't undermine real rape victims.
I have been, but thank you for the recommendation and for your comment. Very underutilized and valuable resource
Alright so whatās with all the hate? Iām asking for advice not judgment. But clearly you read just as bad as you write. Because nowhere am I āblamingā anyone for feeling any kind of way.
Are you going to tell me you never did anything kinda out there sexually? Or at least even thought about it? Whatever. I acknowledge it was a mistake. But it was one made several years ago, before I ever even met my gf.
My brother and his wife were together for 8 years. Thatās a long time to be in someoneās life. She hears from the grapevine that Iām moving and being the person she is, she offers help even if not needed. I have zero romantic interest in her, and thatās mutual.
The problem is she may be unavoidable and I donāt know how to reassure my gf that I only have eyes for her. If all youāre going to do is be hurtful and shame me, I donāt need it.
It's not about what you want. It's about what you need.
You need to move on from Clark. Your feelings will never fade if he continues to be in your life. It may hurt but it's time to go cold turkey with them both
OP, leave this guy ASAP. You are young and don't even need to interact with someone who is willing to treat you so badly. Leave this asshole in the dust and absolutely do not answer when he comes crawling back because I can almost guarantee he will at some point.
Love yourself more and treat yourself better by exiting this relationship. All the people that have responded to you saying the same thing should tell you exactly how shitty of a guy your boyfriend is and how much you deserve better.
This relationship is not worth staying in.
He's now stalking you in an attempt to manipulate you back into a relationship. Do not feel for him, He's trying to control you. Contact law engineers to report his stalking, contact his family to come get him, contact your family to come protect you. Make as much noise as you can now, because letting this slide is how people wind up murdered.
I used to think the same, especially at elementary school. I know I looked normal, but no girl would ever show interest in me. Sometimes girls donāt necessarily value your looks first, but rather how you behave around others. This could be connected to masturbating. Because if you do masturbate daily or twice a day etc., you lose this spark when you are around women, you donāt tend to naturally say things that would attract them. So if thatās the case, I advise take a break for a week at least, you will feel the difference.
About the girl, no matter how much you like her, she is using you as alive teddybear. Only uses you when she needs you to keep her company. I do understand you like her, but you have to stop giving her attention. You wonāt lose her completely at first, but maybe eventually thatās what you need. More space, involve yourself with more guys, do things with them, donāt attach yourself to just one person. Other girls who might potentionaly be attracted to you see this and this automatically loses their interest because they see you with another girl. She litterally uses you for her own good, makes you lose this aura for other girls that says āhey Iām ready to bang!ā and makes you watch her being attracted to other males which gives you anxiety and god knows what.
My best advice: stop seeing her, donāt be rude to her just give her wayyy less attention and act like you got more interesting things to do. Talk to your male friends a lot more, do things with them and eventually you will find a way better girl that will even show interest in you, trust me!
She's been battling depression for a large portion of our relationship and this week happened to be a little bit of a rough one. She normally would be attending to her reptile hobby but she didn't really have the spirit for it tonight from what I gathered.
I mean, I totally disagree. Ypu don't have to do everything all the time with all your friends. Hell, not a lot of places can cater to 20+ people. You can avoid these women if ypu want to.
She?
No, Iād rather know now if Iām wasting my time. Like, if he literally only sees me as casual then Iām out.
And howās that?
No.
Sounds like you're bi and having a good time with a friend. Nothing wrong with that.
Ok… but why is your wife in lingerie in your bathroom taking photos you've never seen before? Sometimes people take photos of themselves to feel prettier, but in a relationship, they also send them to their husband/SO.
You need to go through your wife's phone, specifically her trash on her phone. The trash stays around for quite some time. And if you can, I would see if your wife's text records are on y'all's carrier.
Once youāre in your 30ās heās going to start cheating on you with a teenager/young 20ās. Heās a pedophile groomer misogynist. You canāt change him.
You deserve to on-line a life without that word. Your girlfriend will never understand the severity of what she is doing to you because she doesnāt have to worry about it.
I am a white woman and I wouldnāt subject any black (or POC) person to what you are going through. I want you to hear me. She needs to learn a hard lesson. But you donāt have to be the one to teach her.
You need to go and find someone who comforts and adores you for you and not just the color of your skin.
And I know itās easy for me to say this as a white woman.
Why is her not getting hurt worth more than you being happy?
Time doesn't really matter. No matter how much you wait she's likely to be hurt.
You aren't happy and she treats you bad.
I think you are being somewhat controlling. You meet people where they are at. He works in an industry that has people he works with periodically that he has had sex with. If he doesn't work with those people, he would be limiting who he can work with. Some people have a flirtatious way of speaking and while it would be nice if he toned it down, you can't tell someone how to behave.
It sounds like you both are incompatible, and that neither of you are bad people. You do seem insecure and he sounds like a flirt. You would probably do better with someone who has a more predictable job, and a more reserved personality.
It literally says ādemand to be respected as a professionalā in the context of the post it definitely implies that sex workers are not professionals.
Yo book all yo shit back! WTF?! Call some friends/fam for help. Get fly and enjoy your fucking birthday! We donāt even GAF what his problem is! That shit pissed me off. You do NOT deserve that! And for his 50th do a drive by throwing a lump of coal at his damn eye!
I know, it is ridiculous! As I said it is something very irrational that has a hold over me, and it is something that does definitely feel very immature and is not the type of way Iād want to think for sure
Gather information and resources for her because there are many out there that will help her but do not pressure her or take this in your own hands. It is up to the person who was assaulted to make that decision. Just be there for her, tell her that she can call you anytime and you will be there to pick her up. Basically just be there for her and make yourself available in case she needs your help and support. This is a tough cross to bear at 19 man I'm sorry both of you are in this position. I wish you two the best.
Your welcome lol.
That can be an unfortunate possibility and thatās how it makes me feel. I pay for everything while she saves all the money she works for. I would also be making the car note myself. She has 700+ credit and brags about it. She would still be able too according to the General manager I work for at my dealership
You probably just got tied to him too early.
Teenage romances are for practicing for settling down in adult relationships. They are for finding out what you want by trying lots of different people.
Youāve tied yourself to the (Iām assuming) first āseriousā relationship and now your brain wants to experiment.
As long as you donāt act on any of your crushes I guess you will grow out of your āgrass is greenerā phase.
This is way too much for you to be dealing with, especially at only 18. He claims he lost control and needed to pee, but he couldn't walk to the bathroom? I'm not buying it. He admitted he knew he had to pee and chose to pee on you and the bed instead.
Even if he lost control, that is very dangerous. Next time you could end up hurt. You do need to walk away. You're too young for this. He needs therapy not a relationship. By the way I noticed several men saying that it's pretty much impossible to pee while erect.
I don't have feelings for Jay currently but I'm sexually attracted to him…if that makes sense…but thanks for the advice
That was, however, until I sat and tidied his entire desk without any help from him just to be told he “didn't appreciate it yet” and would “probably appreciate it later”.
What the fuck. This is such a weird thing to say to someone.
Guess he'd just better not act shocked when you stop thanklessly cleaning up after him. If he doesn't appreciate not having to do it himself, then mazel tov. Enjoy the work, dude. All yours.
He supposedly 'felt bad' after the first non-consensual recording. But not bad enough to do a second non-consensual recording that he also 'felt bad' about. But not bad enough to stop him from doing it a third time. Which, spoiler alert, he 'felt bad' about.
If I didn't know better, I'd say he doesn't actually feel bad about non-consenually recording you, multiple times, after multiple conversations and multiple requests from you to stop doing it.
Let's recap: Dude has, on multiple occasions, obliterated your boundaries during sexual activity and done something you have repeatedly told him not to. Please tell me you can see where this is going?
Do you have free will? Can you think for yourself?
From the perspective of a CSA survivor, I would not be able to be around her if she spoke like that. A dedicated conversation where I can prepare and know how to be supportive, I think I could do. But casually dropped into a conversation? I'd probably have a panic attack. I would refuse to be around her at all if it happened more than once.
Somehow, she needs to be spoken to. I'm not 100% sure how you pull it off. Do you/your friends have a therapist of your own you could try to bounce ideas off of? She's likely using this as a coping mechanism for her trauma. But she could easily cause trauma by doing so.
He is slowly trapping you. Find a new job, put the money in an individual account and GTFO. This is not safe for you or the baby.
āLeaving him isnāt really an option and I donāt want to go through the rest of my life like this.ā
The problem is, not leaving him means this is exactly how the rest of your life will be. Literally THE DAY you got engaged, he āchangedā and thatās in quotations bc I believe he was always like this. The man you were with previously was the mask. The one used to lure you in, to agree to marry him and the second he got a ring on your finger, he believed (believes) he had you trapped. All of his actions since that moment only solidifies his mindset. Now that youāre pregnant, he really thinks youāre completely locked down.. and not in a good way. You are his property hence the āmy baby, my childā You are just his incubator. His house slave. His to command. FUCK THAT. He is cutting you off at every turn from any avenue that could take you away from him. He took your freedom of independence ie the ability to leave the house on your own. Then he took your job, your ability to interact with anyone else, along with your ability to financially support yourself. He stole all the money youāve earned, making you entirely dependent on him in every single way. He has made you his prisonerno doubt about it. He is emotionally and financially abusing you, likely also verbally and eventually, it will be physical if it hasnāt become already.
There is no changing someone like him. The rapidness in which he made these moves ā¦ it just does not bode well for you and the sooner you make plans to leave, the better. Your life and now the life of your child depends on it. You can choose to stay, but I promise you, things will not only stay the same, but get worse. You are a grown woman. You are not being treated like one. It was not his place to talk to your boss. He used the guise of concern to make you lose your job. It has nothing to do with concern but power. You donāt deserve this and neither does your child. The longer you stay, the harder it will be to break out of these walls he is building around you. Right now, you can still see that this is wrong, that you shouldnāt be expected to on-line like thisā¦ but you canāt see that you WILL be expected to live like this so long as you stay with him.
Getting out isnāt easy. Itās very hot to reconcile the man you have in front of you now vs the man you thought you have known and loved. The man you loved was the facade. If you have any family or friends, please, I implore you, reach out to them. Go over the the sub āabusive relationshipsā (idk how to link them sorry) They can share their stories with you and will have resources you can utilize for help. Just donāt let him know if you plan to leave bc that is the most dangerous time. When they realize they are losing their control over you. Wipe your phone or computer history. It wouldnāt be surprising if he starts to monitor your phone usage and who you communicate with.
Please know you deserve better. This is not what love looks like
I just wished he would have been honest with me. I know itās not something easy to admit. But why would he admit it to his friends and not me ? Even the girl I talked to, thought that i knew about it. That freaks me out a bit to be honest, even though he had been respectful and nice to me.
I was gonna ask that too, some people will commit for better or worse just without the legal papers. Self included
She has a kid. She can't move three hours for a boyfriend who won't even move in with her. She didn't throw the grenade – he did.
This is a unrealistic view to have.
I donāt think itās gaslighting, but it doesnāt matter.
Itās guilt tripping, itās manipulation, and itās choosing to put your literal physical safety at the bottom of the priority list. Your bf and his family insisting that you spend time with someone who may have come close to murdering you is not ok. I would run and not look back, and think hot about what kind of behavior youāll be willing to accept from potential partners in the future.
She's still in love with her ex and you are her backup plan.
Why did you ever move in with her if she's like this?
I'll never understand the shit people put up with when they don't have to.
Sounds like your trying to prove your worth to himā¦
Bitter, angry and jealous. And itās ok you donāt need to prove anything to me. Just go on-line your life ā¦ go spend time with your kids. Iād be embarrassed if my mom fought with ālittle girlsā on Reddit all day while ignoring me.
Dood….. he cheated and is gaslighting you. Let him fuckin leave. You can do better.
Heās going to cheat again. Run.
He has a girlfriend and is just using this as an excuse to shut you out.
This is a terrible idea. Why the fuck would you suggest that the OP damage his relationship with his daughter to make a point? What a petty BS piece of āadviceā.
I never think Iām going after somebody I just think on-line and let live and just move away from the person. In this case I would order I would order to anybody they were listening that is so despicable and it caused couldāve caused the loss of life that this person needs in someway to be held accountable.
Why wouldnāt she? This isnāt her bf or husband no matter how many poor analogies you guys make insinuating I would do that her bf/husband.
So you would not talk to your sister over a man you arenāt in a relationship with and havenāt had sex with? Says more about you than me
Idk about this sub but itās definitely a thing in todays society
Itās pretty fucking bad. He could have wrecked his career for the long haul
He has the right to believe what he wants, just as you do. Accept it or move on to a guy who adheres more strongly to your views.
Donāt get knocked up by someone who isnāt your husband, next.
I think block, but if you want to respond and acknowledge I think the way to go is a simple thumbs up. Then block him.
Maybe your mom is bisexual and asked your dad to find a threesome partner. Maybe they've already hooked up with all the women your dad is following.
Maybe it also isn't your business.
If she prefers being disrespectful to her boyfriend instead of rude to people making moves on her, it is her choice. Your choice is either staying with her or leaving. I would suggest the latter.
You are turning on you by not ending it
If he gives you the ick, break it off. You don't have to stay involved with him just because he's had dating troubles in the past.
I'm all for inclusiveness and gender fluidity, but not in my love interest please. I don't want my man to wear mascara – period.
It was three years ago, child was 3, unless I misunderstand?
Another poster says he was able to recently refinance his loans at 4%. Don't know if refinancing some or all of the loans is possible? That would make a huge difference in the amount of interest owed.
Also idk why youāre so hot on the feelings being involved being my own. Obviously I have vested interest but only person whoās feelings actually matter here are my partners. Iāve even shown them this post and conversed with them about some of the other comments. Itās wild to me that youāre directly assuming my partner has no personal feelings towards being misgendered or having to be around people who might have the capacity to act civil but still very well may still think down on them for simply existing. Thatās an uncomfortable situation for THEM. The issue Iām having is AGAIN let me repeat- my brother being dismissive of my trans partner. Does he have the capacity to learn and grow without changing his fundamental belief system? I think soā¦ but what do I know, I just personally know him.
honestly, from what I'm gathering it's leaning towards breaking up.
We have resolved conflict. It is just difficult because heās very poor at communicating. Last conflict we resolved was actually Reddit solved tbh. I posted on AITA and we took so many of the comments into consideration together. But this isnāt like a workload based thing. This is just me wanting to feel secure again. I want to feel wanted again and like Iām not just irritating him. I want him to be happy to see me again. I feel like weāve recently lost some of that
The thing that gets me in all of this is that you use the word “partner”, and then go on and tell us everything about your relationship that is the exact opposite of the word.
At no point during this post do I even come close to matching the word “partner” to your lives together. None what so ever.
To myself as a person new to the structure of your relationship, if I was to watch your dynamic as described by yourself, I honestly would not even have you two pegged as a couple. Room mates, competitors, casual acquaintances maybe, but actual partners together for a mutual benefit under an umbrella of love, understanding and mutual appreciation?
Not even close.
Update, Iāve left him and Iām starting over. I think I made the right decision. Iām too young to spend my time with someone whoās so much older and somehow more immature than I am.
2 things.
In my relationships, that would be cheating.
You said it yourself, youāre obsessive. Can you see a professional? Can you fill your time with other stuff to keep your mind busy? Itās not healthy to be digging around months later.
He let his brother rape youā¦ Iām not usually one to say divorce easily-but in this case-divorce is a very reasonable response- he doesnāt respect you, he was ok to let another man have sex without your consent
!remind me 20 years
Lol
I may sound like a bitch, but itās been a real turn off for me
nothing bitchy about it. He won't magically start doing it when he has a job, then he has more reasons to get out of the chores.
He doesnāt even feed our pets as he claims he forgets. The one thing he does is make dinner most nights. However he mainly makes food for himself and I end up making my own dinner.
What a prick.
First off, this ehy you don't get engaged this soon into relationship. Second read the shit she has told on you, this is what she thinks about you. Third, this cheating and breach of trust.
Do not marry her, break up with her instead. It will be cheaper than divorce.
While it might not be kind, it's often necessary for self preservation, not to take on problems that aren't yours, it will suck the life out of you if you don't set boundaries. Your being with him hasn't fixed him, so even if he argues that he needs you, it hasn't saved him. He also lived for a very long time before you ever met. Your walking away won't destroy him, he will either save or destroy himself.
As for how, I reccomend a letter, long email, social media message. That way, he can't stop you from saying anything, he can't interrupt you, or try and get you to change your mind. And I'd go no contact after.
You're not a monster. Nobody can save anyone but themselves and “you can't pour from an empty cup.”
Call a helpline/talk to a counselor, get some support. Dealing with someone and a relationship this complex is very draining and you're young. Chances are, it's one of the toughest things you've experienced. Asking for help and having some support is crucial.
And if, not likely, but if he hurts himself in any way, it was inevitable whether you stayed or not. He isn't getting better with you because it's his responsibility. If you stay, he'll only drag you with him. Us humans are born with the capacity to fully support one person, and help others. We can't carry them. We'll only break ourselves if we try. No matter what, you can only save yourself. Anyone who thinks you should, is too blind to get that.
Get support, take care of you, and get more opinions about how to handle this. I bet you'll be better for it. Take care ?
I ADHD ramble, especially late at night. Sorry for the excess, good luck!
Do you want to be her friend? Then be her friend. But if you're going to have a hot time getting over your crush, or would be trying to be friends in the hope of taking another shot at something more, then stay distanced.
I feel it would be valuable and comforting to have some input. Please let me hear your stories and thoughts
Thank you and many happy returns on the day to you.
If your SO said something like “You just have to be a b*tch”, would you consider that name-calling?
He says you are a b*tch. If that isn't name-calling, I don't know what is.
Secondary question… Does anyone else's SO call them a b*tch on a regular basis?
No, I've never called a SO b*tch and I've never been called one either by a SO.
Stand up to your family or you will lose more boyfriends
This isnt about trust, this is about control. And in any case relying on a single income is fucking stupid, because if that person loses their job then the entire family is royally fucked. Plus, why should you be the one to leave your job when you earn close to twice his salary?
I was in it for two decades too, I just waited and waited and she did too, I guess. It feels like that was my chance in life, my life, that was. I wanted to say that it's so nice reading about how you were lucky enough to get a second chance. Thanks, best of luck!
Youāre a side piece.
You 100% pressured and emotionally manipulated her. She should break up just for that.
But that's not sexual assault. Trauma is probably adding to the situation and making it worse.
So basically, you're a dick, but not a criminal.
I mean you kinda just told us what you should tell him. I think youāre looking a for a quick fix for a difficult thing, which is something we all do.
Sometimes in life you have to have a hot conversation, at least to be a decent person. Heās gonna get hurt. Thereās no way around that. But if you donāt want to be with him because itās not right for whatever reason, thatās the way it is sometimes.
Relationships are weird in that we enter this unspoken agreement and pretend itās all gonna work out until it doesnāt. Which isnāt always the case, but run the stats. Way more relationships donāt work than do. People break up every day.
The best thing you can do is explain why you need to move on and that it breaks your heart to break his but this is what needs to happen because you both deserve to be happy. He probably wonāt understand now but he will one day.
I hope it all works out and Iām sorry that yaāll have to go through this. Itās shitty but itās the price of happiness, and itāll all be okay one day. Good luck.
Christ, have a fucking spine. She lies to you and admits sheās doing what she did to get attention from other men. You want that from your long partner?
Oh and āI want to see everyone as their inner childā. Ya, sure, let her know that if she keeps doing this that strangers āinner childā will rape her behind a dumpster. Sheās either the most naive person in the world for thinking this or you are for believing her.
If this is the hill you want to die on, go for it. She's telling you it makes her uncomfortable, you're putting up a boundary and saying “I see it makes you uncomfortable and I don't care”.
ā
What's the point of keeping it if “most people won't see it”? Mountain out of a molehill.
Block her.
Then stop making friends with women you want to date. And stop trying to date women you're friends with. It makes a hash of everyone's expectations. Ask your three women friends to set you up with someone.
Hi Dad
You currently owe $XXXXX in overdue child support.
Upon receipt of a certified cheque, money order or bank draft in that amount, I will request a ticket in your name.
Until then, get stuffed.
The son you abandoned.
I get where u are coming from i have bipolar myself but i was very fucking toxic in my relationships before. I didn't want to hear shit about getting help from any partner or getting into therapy at all.
They suggested it i told them to fuck off. There was nothing wrong with me they cld leave if they wanted.
OP can suggest it but honestly if he doesn't want to get help HIMSELF and accept her suggestions IF he has a mental illness she isn't responsible for his mental health. She should focus on her own happiness and he should be single then.
I had to come to the same realization and get myself into therapy and on medication because i wanted to be better myself! And be happier and not a abusive asshole who took out my bad days on my partners.
Putting that kind of pressure on OP wouldn't be fair. And I'm not saying you are saying she should push to get him help. But she can have a conversation.. if he rebuffs her she should leave. No one person should shoulder the needs of another over their own well-being.
She's gonna feel hopeful and hold onto a diagnosis he isn't willing to get if he refuses her suggestion and use it as an excuse to stay with him and accept this kind of behavior as her daily bread because “he can't help it”
Reading OPs comments makes me realize he's basically the male version of the “cool girl”
He needs to grow a backbone and find someone who actually respects him.
No babe, you just gotta reevaluate your values around sex. guys who say they share your values are apparently judging the crap out of you. You can 100% find someone who CELEBRATES who for who you are. It's gonna be sad and hot but you have to let this guy go first to open urself to that.
Not great advice but very true.
Even people who aren't in a fundie cult recognize the long denim skirt as being a fundie cult sign, even as kids.
Probably because they never look good or fit well. Hopefully you got out.
I have looked into work from home jobs, however everything seems to be things I am not qualified for or uninterested in. Every single job around here is either fast food/restaurant jobs, or things that require college degrees/experience that I donāt have.
My aunt has talked to me about her job dog sitting, which is something I am very much interested in but too afraid of people to go through with it; another thing that I need to solve.
Another issue is transportation: I currently rely on my boyfriend to take me anywhere as I donāt know how to drive/donāt have a car. One of the other agreements is that I will learn to drive so therefore I can take myself places. That is another issue, however; I have severe anxiety around driving/donāt even think Iāll be able to do it.
EX-GF. FTFY.
So, your talking with other guys – to the point where someone proposed marriage to you! – and you don't know why he's upset? On top of everything else seedy that you've confessed to or lied about?
He's not just letting the “mistakes” go because he's tired of it, and he's had enough of the BS. Even if someone loves you, they can reach a point where they are just done with you.
If he has blocked you, and isn't communicating with you, your answer is, you take “no” for an answer and move on. You leave him alone. Maybe you look into therapy so you can change this kind of behavior, and be a better partner for the next guy.
Thank you!
If you know that, you know that it can be taken advantage of. Don't allow her to. You've had more than enough reason even before you found out she lied about the details the first time.