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CUM IN GOAL [2222 tokens remaining]
Date: October 5, 2022
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Assuming OP is from the states, no we did not have proper sex ed classes. It was basically schools telling us not to have sex.
He’s being hypocritical, he’s sited issues with your communication yet hasn’t communicated a major issue that he sees as significant enough to put things on hold for two years. The only thing you’ve said that I disagree with is that he’s waiting for the perfect girlfriend, expecting communication from your partner isn’t wanting perfection, it’s a necessity that both of you are lacking in and if you regard yourself a unit, you need to work on that together. I notice a lot of people assume their partner wants perfection merely because they’ve been asked to do something they either can’t, don’t want to or cba to try harder at
YES.
Unless this person was a coach, coworker, or mentor with whom you now share a transparent and platonic rapport with as an adult, absolutely not.
I am 34 and I can tell you RN that I have absolutely nothing in common with a teenager that would be reason enough to begin a long-standing friendship. I like chatting with them, I think their opinions offer some neat perspectives on how we all exist in the world, but I have no desire or inclination to be up at 2am texting or making plans around their school activities because those opinions are SO INTERESTING!
To be totally clear: I have two good friends that I met at work when I was in my early 20’s (23-25) and they were 15. We also all identify as women primarily. They are both now in their mid twenties and our friendships are still vibrant and very important to me. I trained them both at that job, and as my business was just beginning to get traction, I photographed them as well. I shot both of their HS graduations, one of their sibling’s grads, and this year I also was present as a guest AND photographer for one of their college graduations.
I have faced scrutiny for our friendship (what do you guys even have to talk about?!) but what it comes down to is intent: I just felt good vibes with both of them! I wanted absolutely nothing but platonic friendship, and I never even once asked them to hide our relationships from their families or other friends. Everything was out in the open because there was absolutely nothing to hide.
Now we get drunk in our pajamas and play board games on the floor at adult sleepovers. If this isn’t the vibe with your friend, then it’s not kosher.
Because this is a relationship where people are supposed to love and support each other.
Not use each other for money or unpaid labor.
I am going to stop engaging for my own brain. I’ve gotten the message loud and clear, thank you for the support.
You didn’t do the wrong thing your ex gf sucked and she was showing it.
This part! Aftercare, communication, negotiation, and above all consent are the foundations of BDSM. Rough play without them is just abusive
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Men contract at a lower rate than women. A shockingly lower rate.
If you can ask the doctor for his blood test results or set up an appointment and go with him. I would also show up at his work and bring him lunch. It all sounds stress related and he has something on his mind that is eating him up. I am NOT insinuating that he cheated, I am saying that stress will tear a person up. Maybe family problems that you don't know about or money issues or his job. It sounds like it is a personal issue rather than medical. Find out any way you can. If my husband was being this way I would be taking him myself to the doctor and I would be looking in his phone to see if it is related to family. I would also make him have an MRI for the headaches especially if he has them every day. Good luck
Does this sound like a healthy relationship?? Will anything productive come out of this relationship. Personally he sounds mentally unstable. The longer you “hang out/friends” with him just prolongs the abuse and discredits you.
In my opinion, children come first. This has become a daughter vs wife situation, and your WIFE is making that way. Divorce your wife and shower your daughter in love.
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She's not taking anything out on him.
Mom can create any healthy Boundary she wants.
OP literally said that the affair partner is a 'better' match for Dad. Do you not even realize that this piece of informatiom is irrelevant? There was no reason to mention this except to make it sound like the Dad being a complete cheating fuckwad wasn't so bad because… it turned out well for Dad!!
Like holy-fuck what an awful thing to add to this story.
'My Mom is being difficult because Dad fucked her over. He's happy now and I like his affair partner. So can't we all play nice?”
Mom: 1. Waits a year or two to let kid process and make a mature decision. 2. Kiddo keeps lovong dad and seeing no problem with it. Likely even bringing up old Daddy in conversations. Commenting on things that go on with affair-partner. 'Isn't she nice?' 3. “Yeah, okay, I'm done waiting for you to grow the fuck up. Pick ONE of us because I never need to hear one more story about this cheating Ex-husband again and how happy they are and how much you enjoy doing stuff with Them”.
Mom isn't deserting or abandoning a child. OP is an Adult. (If OP didn't talk about Dad and his new life the Mom wouldn't care.)
Mom thinks she needs to have the Ex completely out of her life to move on in a healthy way.
Frankly, most adults wouldn't be saying such nice things about their adulterous father. That alone is telling.
I don’t care how well you think you cleaned it. Anal toys should not be used in the vagina.
Wow that’s a long time I can see why you miss her. Have you asked her if she will change her mind? Realistically how long are you prepared to put your life on hold for?
If he's trying that hard to catch you in what he thinks is cheating, then there's a good chance he's the one cheating.
Red flags are just that flags which mean watch it. No one can tell you what to do but it's cliche for a reason all you can do is use your judgment. But generally being younger means there is less experience which is what most older guys are counting on because it means your less able to identify the reasons why they can't or won't date someone their own damn age.
She was 17, he was 21. That reads like abuse. The sort where the abused has been gaslighted to believe “she wanted it.” She needs to see a therapist. You and her need to see another therapist together and it sounds like you also need your own therapist.
I mean did he do anything that would be green flags in terms of him seeing you as a long term relationship?
He introduces you to others friends family or work parties?
He shares his successes And his failures with you?
He talks about his future plans anything at all.
For that relationship nothing can be done. You messed up.
You can only think about how you want to move forward. Do you want to change your addiction, or go to therapy.
Yeah I'm virtually certain it is
Okay so let me start off by saying there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. At all. If, like men, women had to cum in order to make a baby, Earth's population would be like 12 ? I'm sure you can Google it and get exact numbers and statistics on about how many women can orgasm through sex/oral sex/foreplay etc… but I know from personal experience and from what I have heard through friends, it's definitely not easy to orgasm with a partner. It's really easy for me to get in my head about it during sex too which just makes an orgasm absolutely impossible. I've found that bringing a little vibrator in the room can be helpful for moments like that. Even with a toy, it still doesn't always do it for me. It took a really long time/a lot of sex for me to finally finish with my partner. Once I really felt comfortable being totally hard around him it became a lot easier. I have some body image issues and I think that has been one of the factors of why it's been so naked for me in the past. I think you should consider therapy if it's available for you, maybe even with a sex therapist, to discuss the sexual abuse aspect of it. That could be the sole reason for why you can't finish with a partner. It makes sense actually. A professional could help you work through and overcome, so you can finally over-cum. (haha okay I'm sorry that was so dumb.) Sorry for the rant, I hope some of this helped. Just remember there is nothing wrong with you and you're not at all alone. Good luck! ❤️
Advice? let it go and get a grip. You can’t control what other people say to her, she told you about it which probably means it didn’t mean anything in her eyes. Also free gas! All you need to worry about is helping your gf heal after surgery.
I bet she’s already crying about her feet being swollen and claiming that she can already feel her baby kick.
OP, you are in the honeymoon stage of the relationship, and his mask is slipping. What do you mean by he can be very sensitive?
Damn you sounded like you kinda predicted the future with the first two though, holy shit!
Not if you were defending yourself and home with reasonable use of force…beating someone to the point of him scarpering is allowed.
So you were a hobosexual. Didn't work or pay rent, or buy groceries? That's probably part of the reason she dumped you. You're almost 30, dude. Get your shit together.
First find out whether there is something medical going on. This sounds like a personality change, so possibly hormonal? Depression? Alcoholism? Drugs?
In the meantime try ‘grey rock’. No response. Behave as if she said nothing at all. Walk away, and, most importantly, get your child away from her when she’s behaving like that.
i guess it's normal to put up with inhumane shit in your first relationship because you think you are inlove and you have this idea that if you try, it will work out and that this is how difficult relationships are, but it's not. my first real relationship was a bunch of horse shit that no person should ever experience and to some extent it fucked up my view of potential partners. bro, it's not supposed to be like what you are experiencing and staying there longer is only gonna dampen you more. your gf sounds like she literally just takes and takes and takes and I'm not just talking about food and stuff. and why you saying she has a fat fetish, what leads you to say that?
I would tell him to go fuck himself, and not communicate with him anymore. he sounds like a dick.
don’t start fights, just don’t talk to him
I’d date a promiscuous partner over someone who provokes bar fights any day, but that’s just me
It’s been 8 years and he never proposed. He clearly doesn’t want to marry her. I’m convinced you didn’t actually read the story.
Honesty and communication are essential to a good relationship. That being said, honesty without compassion is bullying. My guy and I have both gained weight over the years and I have stretch marks from pregnancy. It happens. What I find attractive are all the little things he does to make my life easier and make me feel seen. Like the coffee he brings me every morning of my life. Is she making you feel cherished in other ways, or is it all about living and performing up to her standards? If she does show love, then maybe it was an unfortunate choice of words. If not, then you’re in a shallow relationship.
If you aren’t communicating how you feel, he’s just thinking the current dynamic is fine
You've had no success with that so far. Nothing has changed. It's her life, her responsibility to live! it. Your feelings for her dilemma speak well for you, but are insufficient to justify any action on your part. Be happy.
You’re just realizing he doesn’t want to marry you now? I’m sad for you that you’ve wasted this much time with this guy when you don’t want the same things. Break up and find someone who does. I promise it isn’t too late.
You don’t keep attracting them.
You keep choosing them.
Why are you avoiding the signs and not seeing them. You act like instability is magically hidden.
How about you shut up?
Get over what? You broke up with her. Her friends don’t need to stay in your life, you shouldn’t care what’s she’s up to, let alone convincing yourself she’s desperate to win you back.
You should be moving on with your own life.
i meant really long post in the title sorry
Thank you for your comment. I do agree that it's ok to have different beliefs and still be friends. But the issue is not that we enjoy or are interested in different things. I find it troubling that my friend often sees men as inherently better than women. And this subtle sexism is not really a matter that I can simply be more accepting of.
I suppose anger is an emotion that comes most easily to me, and I appreciate you pointing it out.
This happens all of the time. Let’s open our marriage and boom. Hopefully, this was not your idea. If it was his idea, then he was most likely cheating. Talk to your attorney. Be cognizant he may come running back to you. She will probably dump him down the line when she realizes how much he is going to have to pay you especially in CA. You should also google limerence and affair fog. Good luck.
Wait did you punch her in the head afterwards? I just saw a story like this yesterday from the woman's side. Why did she spit on you?
Wasn't fair to be doing this to each other??? What about your goddamn partners???
Break up with your partners and just be together at this rate. Jfc.
Ditch the immature loser. You acted like a rational adult by removing yourself from a bad situation. My partner has IBS, and I can’t imagine ever putting him through something like that. And I would l fully expect him to leave me if I did
If you rephrase your title to say I’m breaking up with my alcoholic cheating girlfriend it’s more accurate.
Ditch her. If she thinks morality is better than earning a comfortable salary then maybe she can go and use that morality to pay her own bills.
Yeah, let's just pretend that Debora Green and Andrea Yates never existed.
Okay, apparently I have to be crude to get the point across… Do you get horny for older men the way he gets horny for younger women?
Well. Read your answer again, there you have it.
I mean, if you're IN the wedding party, actively contributing to the wedding, one would assume that would warrant you getting a +1.
No one is talking about second cousin billy you haven't spoken to in 20 years that gets an invite and wants to bring the girl he met on tinder last month.
This is your MOH, and her long term bf, not sure where the concept of distant family came up for you.
If this is a must for you then you’re sexually incompatible you have to ask yourself if you’re willing to never have that again.
Dude don’t leave him over this smh??♀️
Leaving him is the safest choice.
You are less than year together, and you thought you knew him well enough to plan future together. You clearly suffer from inability to sensibly judge your situation.
Can this be fixed? Maybe, but unlikely. He needs to tell you the reason he was doing it. I mean reason, not throwaway excuse. If he isn't able to do so he needs therapy/counselling.
You need to have access to his accounts/messages. He needs to understand that from your POV if he hides this he can be hiding other things as well. He needs to put a lot of effort to make it up to yoy, and sliwly rebuild your trust.
Ok are you fine being alone on thanksgiving?
I don’t mind your insecurities, but your hypocrisy is a bit much.
Yeah this isn’t normal. Healthy coparenting includes communication with the new partner(s) about boundaries. Hiding it isn’t ok.