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SeduceMe, y.o.
Location: Sextown
Room subject: wanna have a quick one
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms SeduceMe
Date: October 30, 2022
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You’re right, I just wish I didn’t know about this? Or should I be grateful he’s honest? I assume this is very common with young men, and he seems to want to be accountable.
Ofc, read about daycare and got confused. We don’t start school until 7 in my country.
Rule of thumb 1 year = 1 month of healing. Don’t know how much emotional baggage your bringing along, if you’re also “happy” about the relationship being done then I guess now is alright.
Yes, you're being groomed
What happened to no sex before marriage religious though? What about having a child out of wedlock?? Funny how you forgot about those, how very religious of you…
The correct time is one week ago.
Don't feel silly! He's pushed so nude I'm not surprised it's started to sound like you're the one being unreasonable.
You really, really aren't, though. He's being absurdly unreasonable.
No, I disagree. If what you say is true, then all medical statistics are of no value. Don't know why you want to argue this. Statistics are facts. You feel they should not be used. When your oncologist tells you you have a 50% chance of survival, its because that's the average survival rate for those (all) with that person's condition at that persons stage. According to you, an oncologist should not give the survival chances to the patient because all patients are different. So just stop. I fully get that each individual is different.
Also, only as*oles start nitpicking grammar on sites like this where people are generally using a phone to type out comments. I think you fit the bill.
Trust is everything in a relationship..do you want to give him a second chance? Only real ? will decide
I am saying this as a massive introvert who gets so damn happy the occasional (like once a month or so) times my husband takes our kid out and I'm totally alone in the house – his demands are wildly unreasonable. Do you guys even actually spend time like, together? At all?
Leave that girl immediately she’s obsessive and situations like this will only continue to arise. There’s no reason your significant other should be running an investigation like that.
Or you own up and move on
Crazy doesn’t go away when you feed it. It gets stronger.
so what are you so confused about? Do i really have to spell it out for you? “pretend she's a dude” because for some reason her being a girl has got you completely stupified.
If she needs to make sure she’s clean then get a bidet or use butt safe wet wipes and have her throw them in a covered trash can.. otherwise, I personally wouldn’t be dealing with this shit, either. Pun intended.
The fact is that sometimes things just end for no obvious reason and you don’t get a chance to go back and clear it up. Sometimes friends grow apart. Sometimes your company just lays you off. Sometimes people just die.
True. I wish my friendship with her would have ended at least in good terms, but ended very badly :(. At least, it is the reflection of my state that might help in identifying and fixing before getting into other relationships. Thanks, your points are on spot.
No – it truly is complicated.
Don’t push the issue. Give it time.
She’ll either get over it and act normal as long as you keep acting normal or she won’t.
But I thought you were a woman who missed her sisters wedding because your husband has a peeing kink. Liar.
Yeah that’s a tough situation. I’d suggest trying your best to build a bridge and get the fuck over it. If you like her and you have chemistry and can see a future with her to try and make it work. Life is nude finding a good quality partner is harder, and it only gets worse as you get older.
In general men prefer women who are more selective and discerning when it comes sleeping with someone. We like to feel that we are special in some way and that being allowed access to a woman’s sexuality is a lot like being allowed to join a special and exclusive club or something. The more people who are allowed to join the less special it is. And at a base level women seem to know this too.
The problem is there’s mixed messages growing up especially in our culture. Women are told not to be promiscuous and to have self control, make good choices and all that by one side but they are told they can have everything they want by the other. Human nature being what it is, if you are convicted that you can have everything you want and that anyone who tells you differently is bad/flawed/evil/insecure/trying to control you, wouldn’t you try to have everything too? I would, and I think most would too, especially when young and idealistic.
Try your best not to let the lies of the world that she believes(ed) poison a good thing. You’ve made bad choices, she has and will too. Talk with her help her grow, allow her to help you grow. Only if she refuses to accept reality do you let it/her go. She doesn’t have to apologize about it, it’s r be sorry about it, she wasn’t acting maliciously, she didn’t try to hurt anyone, she likely didn’t think this consequence was real. As long as you can get her to understand your feelings about it, you’re good to go. But if she refuses to accept this is generally how a lot of men feel, or if she vilifies you or men in general as insecure or whatever nonsense, then your values simply don’t match and it’s not going to work.
Your girlfriend needs to mind her business
Super creepy vibes. And super clearly did not read the original post or continues to not understand it. Or doesn’t want to lol People who “don’t care to” understand consent freak me the FUCK out. Get the hell outta here with that shit lol
Girl. Divorce. This man is playing head games and there is not time for that. This is what your child is learning from by example.
I have PTSD from sexual assault. In therapy I met multiple other sexual abuse survivors. I don’t like seeing “Well could have she been sexually assaulted?” thrown out like that in situations that really don’t seem to call for it. And as for the the book has been my saving grace, it’s quite special to me, because it focuses on the way the body starts to malfunction when the brain is sick from trauma, things like chronic illnesses and conditions that come about when the brain is stressed from trauma it can’t properly process, because the part of the brain that needs to be on to recover is often off in those with ptsd.
So.. you husband is literally abusive to you because you want a relationship with your dad? I know what you have to do, to be honest. Turn that husband into an ex. He sounds like a controlling asshole.
As long as he didn't groom her or anything when she was seventeen it's probably fine now.
Yes. Even if she wants to keep that baby and is pro life she has to understand the father of the baby will always be somehow present in her life. He's manipulative now, he'll continue to be like this in the future and will use the baby against her. There's so many stories about women having kids with abusive men and then these men continue to torment them even 10 years after splitting up…
Just because you want to make up a narrative and run away with it does not mean everyone here lacks empathy for not coddling the woman who watches and accesses diaper fetish videos, and demands that her boyfriend makes his disabled helpless sister suffer in a pile of shit or she’s through with him. We care about that helpless human being that can not fend for herself or take care of herself, not the able bodied ableist you are enamored of.
Oof, this is a tough one for both of you for sure.
Ideally, she would have had a conversation with you beforehand knowing that this is something that does affect both of you, even if it's for a good reason, but seemingly unavoidable interruptions where you sleep every night is significant. But when approaching the conversation, don't focus on that, maybe just ask that in the future big things like this that actively affects your life, she talk to you and ask first.
As for the rest of the conversation, tell her it's great she wants to be helpful to her friend, but ask what the plan is long term for this. You both cannot be responsible for her health, and this level of care for her is coming at the cost of both you and your gfs health.
Emphasize that you want to be supportive and help but it can't come at the cost of literally never getting a full night sleep. If she responds well what if something happens, perhaps she needs more clarity from her friends' doctor about what exactly the risks are and how necessary constant hourly notifications in blood sugar fluctuations are.
I'm no doctor, but having several people in my family with type 1 and type 2 without constant monitors, if nightly blood sugar fluctuations were that dangerous that it needs hourly micromanaging while someone is asleep, their doctor would be recommending hospitalization, not phone notifications.
I would not tell him that you are leaving. It is him, his brother AND his mother between you and freedom. They will put obstacles in your way or just forbid it.
Just quietly make a plan and just one day go to work and not come home. You can leave him a note or not, depending on how you feel about it.
What he is doing is very controlling and trying to bend you to his will. Him saying 'we are not leaving until . . .' would have made me directly to the car or home and never let him go shopping with me again – EVER. He lost that right by his demanding his wants over mine.
Sure, there are good things in all relationships, but the bad ALWAYS out weighs the bad.
You guys are already not speaking to each other about relevant things in a relationship. You don't say anything because you are always wrong according to him and have to listen to him micro-manage him. Then you add in him moving his family into your home with out even a conversation with you???? That alone is a marriage breaker. He is controlling you and you need to leave, but do so carefully.
Get help. That's what you need. Definitely, instead of being some insecure wannabe tough guy.
I think this relationship is going to fail in the long run. Do not let her dictate what you can and can’t do to your own body. If she had a problem with t than she wasn’t right for you to begin with
Omg leave this poor woman alone. You keep yo-yoing her because you have retroactive jealousy.
You seriously need help. I have no idea if she is a good match for you or not but you are a terrible match for her. Stop messing around with her.
no, if he was an ass or a bragger he'd be loved by many.
Do you think I should add him back on Social Media? I don’t want to see if he starts following girls or so…
husband
keeps calling me his girlfriend
That sounds at minimum kind'a messed up.
he told me it was just because he doesn't want everybody to ask him a bunch of questions. He wants his “private life” to stay private.
I get that, but … if he managed to say you're his girlfriend, he could'a upgrade to wife/spouse … or stared with “partner” and worked it up to “life partner”, but continuing to say “girlfriend” is rather belittling of the relationship, and also really at least bit of a lie. If he really didn't want to talk about it he could've started off earlier with “I generally don't discuss that personal stuff.” – heck, work environment about all he'd ever need tell for the most part would be HR once married (notably for legal and benefits reasons). Though if he wears a ring, or coworkers might occasionally overhear a call or see him wearing ring, or whatever … well, folks do tend to be curious busybodies … can't entirely stop that, but can slow 'em down a lot … heck, I can think of a former coworker and friend that I've known for … over a quarter century. I don't now their sexual orientation or relatoinship status still to this day – they never brought it up – I never asked – I figure it's none 'o my business – if they want to share, fine, if they don't, that's fine too.
But your boyfriend's behavior is more problematic and/or possibly even suspicious. If he really didn't want to reveal that he's got a girlfriend, he probably could've managed that (with some effort, etc.) – but to say/acknowledge that he's got a girlfriend … and not bother to update describing that as at least life partner … or if he doesn't want to even acknowledge that status change, he could say something like, “yes, I continue to be in a relationship”, and leave it at that, and not put a label/descriptor on it beyond that. But still calling the relationship “girlfriend” … really? That's highly odd … at best.
he's been extra private with me and somewhat secretive
I think I may be starting to smell a rat. I mean sure, keep it relatively quiet, on the down low, but … “secretive”. If he's outright hiding it or lying about it, likely something's very seriously wrong.
told me that he was estranged from his family and didn't have any contact with them but I came home early from work the other day and he was on the phone with his relative
Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
I didn't tell him what I heard about the rest because I still don't know how I feel about it and I'm still processing it and I don't want to start a fight.
Time to start those conversations – even if maybe it leads to a fight. Y'all need get it sorted, but something's definitely up.
not sure I'm ready for the truth
Truth will set you free!
don't know how to approach the conversation
Start it … figure out the approach later, if you need to. This sh*t's important, and y'all ought be able to well discuss it.
accused me of not trusting or believing him and that I was hurting his feeling
Well, that raises more red flags. You ought be able to ask, and he ought be able to well tell you what the hell's going on. Plain and simple. Not that horribly complex. Sure, trust … but if he's gonna behave like a secretive deceptive person, that's gonna make him – or anyone – a helluva lot harder to trust … so he's got some serious 'splainin' to do.
thought we had a good relationship
Well, if nothing else, the communication is seriously messed up – and that needs be straightened out – that's a huge part of any decent successful relationship.
I don't like it and feel very hurt
You need to tell him, and he's got some serious explaining to do. And bad that he's lying (e.g. to his coworkers), but if he's doing that sh*t to you too, sorry, but then it's a sh*t relationship … maybe fixable, maybe not.
worry I'm being used
Might very much be the case … or possibly not … but either way, time to get to the bottom of it, eh? So, start by having those conversations and asking him. Either he tells you the truth, and it all hangs together … or it'll all start unraveling … but at least you'll know or find out, rather than hanging out tortured indefinitely in limbo.
advice on how to approach him
Just flat out ask him. You're his wife for {God|other deity or non-god|fuck}'s sake.
I show total mistrust it could damage our relationship
Your relationship is already damaged. You want to have a fighting chance of fixing it, you need to ask those questions and have those conversations. Tell him how you feel, tell him how his behaviors are making you feel. Ask him to explain what's going on. Ask him to help you try and understand.
anything I can do to make that conversation easier or just less reactive I want to
No guarantees, you gotta plough forward. You don't have to be accusatory or anything like that, but explain and communicate how it makes you feel – unsure, scared, insecure, vulnerable, threatened, paranoid, … whatever, tell him.
say how I'm feeling
There 'ya go – you even said it yourself.
want to do his right.
Get started, doesn't have to be perfect – and getting moving on it is way better than sitting on it … so get a move on.
What’s the reason for you not wanting to move?
It’s up to you my friend, we can’t decide for you.
I didn't ask. I don't know if I want to know details
Proceed with caution, and treat this as a red flag. He wasn’t ready to talk about this, so he didn’t propose. Now this is all coming to a head and he is unable to communicate.
This brings back memories of several horror stories about men getting screwed over by paternity fraud, only to then get divorced and lose everything.
I just wanna assess if he approached me with this plan in mind to manipulate cause this is what it looks like
Don’t spend anymore time on this relationship. He wants to bang your sister essentially. You deserve someone that will love you and only you. Honestly, he may have confessed this to you to get you to leave him.
My partner and I sometimes drive each other nuts (especially since baby came and we’ve been just exhausted for a year and some) but the one thing we have is making each other laugh, even after 8 years together. We play video games, wrestle on the couch trying to tickle each other, dance in the living room and silly stuff like that. If you can’t enjoy time with your partner, what’s the point of having one?
Be brave or be miserable! aka leave before kids and marriage.
I hate to say it but you might be exactly right. I think there is an element of fear there, so I might be purposefully ignorant. You know, I actually did bring this up with my therapist a month ago but he kind of brushed it off! I may try again next session. Anyway, you’re also right that neither of us are communicating well. From reading the comments I’ve realized I’m doing a lot wrong myself in regards to communication errors. Everyone has been very helpful. Thank you!
How is this racist ?
Is your wife in therapy? You can't be her therapist. You two sound co-dependent. Who cares about Luke or even Barb? Your wife needs to develop the life skills of boundaries, self-preservation, and good judgment without you having to tell her what to do and steer her. She should also look into getting a better job that would attract better co-workers.
I hope getting a second bf is supposed to mean breaking it off then going to find someone new instead of what it sounds like as having two bfs.
There's a good chance that's she's exploring her options??…may be she's going on a few other dates as well, but don't want to completely drop you and tether you along to see which one suits her requirements??
May be??
After this post and the interactions I’ve had, I feel that we are not ready for a civil partnership. If it means that we have to stay apart for longer, so be it. I just know that I want her to be fully comfortable with me before we enter any legal arrangements. I will not pressure her into anything. I don’t mind waiting for as long as I have to, before we go into a civil partnership.
“Never share our private matters with anyone”
Then OP shares it all on Reddit.