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Dance till everyone gets a boner! [130 tokens remaining]
Date: March 27, 2023
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Oof, there are multiple layers here, first and foremost your SIL is kinda wrong, you don't come out out of a sudden by getting your partner to your parents house, while you can say her parents overreacted, you could also say that 90% of that could be easily avoided, i also have a gay brother, but my parents stipulated very strict rules when it comes to their house before he brings a partner to the house and even so he didn't introduced him as a partner because I was still very young.
Second, your husband might have stayed passive throughout the whole thing for the wrong reasons, but it is the right choice as a brother to stay quiet in moments like that, he has no authority over his sister or over his parents, the only thing he did wrong was not take out the kids as soon as possible.
Third, understand that this is not a reason for divorce, it could have been a reason for not marrying him, but you are not dating him anymore, best option here is to not ask him if he would be ok if one of your children come out as gay, but ask him, how would he react if one of your children come out, if he doesn't have an answer then just make a plan together to get ready for that scenario, once the limitations and boundaries are set you find out that it isn't actually that bad, it is not about not loving your child, but it is about avoiding behaviours you don't approve to go inside your personal life, that is why it is different when it is family.
Sounds like MIL is trying to cause nonsense in the relationship and this is why talk between her and your girlfriend isn't deep and meaningful. I wouldn't speak to your girlfriend about it personally – she likely will be mortified her mom is putting her business out there. Your mom needs to tell MIL that she's not interested in hearing it.
He called her fat 4/5 years BEFORE they got married. You misinterpreted the post.
I get that she is devastated by the news… But this is the guy she married. This is the father of her four young children. The way she is making major decisions for him is extremely disrespectful. If she was a proper partner she would grieve this situation with him and work on a solution together, not leave him hanging and try to alienate him from his children. This feels like survival mode has kicked in for her, and if she was my friend I would be appalled by her behaviour.
The question is: what does is he lying about that you haven't found out yet?
He has an open relationship, but isn't following the time you've set. He not worth it, OP.
Lolz !!! Your BF did raise a point!
Definitely break up with him, because if you in future decide that you are something else (let's say Trans Man), he will give you a very hot time accepting it. ?
It happens, and I think this can be considered normal, it is only how you respond to it that makes a difference, I see where the guilt is coming from but it is baseless, you have not cheated, so take a deep breath and know it is only ur mind that is making u feel like u did something when u didn’t.
I do want to add that there will always be better people, better things than what we have. You may have a comfortable house that is right for you but I guarantee that there is another house that is even better for you, and you may think that you have the best wife or whatever but there is always something better (in this case Alice would be “better”) , but isn’t that life for you? The only difference here is you decided when u married ur wife that she is the best for you, even tho better people exist your wife is perfect FOR YOU. Get used to the idea that there will be better things and if we keep chasing “the better” than what is the point of having them? I don’t know why I went on a rant here but I hope you understand where I am coming from.
Also, talk to your wife about your problems that you may have, tell her how you feel about certain things, she seems like a nice person I know she will understand, there is a reason why you married her in the first place. One has to take care of what they have so it can last the end of time, so by communicating how you feel by trying to reignite something’s by appreciating what you have now is taking care of it and it will last. Good luck
Get out of there. ASAP. Before any further bodily harm is done.
No he understands how you feel , he just doesn't care how you feel
Caring about how you feel doesn't get him laid
Therapy and counseling doesn't get him laid
I would be seriously looking at all aspects of this relationship and make sure there are lots of good things going on because when it's comes to this your guy is just an ahole.
Then it's a shitty excuse. Even if he were doing his best to get it under control, it wouldn't excuse treating you like crap.
It would just mean there was a chance that he'd be able to hold down his end of a healthy relationship soon. So it could be worth being patient and forgiving.
When he's not even trying to get it under control?
Nah.
Yep….and if she didn't online with them they could still shun her or banish her from the family as if they were Amish…
If you don't want to on-line by your parents' rules….find 4 other people and rent an apartment. Bills/rent split great 5 ways. I know this works because that's what I did. She's 22 years old…either fly the nest, or on-line in a controlling household where your parents use financial manipulation/threats to control your behavior as an adult.
He says this right in front of your mom??? He’s testing the waters and throwing shit at the wall to see what will stick. He’s gross.
No don’t work on it.. she’s high matinence and she’s looking for somebody to keep up.. she wants a relationship and your not giving her what she wants. She’s right. You play the role of boyfriend without actually being boyfriend. Leave her alone to go find somebody who actually wants to be her boyfriend and isn’t just using her for sex.. in another comment somebody said you probably just like her sexually and wanna hold onto that and I think their right. Let her go.. for her sake
he's not a mind reader, so you will have to voice this to him that you need some more time in person and that its important to you for it to happen as you feel you dont see him enough. And his companionship would help ease into you settling a lot faster into this new setting as to you, it seems he's thriving just fine here.
communication communication communication
You dont come off needy as youre voicing what you want to him. If you continue to voice it, then you might come off needy etc but thats not the case here. Voice what you want/need from him, his reaction/actions afterwards will tell you