Well, damn. He lucked out then. However, you're both still idiots because regardless of whether he got charged or not, you both still broke the law. Yes, it's unfair that only you have to suffer the consequences, but that's the way the cookie crumbled. You both very easily could've called an uber and avoided all this. This is a giant mess, and I hope you've both learned your lessons.
Yeah…I can accept that there isn’t anything there. It’s fine. It’s just so confusing given her initial comment about falling for me. It seems things only went south when I pursued. It just feels like some weird game to me. But it is what it is I guess.
I need to grow up? You're telling my my mom emotionally dumping onto me is good? You don't think that's the slightest bit traumatic for me? I'm 20, not 29.
You bring up a good point. I have thought about the fact that I only know about all of this because of my own doing. Especially the fact that I only know that they reconnected and he unblocked her because she just so happened to call him when he was right next to me. I’m sure he never would have brought it up until I found out on my own somehow. Definitely sus… and I appreciate your input.
These kinds of firecracker romances usually end up badly.
You two barely know each other. The attraction is there, but there’s no groundwork for friendship, relationship, nothing long lasting. Meanwhile, she has a boyfriend who she has invested three years into. while that relationship might be on life-support, it has all the infrastructure to become something real. I think she is beginning to see that.
And then of course, she’s also cheating on him. I can’t imagine how guilty she feels about that. She probably genuinely cares about her current boyfriend despite their problems… They wouldn’t have been together for three years otherwise.
And then there’s you. Put bluntly, you are thinking with your dick. If you’re not careful, you’re going to end up with nothing and a toxic workplace to boot. Be careful.
And you have poor manners. What a rude thing to say to someone! This is not helpful, advice nor even constructive criticism. This is only rudeness for rudeness sake.
Your friend is upset because you bruised his ego by showing him up for being exactly who he is, someone who stands by and watches pregnant women get assaulted.
As others have said, trust your gut and step in if you feel it’s safe to do so.
He may be amazing, kind and caring but you do not love him. It is not your fault and you cannot force yourself to love anyone. You also seem to have core incompatibilities regarding wanting children.
You need to part your ways and each find a compatible partner. By prolonging this dead end relationship you only hurt him more each day you stay with him.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
Oh, agree with you completely. I was surprised to see everyone here saying she was assaulting OP but, in her own mind, she may have been defending herself. Regardless of whether it was attack or defense, I don't think there is a way to salvage this.
Just because they got toys doesn’t mean he got a strap on to wear himself to use on her. Toys could be a whole number of things. I think his penis needs to not be a part of their sex sessions. But he can get a strap on harness to wear with a dildo and still have sex that way.
You are not owed any answers. Frankly, with the way you're coming across in here, I don't blame her for blocking you. You are not entitled to anything from them.
You do t need couples counseling. You already did that. It’s not that nude to understand that you shouldn’t be a dick. He needs individual counseling but I don’t blame you if you don’t want to stick around anymore to wait until he figures it out. Enough is enough.
She has been so nice and good to me though aside from this problem. Ive never been treated so good in my life tbh and I dont want to lose that. She is my best friend
I would delete this comment before a mod notices it and gives you a ban as this is against the rules of this subreddit (and frankly making light of a really shitty situation).
You can't, for the most, control if you do or don't get hurt. There will always be risk involved in doing anything worthwhile and it's up to you to decide if the potential payoff may be worth it.
When it comes to loving other people, I find that answer to be yes.
Oh yeah, I can see what a great catch he is! Guess you’re stuck since he’s not changing. Give it a few more years and all that “love” will be gone, gone, gone. Because you don’t love him, you love the man you thought he was in the beginning, but that man was a fake. He is who he is now. But I do wish you well, I’m sorry he’s turned out to be so awful.
He should stop death gripping and deal with his porn usage. If that’s not the problem, he needs to go see some doctors and figure his shit out.
But all this is a fucking personal problem because you need to leave the whole man. This is awful, this is assault and he’s trying to blame you and make you insecure because he has a problem.
Definitely go to your graduation. The memory of that day will last a lifetime and will be a joyous day celebrating your achievement with your classmates.
The fact that your family don’t care about your achievement should be enough for you to understand they won’t care if you are at the wedding or not. It’s about control.
You’ve chosen a profession that will make you financially independent. I’d take that and move on from your toxic family and build your future with those people who care about you.
Any woman who agrees to be a SAHM is taking a huge risk. You might love her and be forever now, but when you leave her earning potential is shot, if you become abusive she will have a very nude time leaving.
If you like life as you have it, consider finding a way for you to be the SAHD… All the benefits of a SAHM, but you take the risk of financial dependence. If you're not willing to do the job then why should she?
Since this is now a repeated behavior of something you’ve discouraged and he’s been able to control himself previously, what’s changed that now he decides it’s okay to go against your wishes? Has this been an escalating issue, where he’s been dismissive in other areas of the relationship, or is this totally out of the blue?
Either he can’t control himself and needs to see a doctor or he can and chose not to and needs to see the door.
Does he have a porn addiction? Has he been checked for ED?
I remember a lecture sat in and the professor was talking about the rise in ED in younger and younger men being linked to the high amount of porn they were consuming. There’d been some success of them stopping porn for different intervals of times. I don’t remember the extract time frames but I think after about two weeks they had a fair amount of reports of success.
The only way to move forward is drastic change and therapy. And it has to be actions not words.
And honestly, do you even want to make it work? Realistically is he capable of making the changes you would need to feel happy to stay? Some people can only change by small fractions. Can you be happy with only those small changes?
If he comes to get his stuff have a police officer with you. It would be quite stupid honestly if you let him come alone after the death threats he has made
What do you think I should do?should I ignore it?
It's a bit of a red flag tbh. I'd be super wary
Well, damn. He lucked out then. However, you're both still idiots because regardless of whether he got charged or not, you both still broke the law. Yes, it's unfair that only you have to suffer the consequences, but that's the way the cookie crumbled. You both very easily could've called an uber and avoided all this. This is a giant mess, and I hope you've both learned your lessons.
Yeah…I can accept that there isn’t anything there. It’s fine. It’s just so confusing given her initial comment about falling for me. It seems things only went south when I pursued. It just feels like some weird game to me. But it is what it is I guess.
Some of these post are insane.. am I'm the only one questioning what is wrong with their poster, if they can't see the blatant issue themselfes.
I mean the world is not black and white – but many fo these arent in the greyzones, but in the deep pitch black underdark.
Yeah take relationship advice from ugly single redditors. Go find something else to do
If I tell you I don’t want to buy some glasses, I shouldn’t need to tell you twice.
If I tell you I don’t like people pulling my hair, I don’t need to tell you twice.
If I tell you I don’t like having sex whilst there are people downstairs, I don’t need to tell you twice
I need to grow up? You're telling my my mom emotionally dumping onto me is good? You don't think that's the slightest bit traumatic for me? I'm 20, not 29.
You bring up a good point. I have thought about the fact that I only know about all of this because of my own doing. Especially the fact that I only know that they reconnected and he unblocked her because she just so happened to call him when he was right next to me. I’m sure he never would have brought it up until I found out on my own somehow. Definitely sus… and I appreciate your input.
u/MooMooMills1, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
These kinds of firecracker romances usually end up badly.
You two barely know each other. The attraction is there, but there’s no groundwork for friendship, relationship, nothing long lasting. Meanwhile, she has a boyfriend who she has invested three years into. while that relationship might be on life-support, it has all the infrastructure to become something real. I think she is beginning to see that.
And then of course, she’s also cheating on him. I can’t imagine how guilty she feels about that. She probably genuinely cares about her current boyfriend despite their problems… They wouldn’t have been together for three years otherwise.
And then there’s you. Put bluntly, you are thinking with your dick. If you’re not careful, you’re going to end up with nothing and a toxic workplace to boot. Be careful.
And don’t help someone cheat, OK? Not classy.
And you have poor manners. What a rude thing to say to someone! This is not helpful, advice nor even constructive criticism. This is only rudeness for rudeness sake.
What do you reckon
I reckon that you've posted this before and didn't get an answer you like.
Your friend is upset because you bruised his ego by showing him up for being exactly who he is, someone who stands by and watches pregnant women get assaulted.
As others have said, trust your gut and step in if you feel it’s safe to do so.
He may be amazing, kind and caring but you do not love him. It is not your fault and you cannot force yourself to love anyone. You also seem to have core incompatibilities regarding wanting children.
You need to part your ways and each find a compatible partner. By prolonging this dead end relationship you only hurt him more each day you stay with him.
Hello /u/Remarkable-Beat4934,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
That he was drunk and just looking.
Oh, agree with you completely. I was surprised to see everyone here saying she was assaulting OP but, in her own mind, she may have been defending herself. Regardless of whether it was attack or defense, I don't think there is a way to salvage this.
Just because they got toys doesn’t mean he got a strap on to wear himself to use on her. Toys could be a whole number of things. I think his penis needs to not be a part of their sex sessions. But he can get a strap on harness to wear with a dildo and still have sex that way.
Nope
The friends are making up excuses, so OP gets back together, and they don't have to deal with her 24/7.
You are not owed any answers. Frankly, with the way you're coming across in here, I don't blame her for blocking you. You are not entitled to anything from them.
he obviously has a kid who wont talk to him, and grandkids. just my opinion
The only appropriate response is EX Bf…. anything else is putting yourself in danger…
You do t need couples counseling. You already did that. It’s not that nude to understand that you shouldn’t be a dick. He needs individual counseling but I don’t blame you if you don’t want to stick around anymore to wait until he figures it out. Enough is enough.
That's why i'm so happy i don't share friends with my girlfriend yikes
Break up with her. She is being immature and irrational.
She has been so nice and good to me though aside from this problem. Ive never been treated so good in my life tbh and I dont want to lose that. She is my best friend
Lmao true
I would delete this comment before a mod notices it and gives you a ban as this is against the rules of this subreddit (and frankly making light of a really shitty situation).
You can't, for the most, control if you do or don't get hurt. There will always be risk involved in doing anything worthwhile and it's up to you to decide if the potential payoff may be worth it.
When it comes to loving other people, I find that answer to be yes.
Lose his number. Move on with your life.
It's not.
I don't remember the teen standing up.
I don't remember him walking over.
No film there. I still see the kid lying on the ground.
Next immage is guy standing there, looking at me.
Just a blank void inbetween.
I would be totally unable either, to tell you what I did between screeching and the teen coming over. ?
It's not even gone. Brain refused to take pictures. It blanked out.
Oh yeah, I can see what a great catch he is! Guess you’re stuck since he’s not changing. Give it a few more years and all that “love” will be gone, gone, gone. Because you don’t love him, you love the man you thought he was in the beginning, but that man was a fake. He is who he is now. But I do wish you well, I’m sorry he’s turned out to be so awful.
He’s upset you’re aroused.
He should stop death gripping and deal with his porn usage. If that’s not the problem, he needs to go see some doctors and figure his shit out.
But all this is a fucking personal problem because you need to leave the whole man. This is awful, this is assault and he’s trying to blame you and make you insecure because he has a problem.
Definitely go to your graduation. The memory of that day will last a lifetime and will be a joyous day celebrating your achievement with your classmates.
The fact that your family don’t care about your achievement should be enough for you to understand they won’t care if you are at the wedding or not. It’s about control.
You’ve chosen a profession that will make you financially independent. I’d take that and move on from your toxic family and build your future with those people who care about you.
I’m excited for her, just dissatisfied with my own situation, and her lucky streak just seems to remind me of that
Don’t you mean he?
as I said in the post, it doesn't bother me at all.
Sweetie he’s gaslighting you.
Any woman who agrees to be a SAHM is taking a huge risk. You might love her and be forever now, but when you leave her earning potential is shot, if you become abusive she will have a very nude time leaving.
If you like life as you have it, consider finding a way for you to be the SAHD… All the benefits of a SAHM, but you take the risk of financial dependence. If you're not willing to do the job then why should she?
Cheers.
Since this is now a repeated behavior of something you’ve discouraged and he’s been able to control himself previously, what’s changed that now he decides it’s okay to go against your wishes? Has this been an escalating issue, where he’s been dismissive in other areas of the relationship, or is this totally out of the blue?
Either he can’t control himself and needs to see a doctor or he can and chose not to and needs to see the door.
Does he have a porn addiction? Has he been checked for ED?
I remember a lecture sat in and the professor was talking about the rise in ED in younger and younger men being linked to the high amount of porn they were consuming. There’d been some success of them stopping porn for different intervals of times. I don’t remember the extract time frames but I think after about two weeks they had a fair amount of reports of success.
The only way to move forward is drastic change and therapy. And it has to be actions not words.
And honestly, do you even want to make it work? Realistically is he capable of making the changes you would need to feel happy to stay? Some people can only change by small fractions. Can you be happy with only those small changes?
Not at all illogical
…. after finding out that best of hubses had plain lied by omission …
… about his friday lunch work meeting thingies.
By bumping into her wanting to pick hubs up … for lunch.
Surprise, surprise!
This is a very onesided thread always incriminating the wife as unreasonable jealous/ toxic/ insecure.
Where OP DID mess up in handling things.
Question is: IF he is talking of Marcievat home already….WHY didn't he mention that lunch thing?
Because likely she would have rightfully blown up on him.
So he knewvfully well that there IS something awkward. Or something that potentially could be felt as awkward!
WHO brought those lunch meetings up?
Was it him? Or her?
WHO pays for the food? Company? Him? Each their own?
WHAT was the idea behind that? Compensate for her good work? Get some less restrained contact?
(That's why business men take customers out for meals! Because it bonds. And allows for private talk and less formal access).
But it was a joke. Lol deflect much?
Break up and put yourself in therapy. Adult women don't consent to controlling relationships like this one.
If he comes to get his stuff have a police officer with you. It would be quite stupid honestly if you let him come alone after the death threats he has made