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Date: December 8, 2022
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I'm typically in the same stance as you but why would he just not take me up on the free hall pass? I've always thought it was weird for a man to want to be so monogamous. I guess all men really are cheating scum if that's what you're getting at? I have no problem with telling myself no man can ever be faithful.
got gutted around your age by the 2nd love of my life. Was in this same type of funk for a month or two, and then I got out of bed one day and decided to work on myself. Got in great shape, got serious about my studies, and i got my confidence/swagger back. I remember coming back from a run one day and a roommate's friend said “You're looking really good lately.” That unsolicited affirmation was a huuuuuuuuge boost. (Sex later that night with her was great too haha)
I lived my best life. The girl that crushed me saw the changes and tripped me up for a month by trying to get me back, but I realized I wasn't into her anymore, the idea of her and my idolization of who she was had worn off. Our lives were too different.
I ended up finding who I was, and then I was able to search for somebody that fit with me, rather than trying to change myself to fit with someone else. Bottom line my man, find yourself and work on yourself. You'll find somebody that's actually right for you.