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Date: October 26, 2022
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You sound a little naive with this being your first time thinking he's the one, and your looking at the relationship with rose tinted glasses. He's lied about small things before because it's easier for him, so he'll lie about big things too, like blocking her then unblocking her, not going the meet hims with her then going. And having you call him by old pet names and him doing the same maybe a way to disguise any sliip ups when talking to you, or when your sleeping together he might be thinking about her when he says “your” pet name in bed.
Make him your ex.
I would suggest therapy. If you are a giver, you will have to stop being so, so you are not used/taken advantage of. It's a struggle and it's okay, but don't dwell on the past and just look forward to the future. Partners/relationships aren't everything. Love yourself, take care of yourself FIRST. Part of that will be hanging on to your own assets/money/time/efforts until someone has shown they will also give 50%. Patience. There are many more takers in the world than givers.
The fact that your husband wants a boy is concerning for me. Because that's not necessarily going to happen. Y'all could have a girl instead. And if he wants only a boy then I'd recommend not getting pregnant again. I also recommend not getting pregnant anytime soon and instead start going to a couples therapist. He got mad enough to tell other people he doesn't trust you with your child and that he was going to try and take your child from you. That's a massive red flag. And then he didn't even address what he said about you that's another red flag.
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THIS!
My friend was dating a guy who had a “roommate” and who was displaying similar behaviour; it turned out she’s his pregnant fiancé!
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Um if you gf is a bit self-absorbed and the type who would gift you a calender with 12 months of her photos or by you stuff she likes, then yah, I can see her gifting you cufflinks with her initial bc she is self- absorbed. She may think it's cute bc she is marking her territory or so you'll think of her when you wear em.
Or it may be a re-gift.
Dude, either way, run.
is Lana going to tan darker than she already does for the cosplay? if not.. i don’t see why Kate didn’t have an issue before Lana wanted to be that character. if she is, in some Japanese subcultures where tanning is important to the look, the standard is to go no more than 3 shades darker than your natural color (so it doesn’t come off as blackface). so she could use that tip?
i can see both sides. getting the skin color right isn’t essential to the cosplay, but also your gf is just dressing up. it probably just feels a bit offensive if she’s a lot tanner than she usually is.
Kate is likely more butthurt than anything and just wanted y’all to understand where she was coming from. but if Lana is just choosing a character easier to play because she likes to tan… Kate can lighten up a bit.
I’m not sure how important it is to your bf to know if it’s your first or second marriage but I think you should tell him to avoid future problems
26 is a lot for display purposes. I would suggest that you both limit yourselves to ONE shelf each on a bookcase that can be used for your collections.
bullshit. A woman can't make a man go through body, hormone, phsyical changes etc and then they have to go through hours of labor that can literally physically wreck you or kill you and that's something you want women to be forced into cause a man got a little sad his spermies didn't keep the woman with him?
If its what she was owed why was it 500 one week 1000 the next and 2500 the next? If its what she was owed it would of been one lump sum ??♀️
Have you contacted the women??
I'd also speak to HR and confirm its true.
And his excuses for not telling you was he didn't think you would care, yeah because most people don't care when there husband is sending X amount of money to another women?
There a reason he hid it and I'm not buying his excuses.
You need to contact the women and HR and ask.
Say if this is true then HR will confirm it, go to his work.
Is there maybe a way to say this that is slightly more aware of the OPs obvious insecurities?
Tell your “so-called” counselor that you are going to record the session. Then when he asks why, tell them you are uncomfortable with the direction the counseling is going and would like to consult a neutral third party. See if the conversation changes.
I am curious which of you found the counselor. I highly suspect hubby did.
You can easily make yourself sick, if she is crying and starts coughing it can start your gag reflex and makes her sick, it sounds like she is doing it on purpose since it only happens when she doesn’t get her way and specifically in arguments with you. She knows you’ll stop to help her when she makes herself sick, it’s a manipulation technique and you are allowing it. Honestly your only option is to let her get sick do NOT help her when this happens and when she’s done resume the discussion. I had a friend that would become hysterical (basically throwing a temper tantrum) when we argued but I didn’t let her antics get to me I just waited until she calmed down but I refused to console her and when she was gone we finished the argument. If you let the argument be forgotten you are still giving her what she wants, these disagreements need to be resolved her getting sick in the middle can make small arguments into bigger issues down the road.
HAH! Did you think it would take hours? You betrayed her! With a mutual friend. She's a saint for staying with you
After he ejaculated into someone who was not using birth control his desire to not have a baby at that moment is irrelevant given that his actions are leading him down the exact opposite path. His desire AFTER the fact is even less relevant. It is neither childish nor disrespectful to turn to someone whose actions were half of the direct cause of an outcome and say “you need to be accountable for the consequences you helped to cause.” It IS childish to think “nahhh, now I don’t wanna” is a legitimate grounds to relieve yourself of all responsibility for your own actions.
Yes its a red flag.
If you let it go on you'll condition him to think taking out his frustration on you is okay.
Or he'll think you're a door mat and he'll just start beating you
Ooof man. Sorry, he doesn’t care about you enough to do this. That doesn’t mean that you are unworthy, or wrong for sticking by your agreed on boundaries. It just means that he’s more selfish than you both realized on this subject. Don’t stay with a liar, you’ll never have peace. Wishing you the best.
A yeast infection isn't sexually transmitted. It can be sexually transmitted in rare cases but usually isn't and people who have never had sex xan get one ..Tbey can be caused by antibiotic use, diabetes, taking hormones like birth control, erc.
Personally I’d avoid throwing breaking up out there unless she brings it up. At most I’d say that you don’t want to lose her and you realized what an absolute grade A fuck up that was. If she stays with you make sure to take her on a date somewhere awesome that you’d have never gone with your ex. Make sure she knows that you see this relationship as different and better!
Yeah. Gf isn't just crying because she's jealous of an ex or something.
Gf is scared that she's going to be passed around the same way.
She was scared you would find out and force her into a situation she wasn't yet prepared for, since right now she may not know if AP and OBS will attempt to reconcile and the affair will be shut down or if AP and OBS divorce so she can continue to see him.
Unless she leaves the job immediately, and goes totally NC with the AP, you should go ahead and file for divorce, and tell the kids.
I feel like a journal kept in an app that can't be used for communication should be off limits. You can't demand access to your partner's diary.
Lol
“He seems to be unable to understand why it is such a big deal to me for him to sleep with others”
He's heard of 'monogamy' and 'cheating' before though?