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Somegymbro, 99 y.o.
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Date: October 11, 2022
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Loving someone doesn’t = wanting a baby with them. I think this has a lot less to do with his feelings for the mother and a lot more to do with becoming a parent again.
Have you guys talked about starting a family together?
Very much this.
The stimulants may be triggering manic/ bipolar episodes.
OP: You need to get her to the hospital ASAP. This has a high potential to escalate if not treated soon.
So she's jealous of her own child? Time to reevaluate whether or not you want to be with someone so immature! Definitely do not have more kids with her!
Wow this makes so much more sense. This warrants a big conversation. Maybe say you want to keep the sexy stuff in the bedroom and in private for the safety and comfort of everyone in the house, and to be respectful of everybody’s past experiences and what could potentially be a triggering sight.
it was tough, we both cried. im not really sure why he did, but i apologized and made sure he knew i never held it against him for needing sex. but i do feel better and sure it will only get better from here
Well, it's not German. It's an American military slang.
If you do pursue it make sure you are ok with it not being a typical relationship for someone your age.
35 you are still planning for retirement and saving money away. Doing things like buying or maintaining your first home. Potentially having children or getting pets.
70 you are likely already retired or just a few years out from retirement. Most people at 70 are looking to downsize their home so it’s somewhere comfortable to grow old. 70 is a grandma age. The ability to do physical activities and travel starts decreasing as the body ages.
Are you ok with the whole picture? Or do you just see an older lady you find attractive? Are you ok giving up the possibility of having a family? I also think with the age gap it will be much harder to find couple friends
Me and my girlfriend both have made bad jokes and we’ve both asked each other to avoid them in the future. It just shows the kind of person if they aren’t willing to even talk to the person they’re literally dating lol. It’s not unreasonable to disdain certain jokes, but it’s unreasonable to just expect the other to know your limits without communicating.
No it's not a red flag, and definitely not cheating. It is definitely a sign of jealousy and insecurity on your part.
I was friends with my ex for the first 2 years I dated my wife. She didn't have a problem with it and neither did I. I helped her navigate leading her hometown, finding new friends without getting like she was completely alone, helped her through several relationships, and helped convinced to start dating (her now) husband. He told her she can't be friends with me because I was an ex. She explained everything I helped her with, but nonetheless I got the boot. She messaged me 2 years after that saying she had a long conversation about me with him, and how she has always felt very bad about how she ended our friendship and wanted to reconnect.
So could force her to not be friends with people, but that isn't going to do you any favors with her.
You say he didnt cheat and she was in her third trimester when you started dating but if the baby didnt turn 1 until october.. the math aint adding up i fear
Exactly what I've been trying to tell him. I don't know how he doesn't understand that.. how he could be okay with it for over 3 months and then suddenly decide he's not. That's something I cannot comprehend.
Guaranteed you are just seeing the tip of the iceberg with those views. I'm sure there will be more nude takes to come on a whole variety of issues.
“Your friend was hitting on me every time you left. He was telling me I looked cute in a photo, he offered me his jacked when I was cold, and he touched my lower back when talking to me. I don’t want to spend any more time around him.”
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She didn't necessarily do anything wrong, but there is also nothing wrong with sharing your feelings on the matter given your anxiety and attachment issues. You're right that you can't expect her to read your mind – communicate it and hopefully she is receptive.
That said, you do need to work on those issues. Are you able to access therapy? Anxiety and attachment issues don't just go away.
Okay? I wasn’t talking about OP’s gf. I was replying to the people who acted like it’s absolutely freakish not to shower daily.
Every relationship needs boundaries. If it makes you uncomfortable you need to communicate it and she needs to respect it. You will see how she reacts…..
You should just plan for the answer to be no or a non answer. Also, the things you’re changing need to be organic and can’t be done just to win her over. True change has to be earnest and it takes time to work on things, most likely if it’s problematic behavior you should seek individual therapy and just focus on bettering yourself for yourself and whoever your future partner will be better for it too
Firstly I am sorry. I cannot imagine the feelings you are having and I strongly recommend you talk with a professional as soon as you can. It will help tremendously on your journey.
It gets tricky. It does not say you shouldn't feel how you are feeling but I don't think this is rape. He had consent to wake you up with sex. You have had conversations about being on the medication but no where do you say you took back consent.
If you did, it is of course rape.
If you didn't, it is at worse miscommunication. You can still and should seek out help. But I would speak with him and say that you have changed your mind about being woke with sex now that you are on the meds. I would definitely not accuse him of anything. Unless you took back consent, he did nothing wrong.
Wishing you healing and peace.
Yeah, I got domestic violence vibes from this post
Please don't go to couples therapy with him. There's a lot of consistent advice out there about the fact that a manipulative partner can use couples therapy against you. Keep going with individual therapy and make a plan to get away from this guy. He clearly isn't treating you with love and respect, and you deserve both of those things.
What would you tell your brother/sister/friend, if they gave you all this information about their partner?
I've also tried having conversations about what we want to do about the situation and asked him his needs. That we should talk about goals and other things.. He tends to blow me off a lot about any topics that are 'serious' or make him uncomfortable.. I'm trying to leave but I have dug such a hole.. I'm not really sure why I made this post. A cry for help and a nice person to talk to me to tell me to keep going bc idk anymore bro
What did you say that may have hurt his feelings?
She says its my fault she cant go because of all the anxiety i caused hed last year
Well this is a manipulative alarm bell.
Either she's got severe mental health issues and she's using you as an outlet, or she's manipulating you because you give her anything she wants when she brings it up.
Tell him he's being an asshole and to stop commenting on your food portions.
I (25f) and my boyfriend (24m) have been together only a couple of months
After reading what you wrote, it is a clear case of him love bombing you.
First couple of months = honeymoon phase. He's spending $$$ on you and you're blinded by the $$$. You think that he's going to make a good partner because of the love bombing.
The true him was the he who was controlling, verbally and physically abusive. Take it as it is.
I hope you keep yourself safe though.
Let me rephrase the question. Should I lie to my husband?
It’s literally an algorithm. It only shows stuff you watch, click on, follow.
It sounds like in this specific case, OP’s partner was doing thinks like commenting on posts that led to his discovery page being full of sexualized young women, but this statement of yours isn’t true.
Instagram’s algorithm will fill your discovery page with content it thinks you’ll like based on what other people in your demographic engage with. That means pretty much all men start with a discovery page full of half-naked models, usually with some male fitness accounts and some sports car accounts thrown in as well.
If she doesn’t love you for who you already are, it’s over. You can’t change who you are, and dating her on dates, going to the gym, and dieting isn’t the key to making her fall in love with you.
Yikes if that’s the response you got from saying I want to dress BETTER…….girlllll run for the hills. DUDE’S ACTING LIKE YOU SAID I WANT TO GO NAkEY NAKEY from now on.
But on a serious note put on a rocking outfit break up with him because YOU DESERVE BETTER. Like a boss.
Honestly, he didn’t do it because the thought he had another offer. These events aren’t related; he did it because he is immature and not very experienced (I am being gentle here).
Even if you do have a better job offer in fact, you quit with best possible terms you can manage to happen. You never know the future; especially if you are staying in the same industry and city too.
It could be that she's with someone now. It could he that she didn't like seeing your name or thinking about you on her bday. I mean whatever it is, she wants to cut ties. So just understand that and learn whatever you can from what happened
I am so out of touch.
Bestie your boyfriend is pretending to date your sister because boobs???? You look and sound like a smart and sophisticated lady, why are you dating losers queen????
she was aware the guy was trying to involve her in a three some.
trying?
Blocked him after he said they weren’t his. After he told her to go tell her other “boyfriends” they’re theirs. After he said she would just get an abortion anyways. He didn’t want the kids. He didn’t care she was pregnant. He knew she was when she told him. Replying with ANGER about a pregnancy is never okay
Are you a doctor? Because you’re making an awful lot of really outrageous declarations here.
Why did you respond then lmao. If you truly didn't care, you wouldn't waste effort responding
Love the downvotes. Thanks for making my point.
So he knew it was so wrong that he believed you would break up with him if you ever knew, and yet he did it anyway and kept doing it. Doesn't sound like he value the relationship much or respects you as a person really.
Easy. Stop bragging to your boyfriend every time some hits on you. Problem solved.
If you stay, the cycle is just going to continue. You both are going to continue hurting each other and your self respect is going to suffer more. You’re losing more of yourself every day. It’s not even that you guys are too young and immature. Both of y’all are 30 year old grown adults and still treat each other horribly after years of being together. You’re honestly wasting your time staying.
Habits and expectations are nude to break once they have been established. You quickly developed the 'habit' of encouraging and helping your boyfriend without ever mentioning anything that comes close to monetary reward. He has developed the 'expectation' that you will help out without any monetary reward. Now because your friends put the thought of financial reward in your head, you can't shake it. There is only one way to break this cycle, and that is to tell him you feel used by his assumption that your contributions are worthless. If he doesn't see how that could be, then you need to stop being available.
Yes, exactly. I should have said Christianity x 10.
How long should it take him to learn that his partner has needs after sex? A month? 6 months? 5 years?
She's your ex and if she pays rent she can bring whoever she wants whenever she wants. You can't control her so just stop. She cheated and that sucks and makes her a gross person but she can still do what she wants.
You're looking for immaturity in an immature man.
Either adjust your expectations or look for it in another person.
This is an example where age gaps don't work.