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Sophie, 22 y.o.
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Date: October 9, 2022
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Break up with her. You already did her a kindness letting the holidays pass before dropping her. Her fathers situation is incidental. Unfortunate but not your problem.
You can offer to do whatever makes things easier for her when it comes to her job and her father and you can tell her you'd like to be friends or help her even if the relationship is over.
She probably won't take your help or your friendship but offer them anyways.
Honestly now is probably a not so bad time. She's staying somewhere else and honestly her Dad's situation might be a good time to reorient for herself.
You can't keep extending this. If her Dad lives 6 months and you give her 6 months to grieve are you really going to play pretend boyfriend for a whole year?
Nah. It's shitty timing, but she also shouldn't have cheated.
Please please please see this as the giant red flag that it is. This is how abusers push and test boundaries. His utter disregard for your feelings is very concerning. Unfortunately you can't “make” him understand – it's not a difficult concept to grasp, it's that he is CHOOSING to keep doing something that hurts and bothers you. He understands perfectly well but doesn't care. That is how abusers think. They feel ENTITLED to treat you with disrespect whenever they want.
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Thanks a lot. I think I really needed that. I didn't know it was so common. It has just been killing me inside. It is very weird to be the one having to take the step and leave, and also feeling as if they're the one that has lost feelings.
And it is also pretty difficult, because of my lack of variety in relationships, I'm quick to assume that the honeymoon phase is just over now and that's all it is, and I'm just being naive and stupid, and I'm bound to regret leaving her forever.
It is really nude to see a future where I'll find anyone close to who she was. There's some anxiety connected to that too. I mean she's basically everything I'd ever wanted, the perfect girl to a T. I'm just not what she wants anymore, or at least, that's what it feels like. And that's an untenable situation for me to be in.
I don't mean to monologue, lol. Thank you a lot for your response. It helps more than you know. She keeps telling me I'm overthinking it. It helps so much to hear someone say that I'm not.