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sgemma chat
Date: November 6, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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Facts redditors be rationalizing bullshit out here
You are insane for trusting this guy.
well hes gonna leave, accept reality as it is
also dont confess to him, keep in contact with him while hes away and use that time to create more romance between you two, so the chances of him wanting to come back are higher and attraction can possibly grow between you two in that way. it needs more time
What about if it’s been 6 years ? How long do y’all think somebody should wait to move on
End it. No point in prolonging this.
Im blown away. He wants to have more going on in the bedroom and, very rare to Reddit, it’s because HE wants to make YOU finish.
This is so rare! I wish my boyfriend was so willing to offer up foreplay to me. Don’t ruin a marriage because he wants to make you cum, that’s absurd.
See a marriage counselor. That’s the ONLY option you should be giving yourself. See a marriage counselor so YOU can get over this, so YOU can become more open in the bedroom. I personally believe your husband is fine, and what he’s asking is 100% reasonable. You have something going on that should be talked through.
You like to cum, you’re okay touching yourself, so why can’t he? That’s the most amazing part of sex life, is experiencing pleasuring and making your partner cum just as it is having them make you cum.
It’s okay to not want someone to touch you, however he’s your husband, he should be the one person you can open up to for these things. Why is it okay for him to feel like this? It’s not okay for you to tell him to make OTHER WOMEN cum because you won’t let him to anything to you.
Again, it’s okay if you don’t want him to, that’s why you should go to a marriage counselor so they can possibly help you come out of your masturbation zone.
Keep it to yourself mate. Best advice i can give. You dont know her situation so you cant judge her.
it seems pretty clear little brother has a crush… that’s okay, crushes are crushes, especially because your boyfriend should trust you enough that nothing will happen.
The gift was very thoughtful; keep them, wear them!
Your bf should have an awkward discussion about boundaries, but tbh, he should leave the gift out and just address the crush. Crushes end and this one is surely only a matter of time, it best to just treat it in good humor and not shut down on the little brother as that could prove bad for his own self esteem. Maybe even the mom can pull rank here and have a heart to heart with her young son.
Nothing was done maliciously here, he was excited to give you a gift he really thought you’d like (and no strings attached).
He seems like a sweet/sensitive boy and blowing this out of proportion could effect their relationship long term.
She didn’t , and don’t even try to say stuff like that about her. She’s a great person
Don’t ever go back OP, she doesn’t care about you only herself
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Good luck whatever happens dude
Well you’ve got to wear it for your whole life so I’ll default to your opinion here. You’re not a trophy case to flaunt his future wealth on.
Some other options to look into are family rings, alternative stones, artificial diamonds, and used rings. If you’re paying for your own wedding you could also spend X amount extra over him so it’s his money going to the ring and your money going to the wedding if that feels right to him. Maybe it’ll just take going to the ring store and checking out the options in his and your budget to come to a compromise.
Ok got it
You got lots of good advice in this thread.
My 2 cents would be to tell your friends, get a restraining order, then ghost
You did the right thing. Try to get your wife some counseling.
He told me that he just really likes ladies and wants to mingle more because he didn’t date many people when he was younger but he wants to also be with me and marry me
so he wants his cake and eat it?
But after he told me all that he said he’ll change to stay with me and stop flirting with other girls by deleting his snap and making a new one and also by seeing a therapist because he admitted he thinks he has commitment issues
he says he wants to marry you and he has commitment issues. so what, he's going to cheat on you whilst he's married?
I do understand him getting over these issues will take time
it might take forever or never happen at all. you're too young to settle for this shit
Thanks! The thing is that I’d be willing to split the taxes and penalties. I’m all for paying my own bills but he also has payments that are pending as well.It’s his money and I have no obligation to tell him what to do with it, but I was thinking it might be another excuse not to move with me. If penalties and taxes are an issue then it’s not intelligent to take out the money, pay off debts, and make payments on the taxes/penalties/etc afterwards (I’m really asking. No sarcasm intended).
OP didnt say so just guessing. He probably never saw the lingerie either. If not, there is only one answer….
You're not. You're toxic. Go work on yourself. You have no business “advising” anyone on relationships.
Learning how to vent and voice your feelings would be easier if you dated someone who actually values your emotions.
Why wouldn’t you tell your husband your BIL kissed you? Girl don’t let that man come over again and tell your husband, keeping it a secret is not the way to go
You’re overthinking. And he probably gave you a stretch-8 if you want to overthink some more. It’s not much different from him wanting you to think he’s the tallest person in the world in your eyes. Not objectively by any measurable standard, but you, at least, should think so.
Be happy that he loves you so much for who you are that he backs it up by spending the only life he has with you.
I am asking for advice, I'm asking if it's the right thing to do. I haven't done anything, I only protected her.
Why tell him ? Because I feel just as bad lying to him and him thinking that his girl is as loyal as ever.
I was more thinking from the viewpoint that if my girlfriend was doing this, I would like to know that she did all of this instead of lying.
Obviously I don't have the balls to do something so cruel to something I care about, otherwise I would have done it already right?
I don't need a petty excuse like revenge, and FYI I'm smart enough to know that doing so will make her resent me not want me.
It sounds like you have poor communications between eachother. Maybe try making time to talk to your wife? You seem to think a lot of things and not say much of anything.
He said he didn’t use the folder anymore for the past few years since he found out he can just save videos on a pornhub account instead :s
Having to block all your male friends was the first red flag.
He won't tell you what he found but he's mad about it: BIG RED FLAG. This means he's mad about something perfectly innocent he knows he has no right to be mad about–or he would tell you. Or he's made it up to have a reason to break up.
He's being difficult about your stuff because he wants you to be at his house, possibly at his mercy. Can you afford to let the stuff he has at his house go, and replace it? if so, FUCK IT, call his bluff and tell him you don't want it and to never contact you again, and then you block HIM.
Right now he has the power. because he has you confused and wondering what you did. But you can take that power back, because he's the one in the wrong. You wanna go through my shit without permission and then pull some baby shit like this? goodbye and idgaf.
Because when it comes down to it–if something is wrong and they refuse to tell you what, that's a THEM problem, not a YOU problem. you literally cannot do anything about a problem you don't know about.
fuck this guy
I know he's great in other ways, but only been a month. Let him go. He is not the one
You're right. Don't play games. Thats some stupid shit people do in movies. My husband called me before my taillights were out of his view. I thought it was the cutest thing ever. We've been together 17 years now.
British person here, because this definitely has a lot of British energy and a lot of Americans are leaping to ‘ALCOHOLIC!’ in the comments but I think this is a cultural thing.
I’m in my mid-20s and sometime last year my partner and I both fortunately came to the same ‘I don’t wanna drink as much anymore/my hangovers are too bad for this to be worth it anymore’ conversation at the same time.
In this country it’s the standard thing to do on a weekend to go get blind drunk, puke your guts up and order a German doner kebab the next day from 18-21. Navigating your way out of that and transitioning to a healthy relationship with alcohol can be a bit tricky, especially if (like your girlfriend) you’re not much of a casual drinker.
It sounds like she’s a ‘drink to reach the intended result of being fucked up’ drinker as opposed to a ‘drink because I like the taste of a nice glass of wine with dinner’ drinker.
If I were you I’d be honest and just say that you’re too old for that shit, your hangovers are too bad, alcohol is terrible for you and losing a day of the weekend isn’t worth it anymore and see what she says. Maybe also plan some other activities like a nice dinner or mini golf or something instead of going to the pub as an outing. Honestly tell her that you don’t want to be picking up cans to drink at home anymore, it’s tacky and there’s no point. Also point out to her that if she’s regularly exceeding 14 units of alcohol a week she’s increasing her risk of alcohol related health problems.
A lot of us in the U.K. literally don’t understand how much alcohol we’re drinking. It sounds dumb but it’s true. Pub culture and binge drinking culture is bred into us from birth.
Personally, my partner and I decided not to drink at home anymore with the exception of sharing a quality bottle of wine with dinner once a week. If we do drink, it’s because we’re stopping by our favourite microbrewery or out for dinner.
Be firm with her, literally just say ‘I can’t be arsed with it anymore’. Tell her she’s putting her health massively at risk and she’s approaching the age where her body’s not gonna recover as well from it. 29 is too old to be going out like you’re 19 – she needs to reframe alcohol as something to be enjoyed in moderation, not a means to an end.
inappropriate comparison.
Just some small times that might help.
Find hobby's and activities that you might be interested in or just makes you happy. Schedule some plans with those friends so you have something to look forward to.
If you can't think of anything, search live for activities both in door and out door, stuff that might take up a lot of time or thought that helps build you up for yourself.
Stand on your own two feet and recognize now that if you don't work on making yourself happy just being by yourself, it could both push them away, or if they ever did leave, make it that much harder for you to have the strength to move on in a healthy manner.
Instead of texting “I need you I'm miserable” find ways to say “Guess what I did today, I had a blast!”
I'm not a doctor but I think you don't wait long enough to have sex again after a year. It keeps tearing cause it's not healed properly. When it happened to my partner we were told to wait 8 weeks.
If you can both afford to pay 50/50, then do that?
Does your BF only pay for rent?
Isn’t it too early to make a move and kiss him? Cuz we’ve only been talking again for 2 weeks I feel like I should be patient a bit
Never! Chat information takes no storage.
Give it some time and you will be fine
Have you tried talking to a therapist? You can do it on-line.
The problem is that early exposure will lead to a spousal support settlement if it impacts her career. As shitty as it sounds, i have seen that happen multiple times over at /r/survivinginfidelity .
The best practice is to wait until declared divorced and then discreetly tell the other party.
I just feel so disrespected that he would be blatantly staring at a girl in front of me and he feels like it’s my job to tell him to stop doing that.
Sounds like an ego-boost to me so he can tell himself that you're just the right amount of 'jealous' over his attention.
UGH! Honestly, this ONE RED FLAG would be enough for me! A month in and it's all about pandering to his male ego. Honey, RUN!
Let me get this straight. Are you saying that you literally cried and had a tantrum because your BF hit “like” on social media? If that’s true, try some therapy. Learn to value and love and trust yourself. You are ostensibly a lovely young lady and have all sorts of things going for you. That level of insecurity is unwarranted and very unsexy.
People consume porn, have thoughts, appreciate attractive people and so forth. It doesn’t mean they don’t love and feel attracted to their partner(s).
I don’t think you should be so obsessed with social media that you’re having meltdowns.
haha monotonous
Why would you expect her to give up her brothers?
Stand up for yourself. No one has the right to say to you/do to you what this bully is doing. Stay with your SO or don’t. The real long-term issue is you having the self-respect to let anyone speak to you in a way that is demeaning to you or the things that are important to you. Get comfortable with telling people loudly to go fuck themselves and standing by it.
I mean it’s possible she could message your gf either true or made up dirt about you to sabotage your relationship. But she could have done that without following her first and there is still not really a way to stop that no matter what. I wouldn’t stress to much about it. If you’ve been hiding anything from you gf about your past now might be a good time to come clean. But to me it sounds like at best someone who follows anyone they end up in contact with and at worst some snooping on the new gf.
You keep mentioning that she is an amazing person. How exactly? All of what you have mentioned here shows how she is the complete opposite of amazing.
Your job is to create a safe environment for her so she can be honest and safe with you. Sometimes couple therapy helps but the success rate is very low. So maybe start with your last paragraph of where she mentioned sleeping with others. Remember she needs to feel safe so be gentle and understanding. In the end you are trying to solve this issue and not make it worse.
Do whatever it takes so at least when you do decide to leave. At 70 or 80 years you would not be looking back with what if?
Good luck
I did too and was so confused.
Oh so if you were home more she wouldn’t be such a floosy? Well if she worked more and didn’t sit in her ass at home, maybe you wouldn’t have to work 10h days. If you had an equal partner rather than a leech, maybe you’d have someone else contributing to the house too. If you married a good woman who loved and respected you enough to remain loyal, you wouldn’t be on Reddit asking us what to do when she is clearly cheating on you.
But alas those things are not in your life right now because it seems you’ve settled for a greedy needy selfish bitch who cares about no one but herself. So are you going to tolerate this or will you demand more and leave if she is unable to be a decent fuckin partner.