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Stacey, 36 y.o.
Location: Australia
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms Stacey
Date: October 15, 2022
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You already gave her the chance.
Ha – you have touched on a topic near and dear to my heart.
Mentioned in question I have a couple of quite close female friends. Totally platonic. Not even couch cuddle with them. It could have been different, but I could not make the age difference disappear for me. Both are 55. We did have a grown up conversation early piece (6 months ago now), and decided that 'besties' it would be.
And I do care for each of them, and them for me.
There was a little sexual tension very early in the piece with one of them for me but that quickly disappeared for me after a couple of catchups . Have not discussed with her what her feelings were – but it is irrelevant now.
A couple of nights ago was sitting on a couch with one of them discussing merits of future prospects on our on-line dating sites.
Anyone I meet down the track would have to tolerant of these arrangements, otherwise they are just not 'the one'. I want someone who is more 'chill'. Someone who 'hangs loose'
Exactly as it has played out for you.
Thank you for taking the time to share that wonderful insight.
I know you friend is most likely will get shit on in the comments but in the end that friend of yours knows you and has been with you and understands the type of person you are. We are all strangers here and we try to give a generalization advice. It was a dick move but we weren’t their and we don’t know you personally only he does. I would have reacted the same way you did but I also do understand their comes a point in time you will need a push and I am gonna say this was one of those times you needed a push so it’s not just on you it relieves some of the stress of starting the conversation.
This isn't an unusual anxiety, many people have it, and it can be overcome.
It's valuable for you to try to think about why you feel this way. What are you afraid of? Are you afraid your boyfriend will not find you attractive if you're not perfect? I doubt that's the case.
Seek some therapy or counseling. Talk through finding the root cause of this fear, and you'll likely find it's something you've artificially inflated the importance of in your mind.
You may be directed to try some gradual exposure therapy. Trying to be intimate after doing most of your routine, but skipping something, maybe not doing your nails. Then once you're comfortable with that, also not doing your hair, and so on, until you're comfortable just being with your partner.
Keep in mind, there's a reasonable level of behavior to this. It's okay to not feel like intimacy if you haven't had a shower that day, for instance. You're not crazy, you're just hypersensitive, but through understanding why that is, and gradually getting used to a less than perfect situation, you can overcome it and feel comfortable and in control more of the time.