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Stiven, 20 y.o.
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Date: October 31, 2022
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She’s has also stated I am not her type at all anymore but she chooses me and wants me over anyone else.
You don’t have an insecurity problem, you have a gf problem. Anyone that says you’re not their type but still dates you lacks self awareness or emotional intelligence. She obviously has more than one type or she wouldn’t date you, or you’re her type in all the ways that matter, or she’s a shallow snot and your a placeholder until she finds her type that wants to date her. So ask her, which is it, does she have more than one type, that you are her type in the ways that matter or are you a placeholder.
If it’s option one or two tell her that she needs to start complimenting and noticing the things about you that are her type or else it just feels like she’d rather be with someone else. If it’s option three, break out. Who needs that nonsense.
Yep to all you said.
I'm not ready for a relationship with this new guy anyway. But is it unfair to my bf if i just call it off w/o giving him some time to try what i say i'm missing? We haven't been arguing or distancing at all. I feel bad cuz he's so excited about coming back.
We met at work and we've been together for 1year 1/2 we online together. So I know what he's doing and It takes a lot for me to be able to trust someone but I've gotten to that point now with him so I trust him fully now. I've been cheated on in just about every relationship so it's always hard to trust someone new.
I don't leave things to luck.
It's been three months fucking run have more self-esteem…. Come on op
if you don't think a man should be friends with an ex, what are you doing?
It was very normal in my subset of US culture
You’re too young this is to new let it go
Partners want to know that their Partners have a life outside of the relationship. Right now you are giving him all the power by sitting waiting by the phone hoping he'd call or text.
Make your own plans or even better, turn your phone off when he is out and only switch it back on the next day.
You're a big girl and you shouldn't let your free time be about him.
Respect yourself man. You’re too young/ there’s too many people out there to back yourself into a corner of inevitable unhappiness. Cut ties homie
Girl you can't ask for more. He doesn't have more he wants to give you. Do yourself a favor and go find someone who gives you more without you even having to ask
I had to scroll too far to find your comment. OP sounds like he's doing a TON – splitting housework and childcare, spending time with his family throughout the day in between working, weekly date night, family time several nights a week, and all day on weekends together. JFC, what more can he do??
OP, your wife needs to make some friends and find a hobby or 2. It's not healthy for all of her social needs to be filled by you alone, and you're entitled to a little time each week to spend by yourself or with your friends (gaming or whatever).
I really don't understand why everyone is claiming he's not doing enough as a husband.
Not unreasonable at all. I would even tell him he can't dye his hair there, since he gets dye everywhere.
I usually do this on the rougher side of town where most people don't have access to Uber. I grew up really poor so I just sympathize with them.
No apologies needed although I appreciate it. We had long periods of estrangement with occasional reunions but she always managed to fuck it up somehow, some way, always. Therapy helped tremendously; I learned how to stand up for myself and not give in to guilt and pressure.
Good luck to you. If you need an ear or someone to talk to, I'm happy to do so. Just remember that you have to be your biggest cheerleader and advocate for your happiness and mental well-being.
Jesus… Why are you still with this woman? Based on your comments, it sounds like you're being beaten down.
It doesn't sound like you're respected or loved; like another animal to neglect. Do something right by the dog and give it to a shelter. Do the same for the bunnies as well (don't let them go into the wilderness. Take them to a rescue. They will die in the wild).They didn't care about them.
Stand up for yourself and your beliefs. They have continually shown that they don't care about the animals and never will. They also care very little for the things you help provide for. Your wife and you are setting a TERRIBLE example for your daughter bc you're not actually teaching her responsibility. Why would you want to start a new chapter of your life where you're doing the exact same things for people who are ungrateful and incredibly selfish.
This is textbook gaslighting from OP.
Losing the husband would be a blessing.
No offense, but you need to take some practical sex education courses.
Its basically impossible to get pregnant in this way. Sperm doesn't hold up well when being exposed to air, saliva, water.. its pretty tempermental.
i also highly recommend openpathcollective.org for therapy, to tag on to your comment
You know what you believe, you just don't like it. Go with your gut.
Definitely wait a bit for everyone to calm down and then sit your husband down and ask him to calmly explain to you exactly why he is upset.
It is totally weird to freak out over sharing a bed with your sibling. If he's an only child he may not understand sibling relationships, which isn't an excuse to freak out on you, but could possibly explain why his first reaction was disgust, because to him your brother is “a strange man” in what he perceives as his marital bed.
Again, not an excuse. He is way overreacting. But communication is vitally important.
If it turns out his concerns are about incest, then ask him some hard questions like does he seriously think so little of you that he assumes you would 1) cheat on him and 2) do so with your own brother.
You need to stop. Cut your sisters and off and make it very clear to your parents that you will not entertain their nonsense anymore. You want them in your life but if they continue to push, then you will make the decision for them and remove yourself from their lives.
Just adding this to my many examples of “don't drink/get high, kids.”
Did home girl plan on having kids someday? I’d get in the best shape of my life and divorce her shallow ass.
Well op has given birth to their child just a few months prior. There's no way this arrangement was gonna be as beneficial for op as for her husband. OP would be stuck at home taking care of their child while he has affair and enjoy his life without the fear of being called a cheater.
Your husband is lying out his *ss trying to claim he doesn't view it as sexual. If he didn't find it sexual why would he want it?
I'll tell you this as a 31 year old… my biggest regret in life, was moving out prematurely.
I eventually had to move back home so I could sustain myself while I studied… this set me years back financially.
If you're studying right now, I highly recommend to save as much as you can and prepare yourself for when you're done school.
Graduating, and being in a great financial position, is something I wish I did. Only when I landed my career, was I able to make up for lost financial time.
Let's say you had another 2 years of school, and you luck out with $600/mo rent… that is ~15K spent, throw other expenses in there for 2 years, you could be spending over 20K, when you could have saved it for when you moved out.
I also house-mated with randoms, it was a nightmare. Had a domestic violent couple. Had a girl who would go through our stuff when we weren't home. Had a guy who would barely make rent. Another was a total drunk. And another one was actually enjoyable. These were all people who gave good first impressions where you would agree to let them move in.
If you're deciding to go out on your own, please make sure it is someone you personally know.
Also bisexual and i 3rd this.
Also in a committed relationship with a man.
I know for fact if I pulled this my bf would be devastated…
Leave her.
You can have a big but inexpensive wedding, you just have to compromise on how fancy the party will be. I know lots of people who essentially had back yard bbqs as receptions and didn’t spend more than a few grand but had all of their friends and family there.
That said, what is he considering big?
Their agreement isn’t actually about alcohol. It’s about staying in for some weekends instead of having their normal blowout Saturday night marathons of drinking and partying. Because it’s expensive.
And he knows that. He’s just using that as an excuse. To control her. But he already revealed his real reason, it’s right there in the “it’s weird” and “doesn’t know any men who would like their girlfriend drinking alone in the pub…”. So the ship has sailed on selling that bullshit about their “agreement”. No.
You keep getting more douchey
It’s ok! Start from where you are and find friends, mentors, or partners who want to practice with you.
Agree with this. Definitely the type to cry afterwards and say she was “manipulated” and they made her feel loved and doubts about the relationship.
And sob saying she will do anything to fix it.
When you are in a committed relationship there is NEVER EVER any excuse or reasoning to be meeting with men who aren't your partner, giving them your number or listening to them flirt with you.
OP this chick isn't wifey!!! I never did shit like this when i was dating my husband, engaged or now after being his wife!
I love him too much to even entertain anyone trying to get in my head or between us in my relationship.
It's insanely disrespectful. I dont know if you choosing to stay with her is a great idea on your part especially because she knew what this was and kept arguing her point.
Knowing full well it was bullshit.. you know who does that?
People who end up in affairs!
Today it’s hurtful words without acknowledgment or apology. Tomorrow it’ll be an aggressive tone. One day it’ll be physical violence. To sincerely apologise isn’t hard to do if you’re sorry that you hurt a loved one. He’s not sorry that he’s upset you. He’ll do it again. Don’t let him break your sense of self worth so he can treat you as a verbal punching bag – or worse. Chin up. Walk. Never look back.