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Sydaffect, 27 y.o.
Location: USA
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Date: October 8, 2022
Great idea
Start communicating solely by email. Make sure you have a record of all agreements made. Stop seeing him in person. Find a lawyer, make sure your ex knows he will be responsible for child support. Make a request in writing that he attends a parenting class ( you should too, they're actually amazing and so helpful). Mindfully separate the person you thought he was from the person he has shown himself to be. When he tries to play nice, remember it's a tactic. Do not soften.
If your boyfriend just wanted to see big tits, he'd watch porn, not a regular movie. It is a ridiculous double standard that you demand that *he* follows this boundary, but that you refuse to follow a similar boundary requested by him. Did it never occur to you that the scenes where the women's tits are showing are *also* an important part of the show or movie and that he's willingly sacrificing watching that important part entirely for *you*? You are obviously very unhappy due to your body image issues. Since this is clearly bothering you so intensely, I strongly urge you to seek therapy for them. You'd feel a lot better if you did.
Yes, it is!
Lol exactly
Sounds like projection
Ok judgey mcjudgerson. People get in relationships sometimes without your consent.
I'm sorry buuuuut even before reading this I was thinking… “How can you love someone who doesn't respect you?” Then boom top comment. I'm tired of seeing these.
It’s only going to get worse.
Feel bad for the sons, he is likely one of those dads that will try to live his sports dreams through them and will hate them for not being up to his imagined standards. Yeah a leap but then how many dads pay that much attention to their kids looks to point they dislike one enough for not meeting his standards?
But it just hurts me. Because closure would hurt me but i will eventually move on.
Idk if he's trying not to hurt me by not being direct…. But it's making things really bad for me. After being together for 21 months, i think I at least deserve a closure/ reason to stop talking .
I am feeling really sad. ='(
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Regardless if what little love you may have, he’s not partner material. His drinking doesn’t help either and it will only get worse for you. Unfortunately you don’t have a future to look forward if you stay in this relationship
Is there a chance? Sure. But… why would you want to?
Yeah but veganism could be, some of those are ultra extreme
You’re being superficial but you’re also not standing up for yourself or your own standard. As a lawyer, you should be able to defend what you want without letting the petty thoughts of others get in the way. Education and money do not equal a good, loving, trusting partner. Your post reads like the beginning of a movie where the affluent woman arrogantly turns down the man who she feels is less than her. Fast forward 10 years and she’s still alone, realizing the error of her ways, while he’s happily married with a loving family. You should do him a favor and let him go because he doesn’t deserve someone who is even considering breaking up for the reasons that you are.
Nothing is as I said to someone else’s comment is that I don’t want to choose between them, but I feel like the situation is pushing closer and closer to that every day. It’s really been stressing me out because after college we all go to the same bus stop to go home and I can tell she gets pissed off when my boyfriend is getting on my bus and she has to get on her bus alone and go home. The thing is I have explained to her why I want to spend a lot of time with him. She knows we are in an intimate relationship and we do things when we come back to my house things that she should definitely not be there for ahah. I just don’t understand why she can’t accept that I can’t be with her all day every day.
Girl you're not.too lose… He's too tiny.
Your husband and his colleague wanted to have sex and concocted this 4-some to get it done. That's it. They didn't think through the fact that their partners would be having sex too. When you two had sex, the realization hit them and now they are both pissed. If anything it sounds like the other husband is a better fit than your current one.
You did nothing wrong. It would have been better if your husband and his colleague would have just had sex and left everyone else out of it.
Google “projection” (psychological)
Time to exit this relationship
how can she turn away a child who has no one?
Women don't exist to provide child care whenever and wherever needed.
Have you had a really serious conversation with him about how you feel? More than just “I’m not ready,” but talking about your anxiety around the subject and all?
Tell him basically everything you said here, tell him why you’re not ready, and just really be honest with him.
Also there’s a chance you’re asexual and might not ever really want sex, which is perfectly okay and normal. It would just be something you and he would have to discuss going forward.
If you be bold about your interest, she will develop/increase her interest in you too.
Sounds to me like she cheated and is embarrassed/ashamed about it.
She waited over 10 years to tell you. She probably thinks it's too far in the past for you to leave her over it.
really dude? you can’t even call the woman who had a key to your place your girlfriend?? and then have the audacity to say she’s insecure when you let another woman (who obviously has feelings for you) in your residence to stay the night? i honestly think it’s mature of her to have boundaries and not allow herself to be treated as a doormat or be belittled by you when she sets them. i think you should sort things out with this “friend” of yours before you start another romantic relationship.
…she said he was only with you because he has a learning disability? What an evil, cruel, bitter and jealous person. And that's the nicest way to put it. I would drop her. She sounds like she doesn't put anything good into your life, just negativity.
At best, he openly supports cheating and lying. Why are you supposed to trust a man who does that?
You're not crazy.
Maybe have a talk with the friend's wife. Just tell her what your husband told you. See what happens when the shit hits the fan.
Please tell everyone. Also, please consider going no contact with your mom and anyone else in your family who wants to silence you, victim blame you, or keep your secret in the shadows for any reason. She is toxic and not someone you want around your child. That she would rather protect a predator than victims is pretty telling that she is a danger to your child and others.
Sorry