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Date: November 5, 2022
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What is this a spy thriller? ?
Your whole family is way overreacting and they’re also sexist for only putting the blame on you. There’s absolutely no good reason for them to be treating you this way and I’m sorry. Heck, one of my cousins married his stepsister (their parents got together when the kids were adults and they didn’t grow up together) and there were some whispers but the whole family still showed up to their wedding.
You didn’t do anything that bad and your family are completely out of line. Please lean on your friends for support, go start your new job, see a doctor/therapist, and start building an independent life away from your terrible family. You’re not a bad person and you deserve a happy life.
By committing a crime. I do not support commuting a crime as a way to making a point. People who think they need to do something that is completely unethical in order to get others to be more ethical. Nope. Hypocrisy and that is something they despise. Find another way.
I think most do, yes. You lose inhibitions and it is easier to skip over whether they're in the most appropriate venue to cuddle with you
i hate to break it to you, but that professor was “grooming” you.
we think of grooming as something done to underage kids, but he was being emotionally and mentally manipulative. And it sounds like it worked. There are awful pieces of shit who look for people in difficult situations and try to use those situations to take advantage of people. it makes them feel like God. don't make him feel like a God. and don't ruin what you have now.
One of the problem people who've have abusive relationships often fall into, is the need for “drama” it's a coping method they learned in the abusive relationship. they fed on the drug of the ups to get them through the downs. The problem it causes is exactly what you're feeling now. You're in a stable and safe and loving relationships. But it's “boring”. the idea of cheating, caring on an affair behind your SO is exciting. you're getting off on the idea of the excitement, the thrill of the danger.
What you're not considering at all, is what that affair will do to your SO, who I presume loves you deeply. It will shatter him. And purhaps, if warning about the grooming behavior of your professor or warnings about leaving a good relationship won't stop you, think long and naked about your SO's face if he discovered you cheating on him with this professor. His love for you turning to hate. withering up and dying. his tears. and him leaving. never to speak to you again.
I hope that helps. but in the end, you do you.
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I don't either… I don't even understand being friends with an ex…I can't do that…once it's over it's over
You were playing yourself by not asking her about it, so she could be doing the same dumb thing like you, not talking about it and finding it weird that you did not say anything then.
Let those asshiles have eachother
I like the way you put that.
OP, get out.
Firstly op, I’m sorry you’re in this situation. I am sending love and light your way. Do you have someone you trust you can seek support from?
There are a lot of bad stories, but there are plenty of good ones. A lot of successful people credit the naked work and determination of their single parent. Think about yourself, your abilities, your support network.
I was a single mom for many years, and while we had our challenges, I also look so fondly on that time for us together. I learned to sew, knit, thrift, and became very handy around the house. I made some other mom friends who shared burdens and support. It was different with my future children, I had the partner, the nursery, the support, but that had its challenges too. Regardless of situation, raising children is both naked and beautiful.
Only you know, and I think you should take some time. Right now it’s chaos, it’s high emotion. Give time to both you and your partner to sit with this, find your thoughts and feelings, and then have a conversation about it. Please recognize that regardless of path taken, your relationship will likely be changed and I highly recommend therapy to navigate feelings so you don’t go down the path of resentment. You have time to decide.
I hope your partner stops being cold to you, you both deserve a partner who is able to support you and talk things out with. TW: I miscarried and had to have a medical abortion to complete the miscarriage, if you have any questions please don’t hesitate to PM.
Will it ever change
we haven’t had sex in 9 years
It hasn't changed in 9 years. How much longer will you wait for the inevitable? It's been almost a decade without sex. Marriage won't fix this.
He says we will get back to sex if you clean the room , holds it over my head like it’s a game.
At this point, stop wasting your time and break up. Anyone who tries to withhold sex is physiologically abusive. Is this what you want for the rest of your life?
You're overthinking this.
Rent 50/50, internet, utilities, etc. 50/50
If you decide to visit your parents and fly to see them, duh, it should come out of YOUR money
There is about a 0% chance this is happening.
Your girlfriend has now lived in London for 2.5 years longer than she otherwise would have, to be with you. This is plenty of time for her to know she doesn’t want to stay there long-term.
It sounds like you have never tried living in Italy. Instead of Australia, it would make more sense to spend summer in Italy together to see if you could be happy there. You’d be close enough to London to fly back for work as needed, and you would get a sense of whether visiting family on long weekends and holidays would be enough for you.
It’s OK if you already know you’d never want to live! that far from London/family. In that case you two need to break up ASAP and get on with your lives.
Emma with the twin hi-beams
What? No, I cheated on him once.
Give her your number, don’t ask for hers. If she doesn’t reach out or start chatting you up, then leave her alone.
Well, I mean I don’t. Unless it’s like 100% I have too or it’s bad then I will. But most relationships do fail nowadays because there isn’t any communication or trying to fix things etc.
She has a very feeble excuse. What pleases one person does not necessarily please another person. You should be learning what pleases each other, not other people.
She is not doing this for you or your relationship. She wants to do it because she has an eye on someone else.
Break up and find someone with similar boundaries as your own. Trust me, opening this relationship is going to hurt you badly.
Good luck
I’m glad you got help, but please realize expecting someone to be your emotional lifeboat for multiple years is… a big ask. It’s not a moral failing for OP to not want to do that.
Yep welcome to life, it’s not always exactly like you dreamed it to be
That's the key right there. I don't need to know any of the rest of the story! If I'm exhausted and you're badgering me to go to dinner, my phone is going off, and I'm going to sleep!!
Every month? Like forever? Fair enough, I did ask the question and if you enjoy that then great.
You burst his fucking bubble it’s YOUR body!
Yes. ?♀️
She just wants to have an evening to do a hobby of her own. She has repeatedly commented that she likes having a job outside of the home.
Sounds like all you do is take and demand more and more from her. What have you done for her? Your willing to take her back if she works on her issues? Are you delusional? She obviously left for a reason and I don't blame her. Go get help and let her find someone who isn't so selfish.
Never really thought about it then, it just crept up in my mind over the years and I couldn't shake it. I wouldn't mention it then but after years of it creeping up I thought I should mention it. It didn't really help
She’s gone and it’s over. Just finish it up.