So you think lying is a better option? Building a relationship based on lying – I assume you are ok if she did the same to you? The problem is she was your ex gf. If it was a mate that would be different. Why do you want to hang with your ex anyway? Things can happen and if they don't happen, things may be implied or assumed happened. You are opening a can of worms.
The only issue I see here is with the nightly bathing (it's bad for their skin to bathe too often). Other than that, if you and Cookie are happy, good for you. If he doesn't like it, it just means you aren't compatible.
No worries man. Honestly, you guys are young and still figuring life out. Just try to focus on the good parts because you never know where it could end up.
If there’s sexual tension then why aren’t u puttin the moves on eg when you’re both drunk at 2am on NYE? Sounds like u don’t know how to physically escalate
If she loses or damages it, she gets money or replacement. It is hers. If they break up, he gets the money or the ring. She buys the insurance. It protects her. Once or if he gets it back, he buys insurance or sells it or keeps it, whatever he wants. Hopefully, all goes well. Pretty straightforward. Silly thing to argue about.
So she's still carrying a torch, and he likes that, so he's keeping her alone and not telling her he's in a relationship. He's a real charmer.
Are you planning a future with this guy? Exactly at what point is he going to spring his long term relationship on her? Engagement? Marriage? First kid? Or does he just intend to keep living an ever growing lie?
Thank you for commenting, you made this easier for me to understand and you’re right he did think he was going to fix me, he said so himself that he thought i wouldn’t still be needing reassurance by now. I know i’m not the healthiest person right now, and i do have trust issues from the past and so i feel i’m very quick to notice energy’s shifting and inconsistencies and lies. It makes it very naked for me to tell what’s real vs in my head. I was really trusting him up until some minor things came up that reminded me of the same behaviour of my past relationship which began my overthinking with him. Now i feel like i’m a mess and always in my head and stuck on what to do. I love him and want to be with him and i don’t want to hurt him, i also don’t want to be hurt either. Should i give him some space so he won’t feel tired with me and how do i give him that without completely being distant from him. I want our relationship to work, he’s the only guy i want to be with.
It’s really tough to say. It’s unlikely she will earn as much as me, but what’s more important is she can earn enough to “support the family” as in only very basic needs because as I shared with her, I’m not willing to take on the stress of a family being financially dependent on me.
She doesn’t do more at home because she feels it should be a shared role. In particular I know she wishes I cooked more and cleaned better because I do both tasks worse than she does.
She has been looking for work and wanted to start a business. I paid for about half the set up of material costs to show support, but she hasn’t really pursed this.
And I really don’t know what role she wants. She’s from a more relaxed culture so maybe that’s a part of it.
If you’re not a troll, you should lock yourself in a room and stay there forever. You’re a toxic, abusive, terrible person who only makes people’s lives worse.
You fight all the time. You have an alcohol problem. You cheated on him. Your relationship became a toxic mess.
You know, some things you can’t take back. Have you ever put too much salt in something you’re cooking? You can’t take it out. There’s nothing you can do except throw it out and start over. Sure, everything might have great before you over-salted it, but after it’s ruined, it no longer matters what it used to be.
So now, you leave him alone. He’s better off without you. You’re better off without him.
Don’t think of it as giving up. Think of it as moving on.
When you marry someone with children it is something to take in to consideration. But she is the adult, and can make a difference in how the situation is. I find this immature on her part, as if you date someone with children, this is what happens. So acting like the children are burdensome after is a waste of energy in making it better and finding a solution.
When you marry it is supposedly for life, I do not understand the selfish attitude that at the first wave you hit the beach. If you did that with a job, or friends or exercise you would fail outright….Selfish.
So you think lying is a better option? Building a relationship based on lying – I assume you are ok if she did the same to you? The problem is she was your ex gf. If it was a mate that would be different. Why do you want to hang with your ex anyway? Things can happen and if they don't happen, things may be implied or assumed happened. You are opening a can of worms.
I strongly disgree. Not because you disagree with me, but with your rationale for why you disagree.
The only issue I see here is with the nightly bathing (it's bad for their skin to bathe too often). Other than that, if you and Cookie are happy, good for you. If he doesn't like it, it just means you aren't compatible.
No worries man. Honestly, you guys are young and still figuring life out. Just try to focus on the good parts because you never know where it could end up.
Yeah I am
If there’s sexual tension then why aren’t u puttin the moves on eg when you’re both drunk at 2am on NYE? Sounds like u don’t know how to physically escalate
You do not love her. Otherwise you wouldn't even think about sleeping with someone else.
If she loses or damages it, she gets money or replacement. It is hers. If they break up, he gets the money or the ring. She buys the insurance. It protects her. Once or if he gets it back, he buys insurance or sells it or keeps it, whatever he wants. Hopefully, all goes well. Pretty straightforward. Silly thing to argue about.
So she's still carrying a torch, and he likes that, so he's keeping her alone and not telling her he's in a relationship. He's a real charmer.
Are you planning a future with this guy? Exactly at what point is he going to spring his long term relationship on her? Engagement? Marriage? First kid? Or does he just intend to keep living an ever growing lie?
“I was the other woman, surely OUR love was meant to be”. Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, cheater and the willfully ignorant.
Thank you for commenting, you made this easier for me to understand and you’re right he did think he was going to fix me, he said so himself that he thought i wouldn’t still be needing reassurance by now. I know i’m not the healthiest person right now, and i do have trust issues from the past and so i feel i’m very quick to notice energy’s shifting and inconsistencies and lies. It makes it very naked for me to tell what’s real vs in my head. I was really trusting him up until some minor things came up that reminded me of the same behaviour of my past relationship which began my overthinking with him. Now i feel like i’m a mess and always in my head and stuck on what to do. I love him and want to be with him and i don’t want to hurt him, i also don’t want to be hurt either. Should i give him some space so he won’t feel tired with me and how do i give him that without completely being distant from him. I want our relationship to work, he’s the only guy i want to be with.
It’s really tough to say. It’s unlikely she will earn as much as me, but what’s more important is she can earn enough to “support the family” as in only very basic needs because as I shared with her, I’m not willing to take on the stress of a family being financially dependent on me.
She doesn’t do more at home because she feels it should be a shared role. In particular I know she wishes I cooked more and cleaned better because I do both tasks worse than she does.
She has been looking for work and wanted to start a business. I paid for about half the set up of material costs to show support, but she hasn’t really pursed this.
And I really don’t know what role she wants. She’s from a more relaxed culture so maybe that’s a part of it.
If you’re not a troll, you should lock yourself in a room and stay there forever. You’re a toxic, abusive, terrible person who only makes people’s lives worse.
You fight all the time. You have an alcohol problem. You cheated on him. Your relationship became a toxic mess.
You know, some things you can’t take back. Have you ever put too much salt in something you’re cooking? You can’t take it out. There’s nothing you can do except throw it out and start over. Sure, everything might have great before you over-salted it, but after it’s ruined, it no longer matters what it used to be.
So now, you leave him alone. He’s better off without you. You’re better off without him.
Don’t think of it as giving up. Think of it as moving on.
Thats irrelevant. Military life is extremely structured and disciplined, like this person said. Its a huge change to go from that, to normal life.
It’s does but holy fuck does it take awhile ?
When you marry someone with children it is something to take in to consideration. But she is the adult, and can make a difference in how the situation is. I find this immature on her part, as if you date someone with children, this is what happens. So acting like the children are burdensome after is a waste of energy in making it better and finding a solution.
When you marry it is supposedly for life, I do not understand the selfish attitude that at the first wave you hit the beach. If you did that with a job, or friends or exercise you would fail outright….Selfish.