That’s because you are trusting your instincts. You should be invading his privacy when your gut tells you to. He is purposefully being inappropriate behind your back and not communicating with you about it. He has no respect for you or his marriage.
Seriously though, that’s literally how absurd he is being. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your vagina. The problem is he’s trying to manipulate you into letting him do anal sex because he cares more about his pleasure than your health and comfort. Honestly, dump him and find someone who actually respects you.
First, congratulations and consider joining r/pregnant for more support.
Second, I am in a similar situation. My baby daddy talked about maybe having kids with me one day and knew I wouldn’t terminate if an accident happened. Lo and behold, he’s ruined the pregnancy experience for me and I’ve felt very alone for most of it. He said many similar things to me as your boyfriend said to you. He got a bit better at about the halfway point/anatomy scan – I think he finally accepted it as real – but not significantly enough to be supportive in the way I want or need.
One thing you need to consider that others have mentioned is that you may have to parent alone. It may be a choice between a baby and a relationship. In my case, the guy tried to talk me into terminating and trying for a baby later on. But I already knew I’d resent him too much, another pregnancy wasn’t a guarantee with my health and family history, there’s no ‘ideal’ time, and most of all that I never wanted to risk a similar reaction to a pregnancy as he had with this one. I don’t know that I can ever commit to having another child with him specifically. I chose the pregnancy. He has stuck around so far, but I expect it to change literally at any time and am mentally prepared to parent alone if I have to.
My case is not your case and my feelings may not apply to you. Only you can decide how important keeping this pregnancy is, what you will regret losing most, how you can see the relationship going, or if you feel confident doing this without him. You’re honestly in a better position than I am, it sounds like.
If you can, get away from him for a few days. I took a trip to visit family early on in my second trimester and a just a bit of time to clear my head while being away from the negativity and around more supportive people did WONDERS for my mental health. If even just a weekend getaway is feasible, do it.
And if she wants to change his surname to only hers again?
No they don't. Especially when it pertains to a 28 year old man child.
That’s because you are trusting your instincts. You should be invading his privacy when your gut tells you to. He is purposefully being inappropriate behind your back and not communicating with you about it. He has no respect for you or his marriage.
He told me to get tighter
Tell him to get thicker. Problem solved.
Seriously though, that’s literally how absurd he is being. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your vagina. The problem is he’s trying to manipulate you into letting him do anal sex because he cares more about his pleasure than your health and comfort. Honestly, dump him and find someone who actually respects you.
First, congratulations and consider joining r/pregnant for more support.
Second, I am in a similar situation. My baby daddy talked about maybe having kids with me one day and knew I wouldn’t terminate if an accident happened. Lo and behold, he’s ruined the pregnancy experience for me and I’ve felt very alone for most of it. He said many similar things to me as your boyfriend said to you. He got a bit better at about the halfway point/anatomy scan – I think he finally accepted it as real – but not significantly enough to be supportive in the way I want or need.
One thing you need to consider that others have mentioned is that you may have to parent alone. It may be a choice between a baby and a relationship. In my case, the guy tried to talk me into terminating and trying for a baby later on. But I already knew I’d resent him too much, another pregnancy wasn’t a guarantee with my health and family history, there’s no ‘ideal’ time, and most of all that I never wanted to risk a similar reaction to a pregnancy as he had with this one. I don’t know that I can ever commit to having another child with him specifically. I chose the pregnancy. He has stuck around so far, but I expect it to change literally at any time and am mentally prepared to parent alone if I have to.
My case is not your case and my feelings may not apply to you. Only you can decide how important keeping this pregnancy is, what you will regret losing most, how you can see the relationship going, or if you feel confident doing this without him. You’re honestly in a better position than I am, it sounds like.
If you can, get away from him for a few days. I took a trip to visit family early on in my second trimester and a just a bit of time to clear my head while being away from the negativity and around more supportive people did WONDERS for my mental health. If even just a weekend getaway is feasible, do it.