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Terry, 24 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Terry
Date: October 11, 2022
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Might be your age difference and not wanting people at work to see you.
You need therapy
Comment is a bit aggressive, but you’re right. Plan B is NOT birth control- plan B is accident control, and doing it raw and taking it consistently is not an accident. Also from what I know about plan B, wouldn’t that make your cycles far worse??? What is your logic here girl, please for the love of god use a condom at least. Also if you take oral birth control it should make your cycle usually line up exactly with you pill pack, and should also lighten you period. Probably cheaper than plan B too.
I was in a very similar type of relationship at your age. So many people around me kept saying, “you're young. You should date other people before you get as serious as you are in your current relationship.” I didn't like hearing that but until I finally broke up with him and started dating someone else, I realized I should have left that relationship much earlier. Happy and healthy relationships actually exist. We occasionally argue but even then we don't doubt our relationship. We just communicate about it and treat each other well.
They were hiding it not because they thought it was bad but because op would have been upset.
He always said that there will be a marriage and not to worry about that… at some point I feel like I was waintg for nothing so I told him “if we will not marry untill nov 2023 I will be very mad”. So now its kind of decided that will marry in september or something like that (but we didn't start plannying or anything). But after all.the tings that he told me..after all the “I'm not ready, I will do it as a payback to you for waiting” after all the time when I was telling him “I can't wait to have a family with you ” and he getting mad of me for saying that and not talking with me after that… I mean… I dont know if I still want it anymore…not like that..
And that proclamation of his was called projection. 🙂
Let that shit go. At this point, you know you're more than that. He didn't want to deal with his family interrogating him about you. It was obviously a self-preservation reaction, as well as shielding you a little bit from whatever drama might occur.
Unless you're maybe looking for a reason to break up, you should laugh this off. Make it an inside joke between you two.
I mean she’s not wrong. There’s evidence that proves of all that she is talking about. I would have you tune in to TIMCAST on YouTube and see if your opinions differ after that.
Right! This reminds me of when my ex cheated on me and I promptly dumped him. Cue the “I KNEW you didn't love me unconditionally!” Sir, you rawdogged a stranger while I was at my grandma's funeral. Damn straight I no longer love you and want out.
If the video you sent was featuring two white people then I really don’t see the problem. Im really lost on how watching porn featuring two white actors as a black women isn’t weird when you felt that it was weird to watch a video with two black actors. And it really sucks that you can’t have an open conversation about things of sexual nature with a girlfriend. Hope things work out
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That would be something to ask your divorce attorney
Also what do you mean by “more like me”? Is it really that bad to have a crush on him? Ive had people inbox me telling me im perverted and gross. It's actually getting to me. Its just a crush right? I feel like i just feel appreciated in a way that i havent been before
Its naked to let that first one go… some of us never do. But as you get older youll realize that it was just a learning experience that hopefully you enjoyed to some degree. The best part of life is that there are endless learning experiences and things to find joy in, but to fully grasp the most out of life you have to accept the scars that come with it. Maybe in 10 years yall will reconnect and its the person you were always meant to be with, maybe she’ll have ugly kids and youll find someone who makes you happy in ways you could never imagine. Its all part of the journey friend, feel your feelings and let them be what helps you grow. Good luck.
He left it there. His fault. You didn't need to compensate him IMO but it was probably the right choice. You took the high road.
Girl start dating a responsible man. You want him to be a different person, so why don't you simply find another person? That wasn't rhetorical, I'm really asking why you want to put this much effort into changing him. You are stressed out everyday by him. Don't you think it would be easier and happier to be single? The only thing positive about the relationship is a “thoughtful and caring side” but it sounds like that side only exists when he doesn't have to do any of the normal maintenance in life.
You know that his mom taught him this behavior so clearly his entire world view was formed around laziness. He doesn't do those things because 1)he knows someone else will do it for him or 2) it must not be important anyways. Nobody can change him unless he wants to change. If he is stubborn and doesn't think he needs improvement then he will remain this way and probably get worse because he'll be resisting your efforts. From his perspective things are fine. His mom let him get away with it, and so are you. For 3 years you have been reluctantly doing everything for him, but you have still been doing it. Why should he change when it's so easy for him to live! like this? Even if you leave him he has his mom. If he doesn't have either of you then he'll online off the government or find some place to live for free. I imagine he's the type that will spend more effort to get assistance money instead of just getting a job. What incentive does he have to start helping you? The correct answer is your happiness should incentivize him. Does he know you are unhappy? Does he care? What conversations have you had already about your stress and unfair treatment? You have both set the terms of the relationship: you do all the maintenance and work and have all the stress, he sits back and lives easy. He had the same balance of relationship with his mom, it's who he is.
You mention adhd. Is is severe? Is he autistic? You “got him into therapy” but does he want to go?
Religion is considered one of those big ticket things in relationships, and for good reason. Very few people are able to manage a relationship with significant religious differences because the core of many faiths is the idea that they are the only “correct” one.
If you need to “convert” to be in a relationship with someone, it probably isn't worth it and will only cause heartache in the end.
Look. You didn't steal money from her, or lie to people to damage her reputation, or anything of that nature. Looking on someone's phone isn't some life altering scandal. You looked on her phone because she was acting differently and giving you “cheating” vibes with her behavior. You didn't abuse her or mistreat her in any way. If she tries to spin it and make you the bad guy for looking on her phone and invading her supposed privacy, then all you have to do is state that you wouldn't have felt the need to look if she hadn't been acting differently and going on and on about her new friend; if she hadn't become clearly very enamored with that guy and clearly hiding something from you, for him. And how does your peaking on her phone excuse what she did behind your back on that oh so important phone of hers? Plus, she'd only be mad that she got found out about… kind of like how some people are only sorry that they got caught. Then you can tell her that she's both being manipulative for trying to equate the two things, and that she's not worth your time anymore since she's happily cheating on you.
Kick her out of your life by blocking her on everything and telling your family, her family and all of your mutual friends why you broke up with her.
What will you do when you grow old and are no longer attractive in conventional sense. Men usually get attracted to younger women. You won’t be young forever. So do you think you should base your value as a human being on what Jen feel towards you? It’s a recipe for low self worth and it’s going to take you nowhere.
I've suggested some edits, they look like this: ( ). I've written my notes in the parantheses, and where I think you should cut, I made this note: (…)
It's important to use an assertive and active voice in an apology, and I think my edits help with that.
I have one suggestion that you may want to show more understanding for the recipients' hurt feelings.
“Happy New Years! I was thinking about you and (…) wanted to reach out, I hope (you're) doing well. (…) I'm sorry for how I responded when you reached out a few months ago. I'm usually good with my words (…) but I can't help but feel like I was too direct and stand offish when I replied. I felt like an ass once I thought about it and I wanted to apologize.(…) I made the mistake of thinking “it’s too late to say anything”, but it’s never too late to make things right. Honestly, I shouldn't have thought there was any hidden intentions and it's rare to find people who just reach out and check up on you like that (this is the part where you emphasize that you understand how your actions hurt them. State that. Eg. “Feeling mistrusted hurts, and I'm sorry I made you feel that way”). That's just further testament to how good of a heart you have and how genuine you are as a person. You didn't deserve that, you deserve much better than that.( …) I know it's no sweat off your back but I did want to apologize. If you ever need anything just know I'll always be be here for you (I know you probably wont ask for help, but I just wanted to say it). Honestly though I'm always here, if your in a pinch for dinner at work or something just let me know and I'll bring you some food ?. On a more serious note I'm wishing you nothing but happiness this year and I'm glad to see that you've been focusing on your happiness. I believe in you and I'm wishing you all the best. Happy New Years”
This is weird. If you're going for a walk you are more or less side by side. Asking to go for a walk usually means we're going to walk and talk. Not necessarily about something important.
Now – you asked him to slow down. And you thought he would do that. Then he kept going. I kind of think asking for the apology was not the way to go. Ask why do I have to keep up with you? We are together. Why do you feel you get to set the pace? Be in charge? When there are two of us here?
I have been on tiktok for about 3 years now and never did anything that it told me to do, I think this one is on you
It is not that simple. You just copy and pasted the first result from your google search, which is entirely incorrect. Genetic coding is quite complex and still not entirely understood.
Blue eyes are a recessive trait, and brown eyes are a dominant trait. This means that if two blue eyed people carry the brown eye gene, and their daughter ends up with a brown eye gene and a blue eye gene, she will have brown eyes.
We already know that OP Carries the brown eye trait, as her mother has brown eyes. If OPs husband Carrie’s the brown eye trait aswell, their children will have brown eyes if they end up carrying the brown eye gene.
And unfortunately all of the relationship subreddits are FULL of posts (mostly from women) who are in that exact scenario.
Did you really feel the need to ask this? Like, you weren't sure if this was ok and needed a second opinion?
The good part about that is… I actually do not have the grace/strength to put up with it anymore.
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If someone tells you to stop contacting them – just stop. Contacting them to say “hi” after being told to stop is harassment.
I know how you can make this stop though. Want to know how?
When I was your age I had a boyfriend who often gave me infections from sex, condoms didn't make much difference. Funnily enough it was just that one guy. Pretty sure it must have had something to do with his hygiene… someone else suggested getting your guy to shower before sex, I'd go further and make sure he's washing his junk, and that he actually cleans under the foreskin too.
Oh ok, thank you
This is pretty solid dumping territory, as far as I am concerned.
You’re a pedo
vegetarianism
excuse me, this is not a religion nor an extreme.
Run
He’s cheating 100%
You’re probably right! Thank you (: !
On one side i understand that you view this with discomfort for someone that was with your partner as if she was cheating, but her past experiences are part of who she is and you can't change it. She had a good time with her family, friends, and yes maybe with past partners but that alone i don't think is enough for feeling the way you do.
Talk to her and see what you can do. Go out with her, do things she likes, and create new memories and experiences that overlap her past ones. Is normal to have insecurities in a relationship. You can work in communicating more with your partner and with time your trust in her can overcome what you feel now.
I don't want to disagree with someone who is probably more experienced then myself, but I have seen instances with partners where there might not be any outward symptoms however there was a minor increase in the normal bacteria that caused a doctor to prescribe something but left it up to the partner whether to fill the script. There is definitely a different smell even with a minute change(or I have super small)
Report him or he will do it to somebody else.
I may get downvoted for this but I actually think it is kinda selfish of you to date someone who has a sex drive as an asexual. I personally think of it in my situation I am childfree, I think it would be incredibly selfish for me to date someone who wanted kids even if they were happy staying with me.
I can’t imagine anyone who would claim to love someone, but doesn’t want to fulfil them as much as possible. Just to clarify that does not mean don’t be asexual, be true to who you are and don’t change but there’s no real reason for you to date someone who you know is sexual even if they are down for it, it will only lead to resentment on their part as their needs aren’t being met.
I’ve gone through her phone, and the guy is not added on anything and I haven’t found anything suspicious
Call it what you want but she is under no obligation to talk about it. My husband and I never delved into each other’s body count or experiences. We made sure we were clean and that was a wrap.
Staying in a bad relationship is a relationship fail. Leaving a bad relationship is a success. Instead of basing it on how long it lasts base it on its quality
He's not getting there without one anyways. When I tried to visit relatives in US, they required the proof of vaccination, and the ones I don't have, they required from a list of places that are authorized to provide papers I did get them.
Anyways, I think your values are not compatible. What's next? Will he force your future children to never have vaccine?
Exactly, which is why I'm concerned that so many people here are giving the advice to tell the wife. There are real life consequences outside the reddit bubble. I really hope OP is seeing the comments below those advocating for it who are pointing out the very real dangers of doing so.
That is true ! But if i take probably two weeks to make up my mind. .. that’ll probably be it .. i don’t believe she’s be around and i don’t blame her
Excellent advice. I especially love the last part – because it’s so true. Adults don’t ever comment on the maturity of their social equals. I’ll need to remember this to tell my daughters one day.
I can tell you she did not try to kill herself. She has manipulation down to a point though
This deserves more upvotes and awards. I was too angry and repulsed to give a helpful comment. Yours does a great job explaining the deep revulsion and why it's valid, which is something most of us either couldn't or wouldn't do. Good job!
Why are you together? You're entirely incompatible.
Are you hoping she'll one day magically become a different person? Because she probably won't.
ig ur gf was spooning some guys d into her maybe the terminally live! dweebs would see how weird they sound downvoting op so very hot for having VERY REALISTIC emotional. and logical reactions given common culture.
I have a lot of love for him but those few hours apart felt refreshing and free.
“Refreshing and Free” you said that. That's how it should be. Not anxious and guilty. He's playing a game, he hasn't changed. I promise, he hasn't changed.
yeah, me too and most of the spring and summer i live! with a permament eye squint lmao
his physical affair
Are you all in high school?
I get that… but I wasnt looking for anything serious at the time. I dont think I have ever found a good relationship when I was looking for one tbh.
I get that… but I wasnt looking for anything serious at the time. I dont think I have ever found a good relationship when I was looking for one tbh.
Agree, the age gap has always worried me. He looks very young for his age, maybe mid-30s. But in reality he's pushing 50. I feel like I'm with someone in their first long term relationship but also in reality, he was married and is now divorced!
It’s okay for him to want to do something not with you…..it sounds like you’re smothering him and he’s overwhelmed.
Okay, there's a lot of good answers here, and I don't want to take away from that. But from a guy who's had a few FWB situations… if he's finishing faster it's usually because he doesn't care enough to put in the effort anymore to last longer and try new stuff out.
Please don't go back to jer she seems to see herself as above you and your ex and that's not kool. Just because she looks good doesn't mean her heart is good she seems kinda shallow.
You should work on you and be who you are happy being nothing more and definitely nothing less.
Good luck! I hope whatever you do you are happy.
I think the biggest thing here, if you plan to date someone in their early twenties, is that you need to be prepared for them to change, potentially a lot. I personally am in a relationship with an age gap of 20 years (I'm 30sF, he's 50sM) and I know he's my person, so I'm never going to be outright opposed to an age gap. We've been together for six years. That said, I think it is very different for people in their early twenties, simply because change is quite dramatic between 20 and 30, possibly more so than any change you'll experience later in life. I think you're right to be a little wary.
“So what if I did put the photo in there on purpose? He still chose to go through my purse when I wasn't there, took a picture of something inside, and sent it to me in an extremely creepy and flirtatious way, and then asked incredibly inappropriate and invasive questions the next morning that left me feeling incredibly unsafe around him. I don't care if it was a joke. It wasn't funny and it wasn't appropriate. And you need to reevaluate why you think harassing a coworker after invading her privacy is acceptable.”