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Date: October 31, 2022

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  1. Even that isn't a boundary. You just reworded the demand that she not see her parents, which OP's partner doesn't get to do, either way. The boundary would be: Your parents are constantly insulting and belittling me and you've never stood up to them for me. If you go to visit your parents as if everything is normal, I will need to reevaluate this relationship.

    YOU CAN ONLY SET BOUNDARIES FOR YOURSELF. If someone is intruding on the relationship you have with someone else, then you can set boundaries for your SHARED RELATIONSHIP, if this intrusion affects you. But your partner having normal parent/child relationships with her parents ISN'T AN INTRUSION ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP. In the above case, the parents were verbally abusive to the hypothetical partner, so the HP was able to say that the hypothetical OP's lack of support was a dealbreaker.

    But if the partner's relationship with their parents has no actual impact on OP, then OP doesn't even get to say that visiting their parents is a dealbreaker.

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